Story: 29 years old to successfully date, you can see a set of photos of her mobile phone, fiancé repented on the spot

This story has been published exclusively by the author: Jiu Xi, authorized to read the story app every day, and its associated account "Tanke" has been legally sublicensed to be released, and the infringement will be investigated.

The customer arrived as promised. Tall and tall, wearing a simple T-shirt and light blue jeans and canvas shoes. A girl with a white face, glasses, and a very Sven.

She had her knees together, her calves crossed, her body leaning forward slightly, and her smile revealed eight teeth. Some shyness, but also some restraint.

"My name is Song Tong, I work for an English magazine and am the editor of the children's edition." Her voice is sweet and lovely.

Rules – it was my first impression of her. She should be a good tutor, I guess.

"My family introduced me to a boyfriend last year, an engineer from a state-owned enterprise, and our relationship is going well and we are getting married this year."

"Very well, congratulations."

"But—" She lowered her head, and she wanted to say something again.

"There's still some fear of marriage, right?"

She smiled a little stiffly, but didn't answer.

"It's normal, anyone who walks into the unknown will be nervous, not to mention you're still so young."

"Twenty-nine, are you still young?"

There was only one name on her profile, and I didn't really see that she was twenty-nine years old.

I couldn't help but laugh, "Age doesn't mean anything, it's not necessarily related to marriage." ”

"That being said, my family is too busy to do it." The same goes for the man, who is two years older than me and is nagged by his parents all day. ”

"Why did you decide to get married?" I asked.

She was stunned at first, and then, she smiled, "Do you think I was 'forced'?" Actually, it's not, I still like him. Before meeting him, I had been blind dated many times, maybe I was too picky, I didn't look at any of them, but Wang Yan, I was in love at a glance.

He looks very good to me, handsome is not so obvious, not ugly. The face is a little dark, and the eyes are not large, but it is very sunny. The key is that the two of us have the same views and interests, we both like movies, like poetry, and more rarely, he likes to go to the theater to see plays like me. To be honest, it is really lucky to have such a person who chats and plays together. ”

"Isn't that great?"

"Yes, it's good. So this valentine's day he proposed to me, and I agreed to it. ”

"Congratulations!"

She smiled slightly, but her expression suddenly turned cloudy.

"But I have a secret in my heart that I can't tell him."

With that, she turned and pulled a tablet out of the briefcase beside her, "I want to show you this." She nodded skillfully for a while and placed the tablet in front of me.

On the screen, there are neatly arranged photos. Thick clothes, high heels, enchanting postures, ambiguous lights, each one is beautifully dressed, eye-catching.

Her hand reached over and slid the photo down. Rows and rows, rows, densely packed, are all the same charming style.

"This is?"

"This is me! It's all me. ”

She blushed, a little excited, a little shy. I was so amazed that I could barely speak.

She put the tablet away and placed it on her lap.

"This is a social media account I applied for when I was studying abroad, and now I have more than 200,000 followers." She kept her head down, afraid to look me in the eye, "I don't know, I don't know what to do." ”

"To be honest, I was also surprised. If you hadn't admitted it yourself, I wouldn't have recognized it as you. ”

"The makeup is so thick, it's really not easy to recognize." People who don't know me well probably won't think it's me. She smiled bitterly, "Can I explain?" ”

"Oh, of course."

"I graduated from college and went to graduate school abroad, and I didn't go to a good school or a good place, the land was sparsely populated, and there were not many Chinese people. I've been there for over a year and I don't have any friends. Lonely, it's all because of loneliness. I applied for a social account and started uploading some photos.

But ordinary life photos, how to shoot no one to see, once went swimming, wearing a swimsuit to take a few photos, got a lot of attention. And then, just like being encouraged, I took more and more shots, more and more likes, more and more people followed me, and I also took over a few businesses.

"I want to come to you, but there are some things that I don't think clearly. I used to be a conservative person, reading in a disciplined manner, being a good daughter of my parents, and talking about love twice in a short time, which was also a rule.

Before I went abroad, I hadn't even been to a bar a few times, but since I applied for this account, my other side seemed to have suddenly been stimulated.

Oddly enough, I actually enjoyed the process. I shoot all in my dorm, I buy A SLR, I have a small video camera, I use Christmas lights to build a set, and then I retouch myself and cut the video.

I love showing my side, and I even get excited. I would also imagine some plot for myself, come up with some characters, and in my imagination, I would spark with them and then have a sexual encounter. ”

Song Tong blushed, obviously these things made her shy.

