Text/Xiaohe
Are there such people around you:
No matter where you go, you don't like to be in a group, go to the canteen alone to eat, watch a movie alone, go shopping alone, and even participate in group activities, and you are also quietly staying in a corner alone.
Most of them are reticent and never take the initiative to say hello to people. Even if someone comes to talk to them, they only give a symbolic response, a look of "words do not speculate more than half a sentence".
Introverted, withdrawn, cold, unsociable, maverick, becomes a label attached to them.
In modern society, although people's cognition is more diverse, more inclusive, and even good at being alone and enjoying loneliness, it has become the target realm pursued by some industry elites or those who pursue a refined life.
But for most ordinary people, it is not a good thing to like to be alone.
Aristotle famously said, "The sorcerer is either a beast or a god." ”
The implication is that people are social animals, born unsuitable for living alone, and living in groups is the best way to live.
Psychologists have done this test:
Paid by the hour, 2 people were openly recruited, and they were allowed to stay in a small isolated room, not allowed to read books and newspapers, not allowed to answer phone calls, not allowed to write letters, and even more forbidden to allow others to enter, to see how long they could persist.
As a result, one person only stayed for two hours and couldn't help but run out; another person insisted on eight days, and when he came out, he breathed a long sigh of relief and said, "If I stay one more minute, I'm going to go crazy!" ”
Similarly, it was once proposed: "If you can live in an isolated room for a lifetime, this person will be rewarded with tens of billions." ”
The result is also that no one responds.
It can be seen that what people cannot bear most is loneliness, and no one wants to be lonely and old.
In real life, when a person begins to like to be alone, there must be a reason.
People who like to be alone are either extremely inferior or too arrogant
Among the people who like to be alone, only a few people really know how to be alone and like to be alone.
More often, what is visible is to be alone, and what is invisible is the inferiority or conceit of the heart.
From a psychological point of view, people who like to be alone are nothing more than two situations: one is extremely inferior, and the other is too arrogant.
People with low self-esteem, lack of security in their hearts, always feel inferior, afraid that others will look down on themselves, and are afraid of trouble with others, so they prefer to be alone to cover up their own lack of confidence, nervousness, shyness or cramped uneasiness.
See a story like this:
A sunshine boy born in the countryside left a long scar on his face due to an accidental burn. Since then, physical defects have plunged him into the quagmire of inferiority.
Even if he is admitted to the university of his choice, he is still taciturn and alone, immersed in his own world all day. Until a joke from his roommate completely broke his fragile heart.
Later, with the encouragement and help of his dormitory classmates, counselors and psychological teachers, he came out of the shadow of inferiority, accepted his imperfect self, bravely integrated into the collective family, and found a happy self.
On the contrary, the arrogant person is full of superiority in his heart, always feels that he is superior to others, disdains to argue with others, and his external manifestation is indifference, arrogance, and even no one in sight.
As everyone knows, how you treat others, others will treat you.
Arrogant people are easily disliked or alienated by others, resulting in walls in work and life, and it is difficult to move forward.
The talented Steve Jobs, who made great achievements for Apple, was arrogant, looked down on his employees, was on top, alone, and not good at cooperation, and was eventually relieved of all his leadership in the company.
If you want to truly be proud of the workplace, you must say goodbye to being alone.
Most of the people who like to be alone are lonely and seem out of place
A netizen who is accustomed to being alone and claiming that he has "not had a friend for nearly ten years" left a message on a Q&A saying that his personality is becoming more and more withdrawn, depressed all day, feeling that life is meaningless, and falling into a dead cycle.
Psychologists believe that people with a lonely personality have a sense of alienation, which is difficult to integrate into society, and it is difficult for others to establish relationships with them. This led to his even greater unsociability and the choice to go it alone.
The long-term solitude directly leads to the lack of time with others, the loss of opportunities to communicate, learn and grow with others, and the ability to communicate with others is gradually lost.
Over time, the more afraid of interacting with people, coupled with the lack of empathy, the personality will become more withdrawn.
People with a withdrawn personality and who are incompatible with others and society may not feel the pain of being isolated when they are young, but in their later years, especially in the case of living and living without being able to take care of themselves, you can try to imagine:
How desolate it should be to live alone and unaccompanied in old age!
Studies have shown that loneliness, as an autistic and unsociable personality, not only hinders the establishment of harmonious interpersonal relationships, but also is not conducive to physical and mental health.
Working with positive, optimistic, cheerful people, taking the initiative to make close friends who soothe the soul, and making yourself happy day by day is a good way to improve the isolated personality and cultivate happy thinking.
We live in a world where there is more than one person, but all sorts of relationships are intertwined.
In a sense, relationships change lives, and circles determine success or failure.
The law of two eight tells us that if a person wants to succeed in life and career, 20% depends on his own knowledge and skills, and 80% depends on good interpersonal relationships and ability to deal with the world.
We do not deny that being born as a human being requires time alone and enjoying the tranquility of being alone; nor does we rule out that people who are good at being alone also have strong social skills and good connections.
It's just a reminder to those who like to be alone, sometimes, when a person becomes like to be alone, it's not a good thing.
When you start to like to be alone, be sure to clarify the reasons for this.
We might as well check ourselves from time to time:
If you like to be alone, it is due to extreme inferiority or too conceit, or feel that you are lonely and incompatible with the people or things around you, which leads to tension in interpersonal relationships and frustration in doing things;
Then, you must take the initiative to seek help and actively create a positive social circle for yourself.
The best state is to interact with people appropriately, and to appropriately leave time and space for yourself to be alone.
A happy life requires the leisure of being alone, and it also needs to be accompanied by love and being loved.
Today's Topic:
Are you a person who likes to be alone?
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