When men and women get married, they will face a variety of headaches. For example, how to deal with the problem of balancing work and family, how to deal with the contradictions between husband and wife, and so on.
How to deal with the relationship between husband and wife, this time makes many men and women feel helpless, do not know how to be good.
On how to deal with the relationship between husband and wife, Martin Herman, winner of the 2015 Turing Award and a member of the World's Top Scientists Association, gave the answer.
Martin Herman said that the secret to handling the relationship between husband and wife is not to act arbitrarily, but to communicate with each other!
Communication is necessary, it is an indispensable part of work, study, and even the handling of the relationship between husband and wife.
Communication can make both husband and wife know each other better, and communication is a good medicine to deal with the relationship between husband and wife!
01
Be good at self-examination and know right and wrong
When there is a contradiction between husband and wife, we must be good at self-reflection, calmly analyze the origin of the matter, and rationally resolve the contradiction.
Carnegie said, "If you're right, try to be gentle with her and skillfully get the other person to agree with you; if you're wrong, admit it quickly and enthusiastically." It's much more effective and fun than arguing for yourself. ”
It is very important to be good at self-reflection! When there is a conflict between husband and wife, we may argue that neither of us will obey the other, because we all think that we are right.
At this time, after arguing, you may as well think calmly about yourself in private, is there anything wrong with you? If you are indeed right, then use a gentle tone to persuade your love and avoid quarrels.
But if the other party still insists that he is right, he will not be persuaded by you. At this time, you may wish to take the initiative to admit that you are wrong and identify with the other party!
They are all old husbands and wives, so why do they have to fight for right and wrong?
Mutual communication and mutual understanding are the ways for husband and wife to be harmonious.
02
Do not do to others what you do not want
Each of us is a complete and independent person, with things we like and things we don't like. In the relationship between husband and wife, do not force the other party to do what you are not willing to do.
The Analects reads: "Do not do to others what you do not want." ”
For example, if you are not willing to do housework, but on the grounds that you make more money than the other party, force the housework to your lover to do.
This is an unfair, arbitrary, and extremely detrimental act of harmony between husband and wife.
Contributing more to your work is not a reason to drive the other person. Modern, egalitarian, and true conjugal relationships should be based on the premise of voluntariness.
What you don't want to do, you still force your lover to do. Even if the other party loves you deeply and has no complaints or regrets, it is very inhumane to do so.
In the relationship between husband and wife, we should communicate with each other, think more about each other, and do not force the other party to do things that you do not like.
03
Learn to listen
Goethe said, "It is a matter of nature to tell others about yourself." Therefore, it is a kind of upbringing to take seriously what others tell you about themselves. ”
Learning to listen is the best respect for your lover. God gave us two ears and a mouth to make us listen more and talk less.
In life, an attractive person must be a listener, not a gushing, chattering person.
When dealing with the relationship between husband and wife, you must learn to listen well, listen more and talk less, which is the best respect for your lover, and it is also the way for husband and wife to be harmonious.
04
Say more "thank you"
Martin Herman says it's normal for couples to have conflicts, and we should set a goal to eliminate them, even if it takes a long time to complete. When your lover understands your crazy thoughts, say "thank you" is the best compliment to your lover.
In a couple relationship, say "thank you" to each other more, which is the best compliment to your lover.
This can effectively enhance the feelings between husband and wife, so that the relationship between husband and wife becomes better and better.
Say more "thank you" and praise your lover, which is the secret to enhancing the relationship between husband and wife!
epilogue
In the relationship between husband and wife, fairness is the basis of communication, voluntariness is the principle of doing things, mutual communication, mutual understanding is the secret to enhance the feelings of husband and wife.
Listen to each other, understand each other, try to communicate with each other, you and your lover will become more and more loving, more and more happy!
Regarding the way to deal with the relationship between husband and wife, what do you think? See you in the comments section!