"I'm a pervert, right?" What's it called? split personality? She asked suddenly.

"No, of course not. You know exactly what you're doing, it's not a split personality at all. ”

"I just can't imagine that if he knew that I still had this side, he would still like me and marry me."

"He doesn't know yet?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't dare mention it at all. I thought about canceling this account completely, but I couldn't help it. I don't know why, but it seems that it is very difficult to say goodbye to that role. At the beginning of this year, I have deleted a lot of photos, but when I delete them, I am particularly uncomfortable. ”

"Two hundred thousand followers?"

She nodded.

"There should already be some commercial value. Will you interact with your fans? ”

"Yes."

"There must be a lot of people who appreciate you and praise you?"

"Yes, yes. I know that their comments are very superficial, and I know that there are probably a lot of lewd men behind the screen, but I just enjoy those words and the feeling of being noticed. ”

"What about before? What was you like before? ”

"That's probably what you see." My father is a bridge engineer, working in the field all year round, can't come back a few times a year, comes home is also gray-headed, my mother is a quality inspector in a food factory, and her life is very simple. Maybe because they are all from rural families, they don't pay any attention to the quality of life.

When I was a child, the clothes I wore were all that my cousins couldn't wear, and my mother wouldn't let my mother wear them because of the fancy clothes. How to say it? My mom was a frugal person who was almost conservative and old-fashioned, and other girls put nail polish on their ears and eyes, and I couldn't let my mom think about it.

My mother has made me keep a low profile since I was a child, when I was a child, I wanted to go to dance class and she pushed three or four blocks, and she suspected that the girl's family was stared at badly on the stage.

After puberty, it was even more excessive, I wore the rustic and conservative clothes she bought, but my friend dressed beautifully, she still had to give advice, talking in front of me, telling me not to play with people.

Say that the mind can only be focused on learning, don't think about dressing all day long, as if it will fall into depravity. Sometimes I think, I wish she had made me a boy, and she might be more tolerant of me. ”

Her words gave me some answers, and the beauty-loving nature that had been suppressed since childhood was only released after she went abroad.

I have some pity Song Tong, in her growth process, she has become accustomed to the cage given to her by her mother, her dress, words and deeds, has been solidified in her heart into a set of codes of conduct, want to break through, it is easy to talk about.

Even if the mother is not around, she will have a "nother mother" in her heart, always supervising her and accusing her. So she's used to keeping a low profile, used to not being noticed, used to being obscure.

That account number is an exit. She released herself and received a lot of attention, even though she knew it wasn't appropriate, but she coveted that feeling.

Song Tong also talked about some trivial things when he was a child, talked about his strong mother, and also talked about his father who was wandering outside the family.

When the time came, she felt overwhelmed. But there was still a client behind me, so I had to say goodbye to her and make an appointment to meet again in a week.

But two days before our appointment, one evening, she called me crying. It turned out that under that account, there was another story, and it developed to the point where it was difficult for her to end.

She was crying alone by the river when she called me, and when she saw me, she cried even harder. Some excitement, some loss of soul.

"I don't know, how could he suddenly appear? Also hit those photos on the projector. ”

"He, who is he?"

"Prometheus."

"What?"

"Prometheus, that's his screen name, I don't know his real name."

"Don't worry, you say it slowly."

"Today is the cocktail party for the twentieth anniversary of our magazine, and there is a hall where all my colleagues, leaders, and some of my peers are present. We waited for the projector to play the company's anniversary promo, but halfway through the trailer, we started playing my photos, those, the ones you've seen, like that.

I was terrified, everyone was scared. Halfway through the picture, I ran to the front of the computer and tried to pause, but I heard the voice coming from the speaker, 'You didn't expect it, this is our Song Tong!' ’

I thought I was dreaming, and I immediately turned off the computer, but everyone was looking at me, and people I didn't know were looking at me. ”

Song Tong's face was full of tears, and he was still trapped in that feeling of embarrassment and shock.

She twitched, "If you don't mention my name, maybe, no one will recognize me, recognize that it's me, but he told everyone, everyone looked at me, I can't escape, everyone recognizes..."

I put my arm around her shoulder and patted her back, and she cried again, her pale makeup diluted into a series of lines on her cheeks.

The night lights of the distant bridge shone on her side face, and her confusion, fear, and uneasiness were magnified in the light. I appeased her for a long time, and when she slowly calmed down, she told the story of "Prometheus."

