Third-rate parents work as nannies
Most parents in China, first and foremost, are their children's nannies.
They work hard, put their main energy into the child's dietary nutrition, health care and other aspects of life care, to meet the realization of children's needs in diet, health, clothing, toys, supplies, entertainment and other aspects, these behaviors constitute a very important content of "family education".
Under their own careful care, the child eats well and wears warmly, looks loving, clean and refreshing, and of course, the body is also strong and strong.
If the children in the family are mainly cared for by the elderly, the probability of this situation is greater. Generations away seem to be more willing to contribute to the level of life care.
In this way, the function of "nurturing" children has gradually become simple raising, and the function of "nurturing" has been weakened in endless care.
If parents insist on being their children's nannies, when the children grow up, parents suddenly find that their children are very different from other people's children one day, and it is difficult to make up for this gap by blame, criticism, and accusation.
So they can only think heavily that their children are "born" worse than others. It seems that everything is irretrievable, difficult to remedy, and can only maintain the status quo.
This kind of nanny parents always lack long-term, systematic and comprehensive planning for their children's growth.
A child who grows up in such a family, if he himself does not have the consciousness to get rid of, is very easy to be mediocre for a lifetime.
Second-rate parents act as coaches
Second-rate parents are their children's coaches. They will use all kinds of means, at all costs, to force children to learn various skills and make children more excellent.
Under such an educational concept, countless tiger mothers and wolf fathers were born.
"Every day I am scolded, my children enter Peking University", which is the declaration of "Chinese-style wolf father". He insisted on "educating his children with the most traditional and primitive ancient methods", and often had rattan and feather dusters at home, so that children could memorize the "Three Character Classic" and "Disciple Rules" from an early age, and if they could not recite them, they would beat people.
"Wolf Daddy" does not allow children to watch TELEVISION, is not allowed to surf the Internet freely, and is not allowed to turn on air conditioning at will; he said, children are the people, parents are the masters; playing is a culture. He "beat three children into Peking University."
Wolf Dad would say, "I may have been misunderstood by everyone... Fighting is only an auxiliary means. Before fighting, we must clearly explain the reason, how to do it is right, how to do it is wrong, and how to fight how it is wrong.
In fact, it is not important to teach children what way, what is important is to let children accept good rules, form good habits, and set good goals, which is fundamental.
Time will prove that the coaching style of "scolding every day, children enter Peking University", although children seem to have gained more skills than their peers and entered better universities. But it is easy to distort the nature of children, so that children's personality becomes distorted and extreme.
Receiving such a coaching education, children often have to bear great pressure, which can easily lead to mental collapse.
What do top-notch parents do?
1. First-class parents see things from their children's perspective.
Once a mother took her child to the mall, she thought that the child would like this lively place, but contrary to what she thought, the child was not happy at all in the mall, and even a little scared, clamoring to go out.
Mothers don't understand, how can children who have always liked to play reject beautiful and lively shopping malls?
But when she squatted down to ask the child why, she understood that from the child's point of view, only the legs of people and some high cabinets could be seen, which were not pleasing to the eye at all, but made people very uncomfortable, and at the height of adults, they could not see these.
When getting along with children, parents should crouch down, stand in the child's perspective to see the world, and grasp the child's auditory, visual and comprehension characteristics.
Many parents will interact with children from the perspective of adults, indirectly or directly arrange or even command children how to do, how to play, and what to play.
In fact, a child is a child, and the height of his body and mind has yet to grow, if he stands in the position of an adult, it is difficult to understand the child's joys and sorrows.
Crouch down, you can enter the child's world, know what to see at his height, in order to communicate and communicate effectively with the child.
2. First-class parents teach their children to manage time.
Why do some children have poor academic performance and some children have good academic performance? Many parents, and even some teachers, will say that there are high and low IQ, and the effort is different!
But many people tend to overlook the fact that what really determines a child's academic performance is not IQ, but the child's management of time.
This is why some people try to make up classes, stay up late, and eventually can't learn from other students. Because he didn't have the knack for time management.
3. First-class parents teach their children to think independently.
Someone has seen a joke like this:
At an international school, a teacher posed a question to students from all over the world: "Has anyone ever thought about the food shortage in other countries in the world?" ”
Students say "I don't know."
African students do not know what "food" is; European students do not know what "shortage" is; American students do not know what "other countries" are; Chinese students do not know what "thinking" is.
This "joke" that makes people laugh is indeed thought-provoking.
In real life, some parents arrange everything very properly and thoughtfully, and they have never thought of what it is that needs to be considered, thought of, solved, and handled by the children themselves.
When children encounter difficulties, parents often help their children solve the difficulties without thinking. Slowly, when children encounter difficulties again, they are not willing to think and rely on the help of their parents.
In the long run, it will kill the child's ability to think, let alone solve problems.
Today, we are already in the "information age" and the "knowledge explosion" era, which objectively challenges everyone's ability to think.
The more children have the ability to think, the stronger the desire to learn, the stronger the ability to learn for life, and the stronger the creativity. This ability enables him to keep pace with the times and is welcomed by society.
For different children, parents can take advantage of the specific problems that occur in life, providing opportunities for children to learn to think independently, face problems on their own, and come up with ways to solve problems.