Recently, the domestic epidemic has begun to repeat itself, coupled with the previous double reduction and the upcoming annual shutdown, adults are experiencing various things, children are also experiencing various changes, if not handled well, children are likely to use lies to cope with some things. Before we begin, let's tell you a story
One day, Dad was cleaning up the room, and suddenly found a stain on the sofa, so he asked Xiao Er: Did you get a stain on the sofa?
The little grain said, "No, no, I didn't make it, the stain was there!"
Dad said angrily: Are you making a fool of me? I saw you just sitting here eating chocolate
Xiao Er also blushed and said: I didn't already tell you, I didn't get it!
Dad was annoyed and angry: You really don't take me seriously, don't you, so young lied to me! You give me over and get down on your knees and admit your mistake
When confronted with a child's lying behavior, parents will immediately feel that the child is targeting us, as if the child is lying is an insult to us, but in fact, many times, the child lies because he is afraid of disappointing his parents or afraid of being blamed by his parents. Therefore, we must understand the psychological logic of children.
He may lie for two possible reasons:
1. Out of fear (fear of other people's evaluations, punishments, or disappointment to adults)
2. To get something (such as to be appreciated; Escape from a situation; Self-protection; Protect your privacy)
Knowing the reason, what should we do when confronted with a child's lying?
1. We have to face our emotions first. For example, disappointment (I shouldn't trust him), anger (does he not take me seriously), fear (Oh, my god, my child lied to me as a liar), surprise (where did he learn this), parents need to take responsibility for their emotions.
2. Listen to the real needs behind your child's lying, for example, if your mom is curious as to why you would say that, can you tell me more? Wait a minute
3. Avoid labeling your child during communication. Children are very sensitive to the evaluation of others, and they have strong self-esteem, so they will turn their parents' accusations against them into evaluations of themselves as a person.
4. Reduce the punishment for children. We need to slowly learn how to solve problems without punishing children. The fewer times we punish, the more dare the child is to face himself and us truthfully.
So, when you find out that your child has made a mistake, how can you make your child stop lying?
1. Listen to the real needs behind your child's mistakes, and tell your child that anyone can make mistakes, such as knocking things over, soiling the couch, etc.
2. Assist your child to find a solution. Work with your child to figure out how to remedy it, such as the one mentioned earlier, to remove stains.
What do you think of that? If it's you, how do you fix it?