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Children are the hope of a family's continuation, and sometimes the hope of a family or even a family; in the same way, for the individual, the existence of the family and its parents is both the beginning of a life and the foundation of the subsequent direction of life, and the relationship between the original family and the individual is interdependent.
However, there are many factors in this relationship, not all native families can bring a good life to individuals, especially with people's understanding of psychology-related knowledge, the unit of the original family has gradually become a highly controversial concept in today's society.
In today's society, there are many problems related to the original family.
The current situation of "stay-at-home mothers" after 95
Since the family exists, parents tend to have different family roles and divisions of labor, and in general, the father/husband in the family will assume most of the responsibility for economic income, that is, through his own efforts to bring a good material standard of living for his wife and children.
On the one hand, the mother/wife will help the husband to share the financial pressure, and on the other hand, she will also take greater responsibility for the education of the children and the emotional education.
For example, there was a saying called "stay-at-home mother" in the previous society, which meant that the wife in the family simply stopped working after giving birth, but spent all her energy on housework and raising children.
There are good and bad situations like this. On the bright side, children are often able to obtain better growth space under the special support of their mothers.
On the one hand, if the mother stays away from the workplace for a long time, on the one hand, she may be somewhat disconnected from society, on the other hand, it may cause some family conflicts: after all, the two have uneven incomes, and there are many places where there are many needs to spend in life.
However, the latest statistics show that there are more and more stay-at-home mothers in our country today, and the proportion of stay-at-home mothers among all mothers is currently 61%.
Among them, the proportion of young mothers after 95 can reach 82% of these stay-at-home mothers, and in general, more than 20% of "post-95" mothers have decided to say goodbye to the workplace.
In another street survey, data showed that 41 percent would like to be a stay-at-home mom and 34 percent wouldn't. Among urban women aged 18-40, 32 per cent are currently unemployed, and 98 per cent of these people are caring for children.
So from the above data, we can roughly know that the number of women who want to become full-time mothers is already relatively large, and among these respondents, there will even be a very young generation of "post-95s".
At an age when they should have struggled in the workplace, they resolutely chose to say goodbye to work and work full-time as full-time mothers at home, will this lead to some questions?
Causes and problems
We may wish to look at these "95" mothers to analyze their living conditions and parenting concepts from a practical perspective.
1. Work intensity and benefits
First of all, even if you choose employment, for most of today's "post-95s", this generation is generally out of school not long ago, if you have already had children at this age, then you are relatively unopposed in terms of employment.
In general, the intensity of the work itself is relatively large, and the income that matches the greater work intensity is not too high.
Relevant data show that the average income of this generation is about 6,000 yuan / if it is in some provincial capitals or large cities, then want to live a better life, especially considering the cost of childcare, such an income level is obviously not very high.
And a large number of "post-95" income is obtained through insurance, sales and takeaway food delivery industry, with the November 2021 data as a reference, the post-95 and post-00 practitioners accounted for 22.42% and 24.15% respectively, accounting for almost half of the overall practitioners in the catering industry.
Secondly, they who already have children often can't withstand the pressure of high-intensity work, so some women simply give up employment and choose to take children at home.
2. Lack of help from the previous generation
In traditional Chinese culture, the work of raising offspring has always maintained a continuity, not just "a generation of children and a generation of people", often with the help of the elderly in the family or relatives of the same generation, such a situation until the end of the last century, the beginning of this century.
However, the "post-95" generation is often greatly affected by the "one-child policy", and there is often only one child in the family, so it is obviously unrealistic to rely on brothers and sisters to help them raise their children.
Moreover, this generation has become parents at this age, so their parents are often young, not yet of retirement age, still have work to do, and do not have enough time and energy to help them take care of their children.
As a result, this situation has also led to the creation of many stay-at-home mothers. On the one hand, this aspect tells us a message that more and more young people have become parents, and the population problems of our country can be alleviated to some extent.
But this also puts forward a test for the young "post-95s": whether they can really be good parents. At the same time, for the parents of this generation, it is also a very challenging problem that they have not yet retired and have not left their jobs to welcome the birth of their grandchildren.
3. Want to give your children a better environment to grow up
In addition to the two more realistic factors mentioned above, there is also a very important reason, that is, many "post-95s" have just finished their education stage and are very clear about the importance of education.
They are well aware of the importance of education, but also know the importance of the original family, for some of the mothers who have been deeply hurt by the original family, whether the child's psychological health is obviously greater than the solution of the problem of food and clothing. It is believed that the suffering of the original family does not have to be left to future generations.
So in order to help their children grow better, or even "win at the starting line", many young women choose to give up the opportunity to work and concentrate on staying at home to help their children find relevant opportunities, whether it is education or other aspects of growth.
This also reveals the unique advantages of this generation: it is relatively young, and has a deeper understanding of all aspects of society; it has a understanding of the dangerous situation in society, and will not be blindly optimistic, allowing its children to receive compulsory education on their own.
Of course, a necessary condition for building on this foundation is that parents should really start from the perspective of their children, rather than control their children with their own ideas, after all, there is a gap in intergenerational ideas.
In general, the current situation in today's society that has become a full-time mother and a trend of increasing numbers and rejuvenation of women who have this idea has some limitations, and of course, there are benefits: the "suffering" that this generation has already suffered can avoid appearing in the next generation.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205