Illuminate yourself, illuminate others, and the education of love is the future
1895 days, 696,000 yuan.
On January 10, 2022, the law pronounced a judgment on Liu Nuanxi (formerly known as Liu Xin) for violating Jiang Ge's right to life dispute, and compensated Jiang Mu 696,000 yuan.
Jiang Mu persisted for 5 years and finally got what she wanted.
As netizens lamented, the significance of the victory in this case itself is not actually how much compensation is, but the law finally admits that Liu Nuanxi is wrong.
In fact, the more tearful thing is this description on the verdict:
As a female student studying in a foreign country, Jiang Ge gave sincere care and assistance to compatriots who were deeply in difficulty, and lost her life because of the illegal infringement, and her selfless behavior of helping others embodied the traditional virtues of the Chinese nation, which was in line with the core values of socialism and public order and good customs, and should be praised, and she should be legally remedied for her unlawful infringement.
At least the law has feelings, and it will never live up to the goodness.
But from Jiang Mu's standpoint, this is still a tragedy, because Jiang Ge can't come back.
As a mother of a child, I wonder how we can protect the kindness of our children and keep the kindness from being betrayed. This is actually a kind of ability that needs to be cultivated.
01 The bottom line of kindness, learn to protect yourself
In Mr. Dada's "Family Education Reading Club", there is a father who is very worried about his child, because the child is always bullied by a little friend in the community, but he will only stand there stupidly.
He went to the other parent to theorize, and the other parent would only say that it was all a matter between the children, and they couldn't control it, and there was no effect.
So Dad tells his children many times that you have to learn to judge the situation by yourself, don't stand still, and fight back. But the child is still bullied.
For similar topics, children are bullied, whether to fight back, has always been very controversial. Fight back, the child is not measured, the situation may be more serious, and more importantly, everyone wants their child to be a kind person.
For a small child, the easiest thing to do is to tell him to leave the person who bullied him. That's enough.
This is actually based on 2 points:
First, the child's cognition is not enough for him to judge the complex situation, but when he sees it, he leaves, and this command is easier to judge;
The second is more important, we choose the bottom line of kindness, we must first learn to protect ourselves.
As reminded in the aircraft safety instructions, we must first protect ourselves before we can help the people around us.
Man is human precisely because of that brilliance in human nature. There's nothing wrong with being kind, and there's nothing wrong with helping others, but kindness has a bottom line, and you have to learn to protect yourself first.
02 Kindness is a choice, do something and do something
Human nature is complex, and for everyone, kindness is actually a choice.
In the hit drama "Female Psychologist" some time ago, Horton, played by Yang Zi, one of the counselors, Mo Yu, is a person who has been bullied in school since childhood.
Later, after becoming an adult, Mo Yu unfortunately entered a company full of workplace PUA, was squeezed by various kinds, encountered serious workplace bullying, and produced a lot of psychological problems.
Does Mo Yu know that he has been bullied? He must have known, so he would find a professional counselor, and because he felt uncomfortable in the workplace.
Mo Yu in the play is kind, it is simply too kind, colleagues have problems he helps, never refuses. But we must face up to our inner discomfort and learn to tell ourselves that we can choose.
Kindness is not an excuse for someone else to mentally kidnap you. Learning to reject moderately is actually an inevitable choice for our goodness.
Therefore, in the face of the plight of others, we need to use the wisdom of kindness, adhere to the bottom line, and do something and do nothing.
We need to know ourselves, and wishful goodness cannot be sustained in the end.
03 Kindness requires the ability to judge one's self-worth independently
Kindness is nature, but it is more of a value judgment.
Therefore, how to be kind, in addition to the guidance of parents at the behavioral level, needs to help children establish the ability to independently judge their own value.
Teacher Dada said in the "Family Education Reading Association" that to judge self-worth independently, the first thing is to understand yourself.
There is a Western proverb: The ignorant are not qualified to do good.
Ignorance does not refer only to knowledge, but also to an objective judgment of one's own abilities.
Every summer vacation I see a lot of news of children drowning. One of the most painful points is that many times, it is 1 child who accidentally falls into the water, and other children will blindly go to the rescue, which eventually leads to a series of tragedies.
Human nature is inherently good, and the lives of others are as important as ours, but the premise must be that we have the ability to rescue. If you don't have the ability to help others, learn to turn to the outside world for help.
And only when a person has an objective judgment of his own ability can he make a rational decision in a moment of crisis, not just by blood.
As a parent, to let children judge their own abilities is actually to dare to let children try in a safe situation.
There is a story that when a girl became an adult, her father actually took her to drink and let her drink with confidence.
After the girl woke up, her father told her that your alcohol intake is only 4 bottles, and if you want to go out to drink later, then 2 bottles are almost the same.
And the more children know their own abilities and their own strengths and weaknesses, the more they can actually make rational choices.
The same is true for helping others.
04 Kindness requires the ability to face challenges alone
Scientists in Sweden and Norway did an experiment on salmon.
In the experiment, scientists divided the salmon into three groups: the first group of small salmon and cod coexisted, and the cod would eat the small salmon; the second group, although there were cod, was separated by a transparent net, but the small salmon could feel how the cod swam; the third group only had small salmon.
The final experimental results showed that the 1st and 2nd groups of salmon were smarter and even evolved a herding strategy to deal with danger;
The small salmon in the third group often overreact or react improperly in the face of danger, and are easy to be sluggish or even panicking.
In fact, to a certain extent, humans and small salmon are the same.
No one can exist alone, and our world is not without danger.
Parents cannot stay with their children forever, so blind protection and putting children in a zero-risk environment will actually stifle children's ability to resist risks and face challenges.
When our children are able to make independent choices based on judgments about their self-worth, moderate participation in the group is appropriate.
Let children learn in society, feel the complexity of human nature, and help others to make more objective judgments.
Every child is unique to their parents, that is, we hope that the child can be kind, but we hope that the child's kindness has strength, and at the same time protecting themselves, they can better protect others.
The pronouncement of the law is a consolation for goodness, and as parents, we hope that the tragedy will not repeat itself.
Without the suffering of others, do not persuade others to be kind, and the suffering of Jiang Ge's mother, we cannot empathize, but we hope that she will be safe for the rest of her life.
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