Illuminate yourself, illuminate others, and the education of love is the future
On December 31, at a primary school in Beijing's Chaoyang District, two teachers publicly criticized a first-grade girl, to tell the truth, as parents, it was very painful to see the little girl's helplessness.
And did the little girl really do something that people were indignant about?
I can probably guess a little from the teacher's scattered words.
Because there was a video of the New Year's Day performance, the little girl sitting in the crowd was right in front of the camera, so the frequent turn of the head and the movement of other students covering their ears during the performance were recorded.
In the full video, in fact, the little girl sitting in the front row is not only the little girl covering her ears, but the other students happen to be not in the video.
So in the face of the teacher's harsh accusations, the little girl was very dazed at first, staring at the fingers pointed by the teacher, not saying a word, just obediently sitting better, but the teacher did not let her go.
But I think what is more serious than the criticism is that the teacher also mobilized the classmates to exclude the little girl.
Under the guidance of the teacher, the equally ignorant classmates around the little girl echoed the teacher's saying that "the little girl is not polite" and cooperated with the teacher to let the little girl "hurry out".
Of course, afterwards, because of this video, the teacher involved was suspended, and the little girl will also receive psychological counseling from a professional institution.
But without the video, what would happen to the little girl?
01 What will happen to children who encounter school bullying when they become adults
In the hit drama "Female Psychologist" some time ago, Mo Yu's story is an adult version of campus bullying.
Horton, a female psychologist played by Yang Zi, one of the visitors, Mo Yu, was bullied in school because of his childhood, and then encountered workplace bullying after he entered the workplace as an adult.
Although the story is set in the workplace in "Female Psychologist", a relationship model in life will also be a relationship model in all aspects.
Therefore, in the limited plot, Mo Yu has no friends in life, faces the problems of life, and does not talk to his parents, he regards the relationship between colleagues in the workplace as very important, extremely flattering, and dare not refuse.
But the result is that he is not only in the workplace, but also with everyone he meets in life, and he cannot get along properly. Even in life, in the face of the barber's obvious unreasonableness, card applications that exceed his ability to bear in life can not be rejected.
But to be recognized in a way that pleases others will only end up empty. Extreme repression leads to extreme resistance.
So in the end, because of the stimulation of the drug, Mo Yu even did something violent and hurtful.
The reason is only that when he was a child, after he encountered school bullying at a young age, his parents and teachers were indifferent to his help, and the acquiescence of adults was even more harmful to the child itself.
But in fact, the little girl in the video is actually hurt even more.
Mo Yu's encounter only came from his peers, while the bullying of the little girl came from the teacher. Because whether it is our time or now, for children, teachers are even more authoritative and trustworthy than parents.
If there is no proper guidance in the follow-up, will this little girl be afraid of school, hate learning, and be afraid of socializing with others from now on?
02 No, you're not thanking the teacher who criticized you
In the comment area, some netizens also said: This is very normal, the teacher is also for the child's good, the child should receive "frustration education" as soon as possible. When I grew up, I was very grateful to the teachers who were strict with me when I was a child.
No, it's not really that we're thanking the teachers who criticize us, it's just thanking ourselves for not giving up in the face of criticism and mistakes.
So it is fortunate that after facing the criticism of their daughter, the parents of the little girl did not choose to swallow their anger, but actively stood up to help the child.
Of course, as someone in the comments section said was worried.
Many times as parents, why do we want to calm things down. It is because of the fear that once the teacher thinks that as the parent of the child, you are a "bad trouble" person, the child may be more unpopular with the teacher at school.
But heart to heart, if I were that little girl, in the face of the teacher's unreasonable demands, or even public bullying, if my parents can stand up and support themselves in the right way, then I will definitely feel great comfort.
Because at least there are people in this world who can see the fear in my heart and even dare to resist the pressure to support my weak self.
And parents, as adults, we will definitely have more choices than children.
In fact, in the same way, as adults, especially as teachers, we have better choices in the face of children's mistakes.
03 Respect is more effective than criticism
The famous educator Tao Xingzhi has a famous story of 4 candies.
Tao Xingzhi, as the principal, once passed by the school, found a little boy with a stone to hit other classmates, very dangerous, after stopping the child, notified him to come to the office at 3 p.m. to find him.
The little boy spent the morning in tangled fears. So in the afternoon, the little boy came to the door of Principal Tao's office very early to wait for him.
After Tao Xingzhi arrived at the office on time, he did not blame the child for the first time, but gave the child 1 candy, and thanked him at the same time: This sugar is thank you, you are very trustworthy, not only did not arrive late but also arrived early.
Then, Tao Xingzhi took out another piece of sugar and continued: The second candy is also thanks to you, I asked you to stop it, you immediately stopped, indicating that you are a good child who respects people.
Unexpectedly, Tao Xingzhi took out the 3rd candy and said to the child: I learned that you used a stone to smash that classmate because he bullied the girl, and you have a great sense of justice, so this one is also for you.
At this time, the child's previous uneasiness disappeared, and he said guiltily: Principal, I did something wrong, my classmates are no longer right, and I should not treat him in this way.
Unexpectedly, Tao Xingzhi took out the 4th candy and said: Knowing mistakes can be changed, it is good. My candy is over, our conversation is over, you can go back.
This is the story of Tao Xingzhi's 4 sugars, and there is not a single word of criticism in the whole process.
I believe that this story must not only inspire this child, but also inspire many people who read this story for a long time.
Therefore, education must be premised on respect.
Whether as teachers or parents, if we are really for the good of our children, then we must have a better way than to criticize.