At present, most families are dual-time workers, in this case, the elderly usually have to help with the baby, otherwise if you spend money to hire a babysitter, it is equivalent to another expense, and it is not cheap to hire a nanny at the moment, and some wages are even higher than the salary of one of the spouses.
Therefore, the elderly help to bring the baby has become a more common thing at present. However, many elderly people are now asked not only to help their daughters-in-law with their children, but also to ask their parents to help with their babies, which is equivalent to some elderly people helping to bring two or three children, or even more. But some old people's bodies simply can't cope with it, at most they can only take one, and no more will not be able to eat, which has become a dilemma, it seems that both sides are not easy to refuse, and they are distressed about who to help with the baby?
01 The daughter and daughter-in-law both asked to take the baby, and the old man should all go down, and finally fell ill
Aunt Liu should have enjoyed happiness after retirement, but this good day did not last long, the daughter-in-law and daughter sent the child to her home, at first Aunt Liu also felt very happy, after all, the original family is still relatively deserted, now there are more children, naturally it is lively, but the good times did not last long, Aunt Liu found that this life does not seem to be the old age life she wants.
A child three years old, a four-year-old, are very noisy age, plus such a big child will not understand the hardships of the elderly, love to play and love to toss is also the nature of children, two children every day to make a mess of the family, but also like to quarrel, and even sometimes fight.
Not only that, the two children are clamoring to go out to play every day, unwilling to stay at home, Aunt Liu can only take them everywhere to visit the door, each time can't sit still for ten minutes to change to play elsewhere, running behind the ass of the two little ones. The little guys are tired of playing and want the old man to hug, one asks to hug, if you don't hold the other, you have to make a fuss for half a day, and finally you can only take turns to hug, and it doesn't take long to toss the old man out of the waist injury, and he also fell ill.
The two children were not taken with them, they could only be taken home, the daughter was concerned about her own mother, and she had been taking care of her, and she blamed herself even more, and decided not to tire the old man in the future, but the daughter-in-law cared more about her children no one to take, complaining about how the old man fell ill at this critical time.
Aunt Liu's illness is more than a month, the whole person lost a lot of weight, when the old man was well, the daughter-in-law again asked to send the child, this time was rejected by the old man, and the daughter-in-law was even more disappointed.
02 Daughters and daughters-in-law, who does the old man want to help with the baby?
Many old people will fall into such a dilemma, one side is their own grandson, the other is the grandson, the so-called palms and backs of the hands are meat, how to choose is not appropriate, but they can not cope with the two, then some people will suggest not to help bring grandchildren, after all, is a foreign surname, after the grandson grows up may not remember this love, to help bring grandchildren is actually a thankless thing.
This is not the case, because both grandchildren and grandchildren are related to themselves. But one thing needs to be noted, if the child's parents, as well as the child itself do not know how to be grateful, then the elderly really do not need to help with the baby, which is indeed a thankless thing.
It doesn't matter whether it's a grandson or a grandson, as long as their parents don't know how to thank the old man for their efforts, and they don't know how to filial piety to the old man, then the old man should not help bring it. Some parents who do not know how to be grateful even think that if the old people do not help with the baby, they will not fulfill their responsibilities, and they will blame the old people, and they also threaten not to give the elderly pension in the future, as a "threat", in fact, this practice is very immoral.
Because the elderly have raised their sons and daughters with hard work, and even more to help them start a family, their mission as parents has been completed, and they should also have their own old age. At this time, adding new responsibilities to them, their help is only a sentiment, not an obligation.
03 What should I do as a child?
Whether as a daughter or as a daughter-in-law, before asking the elderly to help with the baby, we must first ask the meaning of the elderly to see if the elderly are willing to help, rather than forcibly asking the elderly for help, or threatening the old-age pension as a condition.
More importantly, it is necessary to take into account the physical conditions of the elderly, if the elderly are not in good health, do not give the elderly more burdens, so that the elderly can enjoy the blessings in their old age, otherwise it may make the elderly's health worse, or even directly tired.
Finally, it should also be noted that if the parenting style of the elderly does not meet your expectations, do not blame and criticize the elderly, after all, the parenting concepts of each generation are different, if you have ideas, you can communicate with the elderly, I believe that the elderly will also cooperate with you, because the common purpose of everyone is to make children grow better.