"Mom, I want to eat this!" I saw a little boy over 4 years old, holding his mother in one hand and pointing at the bright strawberries in the basin. Mom looked at the price next to the strawberry, and the big black letter said "40 yuan / catty".
At this time, the boy's mother was obviously a little hesitant, looked at the child, looked at the strawberry again, turned to the store and said: "Can the strawberries be less?" ”
"This price is indispensable, this is just picked from the strawberry base, very fresh..." the owner of the shop said seriously;
Listening to the words of the shop owner, the mother squatted down and said to the boy: "Good son, although the strawberries are big now, they are all hormones, they are not delicious at all, go, mother take you to the big apple."
Hearing his mother say this, the boy nodded in disbelief, and reluctantly followed his mother to the apple area, looking at the strawberries from time to time along the way.
Finally, the little boy bought a bag of apples with his mother, and the mother praised the child for his understanding and went home holding hands. Wen Wen's father looked at their departing backs, and his heart could not be calm for a long time. Is it really good for the mother to refuse to buy strawberries for the child in such a "deceptive" way?
Wen Wen's father sent this scene to the parenting group and asked how the parents would respond if it was their own child?
Many mothers in the group still stood on the side of the boy's mother, saying: "40 yuan a pound of strawberries is really not cheap, are enough for the whole family to live for a day, if you buy it for the child once, what to do if you have to eat every day in the future";
Some mothers also said: "Once in a while, buy a taste for your child, the child is happy, but also conducive to health, it is OKAY!" ”
There are also mothers who worry: "Make an exception to the child to buy once, and then you will put forward all kinds of unreasonable requirements, and you must not make an exception";
After reading the speeches of the mothers in the group, their worries are not unreasonable, directly agree to the child, afraid of spoiling the child, will "get inching forward" in the future; reject the child, but also afraid of hurting the child.
However, Wen Wenpa believes that parents need to carefully consider the needs of their children, and if they are reasonable, they still deserve to be respected and satisfied; but if they are unreasonable requirements, they must correctly "say no".
01, the child's wishes, worthy of being satisfied
Just as many mothers agree with the boy's mother's approach, believing that "their own economic conditions are not good enough to meet their children's desire to eat strawberries", they refuse to buy them for their children.
But in Wen Wen's father's view, although under the guidance of his mother, the boy agreed to buy apples, but the desire for strawberries in his heart did not diminish, but was suppressed in the name of "listening and understanding". If parents ignore their children's wishes for a long time and let their children's needs not be met, over time, the more serious the inner feeling of lack.
When he was a child, Wen Wen's parents have always instilled in them the concept of "poor family", resulting in their own inferiority and insecurity since childhood, and they obviously have good grades and always feel that there is a gap with their classmates.
In fact, some of the child's wishes, seemingly unreasonable, are indeed what the heart wants the most! If you often use the rational thinking of adults to ask children, whether you buy or not in the end, it will cause harm to children.
If the daughter proposes to eat 40 yuan a pound of strawberries, although Wen Wen Dad feels that it is very expensive, he should buy less, such as buying 20 yuan, so that the child can taste it.
Spending 20 yuan in this way, you have achieved the child's wish to eat strawberries, why not enjoy it!
02, for the child's unreasonable requirements, to correctly say "no"
When the child's needs are not met by parents
Several children in her daughter's class went to Sanya to play, and when her daughter returned home, she also begged Wenwen's father to take her to Sanya to play. But the family only bought a car and a house, and there was no extra money to go to Sanya in the short term.
Looking at his daughter's eager eyes, Wen Wen's father could not bear to refuse, so he said to his daughter: "You see, our family has just bought a car and a house, and they have all taken out loans, and there is no extra money to go to Sanya in the short term."
My daughter was obviously a little disappointed, and I smiled and said, "We can make going to Sanya a goal, as long as we save money from now on, we can go one day." ”
So, I took out a calculator, a pen, and a notebook, planned with my daughter how much it would cost to go to Sanya, and made a plan to save money. During this period, the daughter offered not to go to the playground to play and save money.
After the calculation, my daughter was very happy, hugged my neck and said, "Dad, in another year, we can go to Sanya."
The needs of children should be properly met by parents
With the rise in prices, I have to say that many fruits are more expensive, just like the strawberries that the little boy wants to eat above, 40 yuan a catty, for most families, the price is indeed somewhat expensive.
Wen Wen dad believes that in this case, parents can properly meet the needs of their children, but at the same time let the children pay a little "price", such as buying strawberries for their children, they can't buy toys; or using strawberries as a reward for children's good performance.
To meet the needs, the child sprinkles when rolling
Whether in the supermarket or in the mall, Wen Wen's father has seen a lot of children who are rolling around, and the reason is that they want toys and snacks... Parents do not agree to buy.
At this time, how do parents deal with it? Professor Li Meijin has publicly put forward the "four noes" method, that is, do not scold him, do not beat him, do not talk about him, do not walk away;
When the child is rolling around, it is recommended to take the child home in time, and then do not walk away, do not scold the child, do not hit the child, do not preach, quietly accompany the child until the child finishes crying.
Then ask the child, "Is the mood calm now?" Can you speak well? "If the child agrees to talk well, then reason with the child and tell him why he can't roll around and why the mother doesn't agree to buy."
But at the same time, Professor Li also suggested that mothers can meet their children's needs according to the frequency of "3:1", that is, children can meet their needs once when they put forward 3 times.
Interactive topic: When a child points to "40 yuan a pound of strawberries" and says he wants to eat them, will you buy them?
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