01
Some mothers said that every time they see their son doing things grinding and rubbing, she can feel the anger in her heart and slowly "jump" out.
Many times, when I saw the little fish crying in front of me, my heart would also burst with anger, as if I saw myself crying when I was a child.
I didn't like the feeling and wanted him to stop quickly.
Am I concerned about my child's lack of sleep time, or is it because I am disgusted by the waste of time?
02
As an independent individual, people often change in three states: parents, children, and adults.
Parental ego status: internalized by the behavior of parents or parent-type figures, is a large number of experiences acquired in the early days of life in the brain;
Including "must", "should", the parental self-state is "authoritative" and "doctrinal".
Child ego status: often emotional, impulsive, spontaneous, doing things according to feelings.
Adult self-state: "logical" and "rational", the decisions made are based on data collection and objective analysis, and are not disturbed by "parental state" and "child state".
Let yourself try to maintain an adult self-state and deal with these problems rationally.
Of course, this is not to say that a child's self-state is necessarily bad.
Because children understand their children's needs better, they are willing to express their feelings to their children more directly and emotionally.
Therefore, when you are impatient with your child, you must look at your own self-state.
03
In the end, the mother still angrily folded back, said nothing, and pulled the child away.
The child sat on the ground and wanted to buy it, and he spent it there.
If the child has been clearly told why, and he wants to use this way to make the parents submit.
You can choose to refuse, but you can stand not far away and look at him.
But children's feelings will be very different, one is the neglected needs and emotions, and the other is respected communication.
Parents themselves will feel differently, one is to scold, and the other is to raise peacefully.
04
And when the child is older, he will urge: "Why is it always so slow!" ”
With a reproachful tone.
In writer Zhang Wenliang's "Lead a Snail for a Walk", parents will feel that their children are so similar to this little snail.
Lead a snail for a walk
God gave me a task to lead a snail for a walk.
I couldn't go too fast, the snail had tried its best to climb, always moving a little bit at a time.
I urge it, I scare it, I rebuke it, and the snail looks at me with apologetic eyes, as if to say, "People have done their best!" ”
I pulled it, I pulled it, I even wanted to kick it, the snail was injured, it was sweating, gasping for breath, crawling forward,
……
Ren snail climbed forward, and I sulked in the back.
Do you feel like you have the same mentality when you see a child who is rubbing?
When you see that your child is slow to learn things, are you also in such a hurry?
When you are impatient with your child, you also want to pull him, pull him, and even want to kick him.
And forgot to look from the child's point of view.
Remember to be patient when you are impatient with your child.
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