She looked at the sparkling river and sighed lightly, "He followed that account to find me." I don't know when he started paying attention to me, but the first time he left me a message was when I first came home. He was different from everyone else, and when people praised me for being beautiful, he just made a faint expression.

Later, he said more, saying that I was like a star, and also said that I looked very temperamental. In short, his comments are different from everyone else's.

He caught my attention, and I shut him up. From the pictures he sent, he was supposed to be a travel blogger, he went all over the world and took beautiful pictures, and he also took beautiful women, but it looked much more advanced than my pictures.

Like the hard photos in the magazine, the makeup is very textured, and the film effect is also amazing.

"After the mutual shutdown, we chatted occasionally. At first I would be curious about what he looked like, and he would ask me what life was like. The conversation between the two of us was restrained at first, but then it slowly opened up.

He told me that his main business was network engineer, and his side job was photographer, and he found me through the Internet and found that I was actually in China, and he was interested in me. ”

"You had feelings?"

"Yes. We had an online relationship, to be precise, I was in another identity with him, that unrestrained identity. And his mystery is also what attracted me.

He never told me where he was, what he was like in life, not even my real name. I enjoy flirting with him and enjoying being valued by him. I don't know why, I was like being treated like another person, with a kind of free, rebellious joy.

"Soon, we met, and we made an appointment to go to Yunnan together. Along the way, I was very nervous. Before I left, I was wearing long sleeves and long skirts, but as soon as I got off the plane, I went to the bathroom to change my clothes, and I also put on makeup, very heavy makeup. Thousands of miles away, no one knows me, I can be another me, this feeling is refreshing.

Prometheus's plane arrived an hour later than I did, and I waited for him in the café at the airport. As soon as he appeared, I recognized him. Although the pictures he had given me before covered his eyes, his mouth was so special, angular, and the corners of his mouth were slightly upturned, and I recognized him at once.

That trip, it was very happy, we were like ordinary couples, eating and living together, everything that should have happened happened. We were sweet, but he wouldn't tell me his real name, and of course, I didn't tell him the city I lived in. He took a lot of pictures of me, and under his lens, I felt like I was free of all restraints, not shy, and didn't care about other people's eyes. ”

"Freedom, right?" I asked.

"Not only freedom, but also self-confidence. He told me I was in great shape and I was beautiful, and he said I looked good in the film, and even encouraged me to work as a model in a big city. But I didn't dare, I didn't have the courage to abandon everything in my hometown, and it was impossible to become a model, if my mother knew, she would kill me. ”

"You're together?"

"Not really. We are not like boyfriend and girlfriend, more like secret lovers. It was a wonderful relationship, he didn't say I was his girlfriend, who didn't even know his real name?

And I know in my heart that we have no future. On that trip to Yunnan, we had a lot of fun, but it seemed that everything stopped there.

After we came back, we communicated less and less. This is not unilateral, but mutual. I can feel his coldness, and I know that the delicate and even somewhat dangerous relationship between us is unrealistic and cannot be sustained. We only send holiday greetings occasionally, very official. ”

"Then you met your current fiancé."

"Yes, Wang Yan appeared. I knew him as the conformist, conservative self. He likes me, and he must like me like this. He said I looked very well-behaved, very simple, and he liked people liked people. I also told you that I want to delete that account and live with Wang Yan in a down-to-earth manner.

But in April of this year, Prometheus came back to me. He said he broke up with his girlfriend and he wanted to be with me. Yes, you heard it right, he always had a girlfriend and they've been together for many years. And his girlfriend broke up with me because she saw my picture. ”

"That is, you don't know if he has a girlfriend when you're with him."

"Yes, I didn't ask, because he didn't ask me either. I had thought about it, but the bold me didn't seem to be asking that kind of question. It's not so much an affair as an adventure, and if it's an adventure, you shouldn't ask that kind of question, should you? ”

"Do you find it exciting?"

"Yes, that feeling is addictive."

"You hesitated when he called?"

She smiled slightly and said, "Yes, I hesitated." I even promised to see him again, I even booked my ticket, but at the last moment, I backed down. I know that once I see him again, I will lose Wang Yan and lose the possibility of a peaceful life in the future. But that seemed to annoy him. ”

"How did he find you?"

"It was my negligence that I told him the flight number when I booked the ticket, and he knew that I was in Hongjiang. Three days after I told him I wasn't going to see him, he called and told me he was in Hongjiang. ”

"Did you meet him?"

