At the age of 5, I began to read most of the original English "Harry Potter", the third grade of primary school has begun to learn junior high school mathematics, the sixth grade of high school English has been completed...
The post-00s and post-10s of this generation have all become "prodigies" under the education of their parents.
But that's not all!
A "doctor tiger father" in Nanjing has begun to teach high numbers to his 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter, yes, you read it right, it is the high number that has only begun to learn in college! The two babies often stay up late into the night in order to study!
This is really "rolling" to make people eye-opening!
In today's increasingly fierce education volume, the "double reduction" policy introduced by the state has on the contrary stimulated the reverse psychology of parents "self-chicken", the enthusiasm is not reduced, the more the chicken is reduced, the parents are all red-eyed, and resolutely do not let their babies fall on the starting line!
If your child is learning according to the rhythm of the school, in the eyes of these "chicken baby" parents, it is simply a "fool".
The most frightening thing is that in the process of "chicken baby", various discordant scenes appear! For example, this "doctor tiger father" is very extreme in his education method, and in the process of educating his children, he often uses insulting words to insult and even beat children.
In the end, the child's mother "couldn't bear it" and applied to the court for a restraining order: the respondent was prohibited from scolding the applicant and the applicant's children; the respondent was prohibited from restricting the personal freedom of the applicant and the applicant's children.
See no, there is no most volume, only more volume, even rolled to the situation of insulting and beating the child.
I believe that this must not be an isolated case, in the process of "chicken baby", there must be many children who have experienced similar situations, the only difference is that they have not been exposed.
Is it that the baby growing up normally is not normal, or the parents who struggle to "chicken baby" are too hard?
It is reasonable to say that the parents of our generation, the cultural level is better than the older generation, in the thinking and cognition should be more sober, why in reality, but one more than one fanatic?
In life, there is a very interesting phenomenon, often the higher the parents' academic qualifications, the more anxious they are in the education of their children, why is this?
Parents with high academic qualifications often work well and have high incomes, and their social status is good, and a large part of them have tasted the sweetness of "knowledge has changed their destiny", and even realized the leap of class from "facing the loess and turning their backs to the sky", because they have experienced the dividends of education, the more they will attach importance to education, so the more anxiety will be.
However, parents with high academic qualifications often have more problems in educating their children.
It is difficult for them to see the problem from the perspective of the child, but to look at the growth from their own point of view, forcing the child to equate his cognition with the experience of his parents.
They can't figure out why they are 985, 211, masters, doctors, professors, but how the children they raise are so stupid.
They can't figure out why a simple question can be seen at a glance, but the child can't go around the bend.
Just like this father, as a doctor, high numbers are a piece of cake in his eyes, he really can't figure out such a "simple" thing, why children just can't understand.
They always look at the growth of children from the perspective of adults and experts, they ignore the growth rules of children, cannot see the actual status of children, and are more likely to rush to make quick profits.
According to the "Report on the Development of China's National Mental Health (2019-2020)" released by the Chinese Academy of Sciences, the depression detection rate of Chinese adolescents in 2020 was 24.6%, of which mild depression was 17.2% and severe depression was 7.4%.
That is to say, almost 1 in 4 children is diagnosed with depression, why are children now so "vulnerable"?
A psychological blogger wrote that "in the cause of depression in minors, there is always a place that Chinese parents cannot shake, everyone knows, only they themselves do not know."
The more enthusiastic the family, the more likely the child is to have psychological problems and emotional problems, because the parents' oppression of the child's learning is too strong, and the inner attention is too low.
Excessive chicken babies, families who are keen on inner volume, eventually children and parents will go to extremes, one hates iron and steel, adopts extreme education methods for children, and one is forced to suffer in silence and live more and more negatively!
In family education, if you want your child to become more excellent, it is not the child who needs to adjust, but the parent!
Follow your child's developmental patterns
The biggest problem for parents on the "chicken baby" is that they can't see the development law of their children!
A math teacher once said bitterly that many of his good students, good mathematics are illusions, it seems that the third grade to the sixth grade, the sixth grade after the completion of junior high school are all very cattle, in fact, when it comes down to the principle and fundamentals, all of them do not know.
They are learning "superficial mathematics", this kind of super learning relies on brushing problems and strong indoctrination, parents think that their babies are very remarkable, in fact, these children are like skyscrapers without foundations, crumbling, sooner or later will collapse!
Developmental psychologist Jean Piaget proposed a "theory of cognitive development" in which he pointed out that children's cognitive growth needs to go through four stages.
1. Perceptual motor stage (0 years old to 2 years old): The cognitive structure of children at this stage is still perceptual movement, mainly relying on muscle movements and feelings to cope with the stimulation of the environment.
2. Pre-operation stage (2 years old to 7 years old): Children begin to internalize perceptual actions into appearances, establish symbol functions, and can rely on psychological symbols (mainly appearances) for thinking.
3, the specific operation stage (7 years old ~ 11 years old): children form a preliminary operation structure, with the classification and sorting of acquisition, children's thinking can be reversed, can carry out logical reasoning and cluster operations, but still limited to specific things, lack of abstraction.
4. Formal operation stage (11 years old ~ adult): children's thinking develops to the level of abstract logical reasoning.
The growth of children is a gradual process, and children can only complete the growth of intelligence if they have completely experienced each stage.
True genius is only a very small minority, parents must recognize the reality, do not pull up seedlings to help push children to run, let a child who can not walk run, sooner or later will fall on the heels!
A good mindset is important
Knowing that there is such a post, the mother was once the top ten in the provincial college entrance examination, the husband was directly guaranteed to enter the university, such an excellent two people, but the daughter has mediocre qualifications and medium grades.
The couple could not accept the child's ordinary, often yelled and reprimanded the child, the family every day chickens and dogs jumped, but the child did not change in the slightest.
In the end, they chose to give up their own standards and began to try to accept the child's ordinary, trying to find a path suitable for themselves from the child's point of view.
However, at the same time as they gave up, a surprise happened: the daughter groped out her own way of learning, the grades began to rise steadily, and the most pleasing thing for them was that the child found the joy of learning.
The mother said, "I have known the four words of teaching according to my aptitude since elementary school, but the real meaning is that my daughter has to teach me." ”
Today, when the inner volume of education is becoming more and more serious, it is inseparable from the assistance of the anxiety mentality of parents!
"If you don't study again, it's too late", "If you don't study again, you won't be able to get in"... I once joined a parenting group, and the parents in the group shared various "chicken baby" experiences every day, beating each other's chicken blood, and "double subtraction" did not exist in their eyes!
The famous educator Lu Leshan once said: The mentality of parents is a barometer for children's growth. In the growth of children, parents are the key, and the decisive role is the mentality!
Parents are peaceful, children are mentally healthy, sunny and confident, and full of vitality.
Parents are anxious, children are timid and nervous, and grow up to be particularly screwed.
Blind anxiety will make everyone lose, parents can not see the strengths of the child, the child can not find the true self, both sides eventually go to a dead end.
There is a Turkish proverb: "God prepared a low branch for every stupid bird." "Everyone has their own rhythm, and every bird has its own branches.
Giving up unrealistic high expectations, giving up comparisons with other people's children, learning to see the strengths and advantages of children, and accepting the child's ordinary and ordinary, in fact, let the child really find the beginning of self, which is what we as parents must learn to accept.
Don't ruin your child's childhood with a hot-blooded chicken baby and turn yourself into an abominable parent!
As parents, we should give our children love and pampering, not pressure and roar! What we have to do is to provide the right education to achieve him, not to destroy him through extreme education.