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1
We often encounter such a person in our lives, who will directly say what he thinks of in his heart, see what shortcomings others have, or have any dissatisfaction with them, and will point them out without embellishment, without considering the feelings of others.
In relationships, in marriage and family, such people are not liked by friends and family. But they themselves are also very aggrieved, feeling that they are "knife mouth, tofu heart", and the words spoken are true temperament and not hypocritical.
"Knife mouth, tofu heart" is to describe a person who speaks sharply and harshly, but in fact, his heart is not bad, and the starting point is also good.
2
There was a friend whose husband strongly expressed dissatisfaction and rejection to her because of her outlet hurt, she justified herself as a "knife mouth, tofu heart", she thought that her husband should understand her and love her tofu heart, and ignore her knife mouth.
But the inside of the knife mouth must be a tofu heart? Are words against the ear all advice?
Each of us will have strengths and weaknesses, and we can have two expressions for the evaluation of things, we can choose to praise the good of others or blame others for their badness.
And people with knife mouths, a mouth is to pick other people's faults, they do not like recognition, praise, appreciation, prefer to blame, complain, deny.
This is both a peculiarity of their language and a choice for them, who choose to focus only on the shortcomings of others and ignore the strengths of others. This shows that their hearts are also full of negative energy of denial and resentment.
The knife mouth will not only hurt others, but also hurt yourself.
When you listen to your own complaints every day, and the sharp words echo in your mind, you will let yourself indulge in negative energy for a long time.
Therefore, although the knife-mouthed person is not malicious and bad-hearted, his heart must also be sharp and negative, easy to be respectable and stay away from in interpersonal relationships, and prone to conflict in intimate relationships. Even if his intentions are good and his opinion is correct, the result is that his opinion is not accepted because he does not take into account the feelings of others in his way of speaking.
Therefore, what the husband feels uncomfortable with is the wife's way of communicating, and this uncomfortable feeling will not offset the uncomfortable feeling because she has a good starting point.
3
If a person with a "knife-mouthed tofu heart" wants to obtain a harmonious relationship and a happy marriage, she needs to learn to stand in the position of others and feel the ability of others, improve the positive energy in her heart, and need to learn to "be faithful and smooth".
"Faithful words" and "faithful words" are opposites.
"Faithful words" are words that are true and persuasive to improve, and must be uncomfortable. And "good words" means that words that are both true and point out shortcomings can also be comfortable.
Praise and encouragement when we see the brilliance of others is also true, and before we want to criticize, if we first affirm, the other person will feel happy and encouraged, and then criticize, the degree of acceptance will be higher.
In this way, not only take into account the feelings of the other party, but also express it truthfully, and finally effectively promote the improvement of the other party.
In intimate relationships, it is more necessary to have such "good words", abandon too sharp and exaggerated, subjective language, and choose language that is not harmful, but can be expressed clearly and objectively. First say nice and truthful words, effectively impress the other party, and then criticize and guide.
For example: A wife scolds her husband for not answering her phone: "You don't answer my phone all day, I feel broken and want to die!" Are you human, you don't care about my feelings, don't care about me, don't respect me, you used to say how much you love me and care about me is false! ”
If you change it to a good word, you can say something like this: "Husband, after so many years with you, I feel that you are very responsible for the family, respect me, and give me a lot of happy time. And today you don't answer the phone makes me feel confused, anxious, sad, and questioning whether you still respect me and care about me, I don't like this kind of behavior. ”
It can be expected that with different expressions, the other party will have completely different responses. People who behave in a manner that takes into account the feelings of others are the most loved by their loved ones and friends.
Our family affection cannot transcend any boundless verbal hurt, and our friendship cannot withstand any unintentional criticism.
Thus, Plato said:
"When wise people speak, they say what they have to say. And the foolish speak what they want to say. ”
Being able to control your mouth and heart wisely is naturally easier to get good interpersonal relationships and a happy life.
END
▎This article is the original article of Mr. Zheng Qijuan of the center, please indicate the source when reprinting, and the company reserves the right to pursue according to law if the user is used without permission.