"Yes, I met him. I asked him to be at the side of People's Square, I was dressed modestly, with thick glasses and no makeup, and I told him everything very sincerely.

I told him what a simple and low-key person I was in life, and also told him my plans for the future, that I had a stable job, that I had a good fiancé, that I wanted to get married, that I wanted steady happiness.

At first, he had a good attitude, he showed understanding to me, said he respected my choice, and then he left.

To be honest, the moment he left, my feelings were really mixed, like a coming-of-age ceremony, as if I was going to say goodbye to my true self and go a long way towards a kind of disguise. But I convinced myself that people want to live like this, and only this way of living is right. How absurd and ignorant those wanton are, that is wrong.

"I thought he'd be fine after he left, but I was wrong. He began to pestering me, saying that I was his muse of inspiration, saying that he loved me, and even asking me to quit my job to find him. He said I would regret it and told me to face my true self. He kept sending me WeChat, I deleted his WeChat and started calling again.

Although I rejected him over and over again, and even pulled his phone into the blacklist, in the dead of night, I would always chew on his words repeatedly, as if there was a voice in my heart, as if he was telling the truth.

"One night, Wang Yan and I watched a movie, and when we walked through a nightclub on Huaiming Road, the door happened to be opened, and we both saw a girl wearing fishnet socks and pole dancing at the same time. I could hear my heartbroken crying as I was crushed under those ruins.

And Wang Yan, like a Tang monk seeing a female demon, covered his face and pushed me to hurry away, at that moment, how I wished that it was not Wang Yan who was standing next to me, but Prometheus. We could both walk into the bar hand in hand and ask for a few drinks together, and I would raise my lips and smile at the whistles of others. ”

Song Tong's face was full of regret, and this regret was painful. How much I wanted to tell her that everyone has the right to freely choose their way of life, but I can't say it. She was on the verge of being engulfed in entanglement, her heart trembling violently, tradition and rebellion, obedience and challenge, and she was ravaged in both conceptions.

"Half a month ago, he came to Hongjiang again. He got drunk and called me on the bar waiter's cell phone. He said he was going to see me anyway, and he was going to take me away and get out of here.

I didn't see him and got into a fight with him on the phone. I regretted that I shouldn't have told him that I worked at the magazine, hongjiang was so big, he found it all at once.

He started stalking me, harassing me, calling me on different phone numbers. Just now, when I ran out of the hotel, he was leaving in a taxi. He held the car door and smiled at me, a triumphant laugh of bad things. I rushed out at once, but I didn't catch up and the car drove away. I called him and he didn't answer either. ”

"You should call the police."

"I thought about it, but I didn't dare. I want to call the police, I can't hide a relationship with him, I'm afraid my parents will know, and I'm afraid Wang Yan will know. It's something I can't afford. ”

Her tears dripped again. Obviously, she didn't go to my counseling room to do psychological counseling, but she got lost and didn't know what to do.

"Although I have not met Prometheus, I think he is dangerous. On the one hand, he is reluctant to tell you his real name, but on the other hand, he constantly pesters you, and even threatens you in the name of love.

Maybe his real name means something to him, maybe outside the Internet, he's just like you, there's another side, what that side looks like, you don't know anything. ”

Song Tong looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Yeah, we are all interacting with each other in fake identities." We're like two actors. ”

"When the actors have a scene finished, when will your play end?"

"I want it to be over."

"Can you delete that account?"

"I think it will. When those pictures appeared on the big screen tonight, when I watched the familiar faces in the audience gradually distort in front of the photos, their surprise, disdain, and disdain suddenly made me sober. The internet and the real world are separated by a hundred and eighteen thousand miles, right? ”

"It's not all right, it's just that your two images are 108,000 miles apart."

"My mind is very confused, you can walk with me!"

"Okay."

Along the banks of the Red River at night, we walked until three o'clock in the morning. She talked about all kinds of things, the strength of her mother, the obscurity of her youth, and finally, the loneliness of life.

"Perhaps, everyone is lonely. Even with the dazzling aura of a movie star, his heart is lonely. That was her slow conclusion.

"That's what that account taught you."

"Maybe!" She looked at the river, "Marriage, too, is it lonely?" ”

"I'm not married, I can't tell you."

"If I keep that secret hidden, we'll all be alone."

"If you want to be honest with him, you have to be honest with yourself."

