For parents whose children have just entered the kindergarten, they all hope that their children can quickly integrate into the group, and the most worrying thing is that their children are not social and isolated. If this kind of problem occurs, how can mothers guide their children and solve it correctly?
When parents find that their children are facing an isolated situation, do not blindly interfere, but observe the child's emotions to see if he minds being isolated. Some children have a good self-protection system, and when they are isolated, it is a good opportunity to be alone, and even some children will deliberately create opportunities for solitude. Mr. Yang Dai described Mr. Qian Zhongshu in "The Two of Us": "He is always different from everyone else, when he was five or six years old, he liked to sit alone in the tent and play the game of 'monk in the stone house', others did not understand, but he himself enjoyed it. "Although Mr. Qian Zhongshu has not been very gregarious all his life, he has not affected himself, but has played a certain role in promoting in some aspects.
When some children are isolated, they will have a feeling of "being marginalized" and feel lonely, which will lead to depression and depression. At this time, parents need to intervene and guide, understand his inner thoughts, share their own experience, or talk to the child step by step, and do exercises to restore self-confidence according to the specific situation, and ultimately enhance his self-confidence.
How to cope in different situations
There are many reasons why children are isolated, and parents need to respond to different situations and children's reactions, rather than forcing children to suppress their own integration into the group.
Different from the hobbies and views of partners
Case 1: Rice grain found that the original play with several small friends did not play much with her, asked one of the small partners to know, is laughing and not letting others play with themselves, because smile like mermaids, and rice grain likes Aisha. Even so, Rice Grain did not care, still infatuated with her Aisha.
It can be seen that the rice grain does not like mermaids, and does not want to force herself to like mermaids and smile, and she is excluded by the small circle and does not care about this isolation. For such a "shunt" isolation, as long as the child feels good, there is no need to keep her in line with others. In life, there will always be people who are different from others, they are maverick, innovative, and like to think independently. Situations like this do not need to be deliberately guided, give the child space, let her enjoy the state of loneliness, and being able to get along with loneliness is an ability. In loneliness, people's creativity and judgment will be very good, and many of human creative inventions and inspirations are produced in loneliness.
Timid, introverted, and unsociable
Case 2: The kindergarten teacher reflected to Zihang's mother: Zihang behaved very quietly in kindergarten, did not like to talk, did not play with other children, and often saw him playing alone in the corner.
At this time, the most important thing to pay attention to is the child's emotions. If the child doesn't feel that being alone is a sad thing, there is no need to intervene. However, if the child is timid and puts himself in a state of fear and tension, parents should pay attention to guidance. First of all, parents need to communicate closely with their children, understand what their children are afraid of (don't laugh at them), and work with their children to find out the reasons for the fear. Often some children are timid because they are afraid that others will have verbal or physical violence. Secondly, after parents understand the situation, they should cultivate their children in a targeted manner. If the child is bullied because of his short stature, let the child participate in more physical exercises; if it is afraid of the verbal provocation of others, you can practice role play at home to let the child adapt to such an atmosphere. The solution to the timid should vary from person to person.
Its own "small flaws"
Case 3: Qiu Qiu grew up chubby, every time she went to physical education class, her classmates laughed at her, the girls in the class did not like to play with her, and the boys often laughed at her when they saw her.
In group life, children with "small imperfections" such as fat body, dark skin or stunt, etc., are easily isolated in school, and it is also most likely that children will have inferiority complex. If parents find that their children are depressed and pessimistic, they must guide them in time. First of all, give the child full love and acceptance, let the child understand that his current appearance is accepted at home. Parents giving their children a full sense of security will increase their children's sense of belonging and enhance their self-confidence level. Second, you can work with him to improve these "small flaws", such as letting children lose weight by adhering to exercise and scientific diet; allowing children to systematically train to improve stuttering; by improving clothing taste, allowing others to divert attention, dark skin is no longer a disadvantage.
It comes from comparing with each other
Case 4: Guo Guo's mother rented a house to let her child go to a well-known primary school, but after going to school, Guo Guo was much more demanding than the original, from clothes to toys, everything was branded, but the family could not afford to provide it. Guo Guo expressed his worries to his mother: if you dress too shabby, you will be disliked by your classmates! No one plays with themselves.
When the clothes they wear are obviously cheaper than those of other classmates, children tend to have inferiority complex. Some children will work hard and use their achievements to prove themselves; some children will be inferior and introverted, and they will be depressed from then on. Parents need to pay attention to the child's emotional state, if the child is depressed and lacks the motivation to learn, it is necessary to guide the child's values in a timely manner. Values are very important for children, especially during adolescence. Parents should clarify the purpose of learning with their children, the source of self-confidence, and establish a good value system together, which will not only free children from inferiority, but also benefit children for life.