Divorce is a last resort, especially for couples who already have children, if you can not divorce, or try not to divorce. Husband and wife are still good for the original match, because the original couple is easier to communicate with each other, and it is simpler for each other.
Many people were young and vigorous when they first married, and after having conflicts with their spouses, they divorced as soon as they gambled. After divorce, when it is time to remarry, it is found that remarriage is difficult, and there are far more problems to face than when you first married. If you don't handle some problems well, you will be unhappy after remarriage, so it is said that the couple is sad halfway.
When they first got married, they were both blank sheets of paper and had no other involvement. But if you remarry, if you had children in the previous marriage, there will be a lot of problems about children after remarriage. If both parties had no children in the previous marriage, remarriage would be much easier and happier.
In fact, the main reason why remarried couples are particularly difficult to get along with is nothing more than children and money, which are two particularly critical and sensitive issues. If these two problems are dealt with well, then remarriage will be very happy.
Because of children and money, remarried couples divorced in just two years
Elin divorced because her ex-husband cheated on her marriage, and at the time of divorce, the ex-husband felt sorry for Elin, so he gave the marriage room at the time of marriage to Elin. Irene lives in this house with her 5-year-old son, and mother and son rely on each other for their lives.
A year after the divorce, Yilin met Liang Zhi. Liang Zhi, like her, is divorced and carries a 6-year-old son. The two have a lot of similarities, so they especially have a common language, and they have a feeling of seeing each other and hating each other.
After more than half a year of dating, Yilin and Liang Zhi got married with a license, and they thought they would be happy. But after getting married, the life is not as imagined, and they find that the life after remarriage is much more difficult than the first marriage.
After remarrying, Yilin and her son moved to Liang Zhi's house and rented out the original house so that they could have a rental income. Liang Zhi felt that this rent should be taken out to supplement the family, but Yilin felt that this was the rent obtained from the rental of her house, and she wanted to save it and give it to her son in the future.
So because of this rental income, the two people often have conflicts, and they are very uncomfortable with each other.
The two children are the same age and both boys, so they often quarrel over grabbing the same toy, and sometimes fight. Yilin felt that adults should treat the two children equally, which was also what she and Liang Zhi said when they got married, and they regarded each other's children as their own.
But the mother-in-law always protects her grandson, and always gives good things to her grandson, unless her grandson does not want it, she will give it to Elin's son. In this way, Elin's son was naturally wronged. He was originally a lively and cheerful child, but now he has become cautious and does not like to talk.
Yilin was very distressed about his son, so he asked Liang Zhi to talk about his mother-in-law and let the mother-in-law treat the two children equally. Liang Zhi verbally agreed, but in action completely acquiesced to his mother-in-law's behavior, so Yilin was very angry. Later, when the mother-in-law protected her grandson, Yilin also protected her son, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled.
The direct consequence of the quarrel between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the quarrel between husband and wife, and Liang Zhi believes that Yilin should not protect the child, which will cause family discord. However, Yilin felt that Liang Zhi's so-called family harmony was at the cost of her son being wronged, and she as a mother could not ignore the feelings of her children.
After two years of remarriage, Liang Zhi wanted to buy a house, of course, with the common income of the couple, and borrowed some more. Elin did not have an opinion, the couple raised two sons, and they will definitely marry them in the future, of course, they must prepare the house.
But when buying a house, Liang Zhi actually wanted to write his parents' names on the property deed, and Of course, Yilin did not agree, what does this mean? Yilin paid for the house, but the house belonged to the in-laws, Liang Zhi did this, obviously to prevent Yilin, so Yilin and Liang Zhi had a big fight.
After this fight, Yilin filed for divorce, and at first Liang Zhi did not agree to the divorce and wanted to coax Yilin. But Yilin is not a little girl, since marrying into the Liang Zhi family, all kinds of unsatisfactory things have made her very disappointed in remarriage. Now when it comes to houses, buying a house is not a little money, and she certainly won't give in.
In the end, at the insistence of Yilin, she and Liang Zhi divorced. The remarriage was only two years, and it ended in divorce, and both husband and wife were very sorry and helpless.
If you want to remarry, both parties must first discuss the issue of children
When Yilin and Liang Zhi remarried, they also discussed the issue of children, but this discussion was just a sentence of "treating each other's children as their own." How can you see yourself as yourself? The two sides did not agree on anything.
Sometimes it's easy to say, but it's hard to do. Human nature is to protect the child, because it is its own child, it will be particularly loving, and it will do whatever it takes for the child. This is the wonder of blood relations, even if their children have great deficiencies, they will feel that their children are good.
It is not easy for remarried couples to treat someone else's children as their own. If there is no big conflict of interest, it is not a big problem, but if there is a conflict of interest, at a critical moment, etc., people's nature will be exposed, and they will unconsciously favor their children.
If you don't have children, you may be able to treat other people's children as your own. But when you have children yourself, and your own children come into conflict with someone else's children, it's hard to deal with. Besides, even if you really regard your stepson and stepdaughter as your own, your stepson and stepdaughter may not accept your stepfather and stepmother.
Therefore, it is not only a sentence to treat oneself, but also to be implemented, and to discuss the details. After marriage, according to these consultations, each other abide by the agreement, and remarry life is likely to be happy.
If you want to remarry, the two parties should discuss the issue of money
Both Yilin and Liang Zhi have selfish intentions on the issue of money. Elin is reluctant to take out the rent and wants to leave it to her children in the future, which is also a mother's heart. But for their remarried family, if Liang Zhi accepts it, it is no problem, but if Liang Zhi does not accept it, the husband and wife will quarrel.
From Liang Zhi's standpoint, his ideas are also reasonable. You live in my house and rent out your house, but you want the rent yourself. So why can't I live in your house, my house is rented out, and I want the rent myself?
Later, when Liang Zhi wanted to buy a house, since the husband and wife jointly paid for the house, of course, the names of the husband and wife should be written on the real estate deed, how could the names of Liang Zhi's parents be written? Liang Zhi's approach in this way is to turn the joint property of the husband and wife into the property of his own parents, and to blatantly transfer the joint property of the husband and wife.
Yilin did not agree to Liang Zhi's approach, which was very correct, only a stupid woman would agree. In the marriage of Yilin and Liang Zhi, there were too many contradictions and calculations, so in the end the couple divorced.
Therefore, if you want to remarry, you must discuss it early in terms of property, and you must first be a villain and then a gentleman. When you don't fall in love, just talk about love, don't talk about money. After remarrying, and only talking about money and not talking about love, the marriage will certainly not be happy.
In short, if you want to remarry, you must first deal with the problems of children and money. The two sides must negotiate well, the more detailed the better, we must first be a villain and then a gentleman. If the discussion is not satisfactory, then instead of remarrying and then divorcing, it is better not to get married again!
When it comes to marriage, if you've already failed once, learn the lesson and don't fall twice in the same place. Divorce is a nerve-wracking thing, less than a last resort, do not divorce easily, the negative impact of divorce is far greater than the positive impact.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.