She forced out a smile. "Maybe, I don't love him, I just like him. I was used to the relationship with a strong mother, although Wang Yan was not strong, but he had the same conservatism and stubbornness as my mother. ”

"You like him, you just don't want to change. The relationship with your mother, or the idea of that, is where your sense of security lies. ”

"I want to tell him what kind of person I really am. Maybe we should all revisit the relationship. ”

"Perhaps, this is an opportunity."

The next two consultations, Song Tong did not come. I called her and she was very busy looking.

The third time, she finally came, but it was exactly like a different person. She had permed hair and dyed brown, and wore a slim shirt, miniskirt, and stiletto shoes, and the whole person was so beautiful that I could hardly recognize her.

She smiled at me slightly, "You have seen all those pictures, how can you be surprised?" ”

"Because you're prettier than in the pictures."

She sat still and took a sip of water, "I'm here to say goodbye to you." ”

"Where are you going?"

"Shenzhen, go early next month."

"So suddenly?"

"It was sudden, but I was very happy. For the first time in my life, I want to start making decisions for myself, I want to be myself, wear beautiful clothes, put on beautiful makeup, go to bars when I want to go to bars, and take beautiful pictures if I want to take beautiful photos.

I don't want to hide it, and I don't want to care about other people's eyes. I only care about my heart, I want to be happy! As for what will happen in the future, let's talk about it! ”

"I really envy you, and the courage to go out and wander."

"Actually, it's been there for a long time. When I returned from abroad, I didn't want to go back to Hongjiang, but I couldn't stand that my family had already found a job, and I obediently came back, in fact, I have regretted it since then. Now let's start over! ”

"Have you taken care of all those things?"

She nodded, "Actually, there is no standard for good or bad. But, in your words, I'm going to be honest with myself. ”

She lowered her head, her eyes a little lonely, "I showed those pictures to Wang Yan." As he frowned and looked through them, I told him that the pictures were all of me.

He didn't seem to be so surprised, maybe he had heard some gossip! But the contempt at the corners of his mouth was the most difficult for me to accept. I could tell he hated the way I looked. He needed a good wife and mother, but I wasn't. ”

"You broke up?"

"Yes. He had no way to accept me like that, and he had no way to accept being talked about. Compared to his attitude, my colleagues didn't embarrass me as much. Maybe they talked about it behind their backs, but no one laughed at me in person, and a few female colleagues and little girls praised me for being beautiful, not sour, but very sincerely saying that I had courage.

At the age of 29, she successfully went on a blind date, and a group of photos of her mobile phone could be seen, and her fiancé repented on the spot

As for slut-shaming and the like, there may be something behind it, especially some older colleagues leading or something, but I don't care anymore. I'm not even afraid of my mother, will I be afraid of them? Song Tong laughed.

"Does your mother know?"

"Probably not! No one will go to my mother to complain so long-sighted, at least she doesn't know it yet, as for the future, I have already gone to Shenzhen, and I don't care. ”

"Did she accept you to Shenzhen?"

"At first I didn't accept it, I made a fuss for two days, I didn't eat or drink, but I made up my mind, and she also recognized it." My dad is retired, I can spend more time with her, with my dad, she doesn't seem to be as old-fashioned as she was then. ”

"What about Prometheus?"

"I went to see him, didn't accuse him, just told him we couldn't, and let him die of this heart. If he harasses me again, I'm going to call the police. He didn't seem to care, and he didn't feel sorry for hurting me in public.

His triumphant look made me want to go up and slap him twice. He should have left Hongjiang, having not looked for me for at least two weeks. When I went to Shenzhen and changed my mobile phone number, he couldn't find me anymore. ”

"Remember to protect yourself."

"Got it." She smiled, "Now that I think about it, I don't know him at all, and I also regret having that relationship with him." This incident also made me learn a lesson, the illusory space of the Network, really can not easily trust anyone. ”

"What about that account?"

"I deleted it. But I've left all the pictures, and maybe later, I'll show them to my future husband. ”

Before leaving, we hugged each other and I wished her all the best.

Later, I always saw her status in her circle of friends, and she taught Chinese at a training institution. She seems to have gradually found her own style of dress, not introverted, not vulgar and exaggerated.

But every photo, the face is filled with a sincere and confident smile. At least, she no longer had to hide her armpits for the sake of beauty. (Original title: "Female Psychologist's Notes: The Two-Sided Life of a Sexy Girl")

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