He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
I was 20 years old 15 years ago, and I was still in college that year.
On that damp, romantic, lightning and thunderous night, I missed my first love and my only encounter in 35 years.
I went to the city with a female classmate from the next class to buy supplies.
When I plan to go back, there is a storm, lightning and thunder.
The straight man, like me, asked the girl to go to the Internet café to surf the Internet.
Hours passed, the rain had not stopped, and it was almost time for the dormitory to close.
The girl timidly told me, "I have my ID card."
I said, "I know, otherwise how would I come to the Internet café."
Looking at the girl's first confused and resentful expression, I was very puzzled.
Took her hand, trotted all the way to the roadside taxi, spent 2 days of living expenses, took a taxi to send the girl downstairs to the dormitory.
Back in the dormitory, I asked my roommates:
"Why did that classmate tell me she had an ID card? What do you mean? ”
My roommates stared at me with foolish eyes.
That day, I dreamed, and it was all damp.
I am 35 years old and have been single for 35 years.
From roll to lie, and then from lying to roll, and finally choose to lie again.
I had a hunch that I would never get married in my life, and even my parents said, "In your life, just play single." ”
I am Lao Chen, and everyone calls me "Chen Toad".
4 reasons why I'm single.
Narrated by Mr. Chen
Author: He Suohuan
-01
Single reason one: lack of confidence in appearance
I don't want to tell you, the first time I had the concept of "beauty and ugliness" in my mind was in the first grade of my elementary school.
I just divided my class that day and met new classmates.
There was a girl sitting at the same table with me, and as soon as I sat down, the girl cried.
While crying, he raised his hand to the teacher and said:
"Teacher, teacher, I don't want to sit with toads, I'm afraid."
I have been fat since I was a child, and I drink water to grow meat.
The forehead is narrow, the mouth is large, the cheekbones are prominent, and the eye bags are heavy.
The five senses are congenitally disabled, probably because my father's genes are strong, because my mother often said:
"You toad, how can you eat my swan meat"
That day was the day when my inferiority complex was strongest.
As young as me, I broke down and cried because of my looks when I was in the first grade.
Later, every year I went to school, every time I went to a new school and met a new classmate, I would receive "surprised or shocked" expressions from the people around me.
I have long been numb.
Even without saying, I can guess what they are thinking:
"How does this person look so much like a toad?"
Later, I gave full play to the spirit of Ah Q:
"Such a sign of ugliness is also an advantage."
This inferiority and self-deprecation didn't get better until I started working after college.
Because I don't care anymore.
Since the appearance is already like this, I can't change it.
At the time of graduating from college, I was 180 tall, weighed 240 pounds, and was a big fat man.
Looking at the other 5 roommates in the dormitory, all of them hugged the beauty, and only I stood tall.
Numb.
-02
Single reason two: poor family and ordinary origin
I grew up on the land.
Because since he was a child, he went to the fields with his parents to do farm work, or go up the mountain to herd sheep.
When I was young, being able to eat a meal of meat was my biggest expectation, and I could only eat it twice a year.
One is the Mid-Autumn Festival and the other is the New Year.
In such a family, my parents gave birth to 2 sons and 1 daughter.
When I was 30 years old, my younger siblings got married.
I don't want to tell you that their marriage was all handled by me.
On the night of my brother's wedding, I drank too much and sat with my father bragging.
I said to my father:
"Gentlemen, people are pit daddy, you are pit daddy."
After saying these words, he fell to the ground in a daze.
I don't know if the wine is too strong, or my heart hurts too much, or my father's ears are too fierce.
When I was in college, I had good grades and was very competitive.
The school offered me a place for "graduate school", but because my family was poor, I couldn't afford it, so I gave up.
Because I want to graduate early and go out to work, help my parents support the family, and take care of my younger siblings.
Thinking about it later, I didn't resent my family much.
Because I have been lazy since I was a child, I can pass the test with 90 points, and I resolutely do not take the test with 100 points.
After graduating, I stayed in the city of college and found a decent company.
This stay is 8 years.
Can you believe it?
I went to work for this company after graduation and stayed for 8 years.
The owner painted me a pie for 8 years.
When I first joined, there were 30 people in the company, and my boss said to me:
"Young man, I see that you have an expensive face, follow me and do a good job, in the future I will give you the ability to buy a house and a car here."
That year, the boss offered me a salary of 4k a month, and the house price in that city at that time was more than 7k.
I don't have any big pursuits, I don't think about being rich, I just want to be stable, and it's good to have money every month.
In 8 years, my salary went from 4k to 15 thousand.
When I left the company at the age of 30, there were five people left in the company, including the boss and the boss's wife.
The hostess is my college classmate.
This classmate was still introduced to the company by me.
That day, for the first time, I had a new understanding of the word "flatbread".
No one can paint you a pie all the time, except the boss.
From a strange and familiar city, I went around and returned to my hometown.
8 years, saved 300,000.
The younger siblings got married and spent 200,000 yuan.
People say that I am 30 years old, only 100,000.
-03
Single reason three: fat house happy, rotten life
I was too homely, especially after returning to my hometown to work.
Without friends, classmates have long been out of contact, and there is no common language with colleagues.
Every day is a three-point line:
Companies, homes, wet markets.
My biggest hobby: eating.
The first thing to do when you pay your salary: go to the wet market and supermarket and buy food for at least half a month.
If you don't want to go to work, apply to work from home;
I didn't want to cook at home, so I took my parents to eat outside.
Back home, my salary fell to 8k, and 4k a month was spent on eating.
For a while, I was particularly rolled.
Seeing that in the circle of friends, everyone is working hard to make money, trying to lose weight, and trying to get better, I am jealous, envious, and full of energy.
Exercised for 3 days, posted a circle of friends for 3 days, couldn't bear it, gave up.
After reading the book for 2 days, checking in the circle of friends, too boring, give up.
Work hard to learn skills, do a side hustle, get too tired, give up.
The roll couldn't be rolled up, so I had to lay it out.
-04
Single reason four: straight male thinking, topic terminator
In my long 35 years, I went on blind dates 10 times.
There were 7 blind dates, and the girl thought I looked like a toad, and said tactfully to the matchmaker:
"He's too festive, not my standard to like."
There were 2 blind dates, and the girl thought I was fat.
On the last blind date, the girl sent me a message saying, "Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, would you like to come to my house for dinner?" I live by myself, so lonely. ”
I said, "I'm too lazy to move, I'll give you some takeout and eat it yourself." ”
I am always a hindsight and often unable to understand the intentions of girls.
Can't chat, don't know how to communicate with the opposite sex.
In my limited, vague memories related to the opposite sex, I would have said no more than 200 words to the opposite sex.
In fact, every time I talk to girls, it makes me feel stressed.
Seriously, I'm happiest when I'm alone.
I had a hunch, and even a strong thought: to be single for the rest of my life.
The next steps are:
Save enough money for my parents and me.
Buy another car and take them on a journey while their parents are not yet old.
Today's Topic:
Why are you single?
(This article is a series of true stories, narrated by Mr. Chen, author He Suohuan.) If you also have a story, welcome to leave a message in the background)