Parents who are too "capable" cannot raise grateful children
Children know gratitude, know how to reciprocate, and everything is what they deserve.
As the saying goes, "Children are not ugly, dogs are not poor." ”
But many children have grown up and seen a lot of "the world", and when they return home, they hate their parents.
Abandoning his parents for not having a million family wealth makes him struggle for decades less; abandoning his parents is not learning enough and cannot keep up with the pace of the world
The paradox is that it is precisely this kind of parent who pours everything he has to satisfy his children, but the children do not know how to cherish and blindly double their demands, which is the greatest sorrow of parents. 【WeChat public account: Sinology Life】
The ancients said, "There will be something hateful about the poor, and there will be misery for the hateful." ”
Children are brought into the world by their parents and shaped by one hand; children do not understand gratitude, and the deepest root lies in their parents.
In order to give children the best education, children begin to "pamper themselves" from an early age, and there is only one "task": to become a talent.
No matter what their own conditions are, they must also let their children enjoy the best, just so that their children do not lose on the "starting line".
Children don't have to do time-consuming housework, they don't have to read "useless idle books"; over time, children feel that their time is "precious" and their parents' time is cheap.
They then think that their parents work very easily, money comes very quickly, and they do not have the concept of all the hard-won things in their hearts, but complain that their parents are too stingy to meet their increasing needs.
The human heart is not enough to swallow the snake elephant, and so are the children.
Parents blindly pay, will only hold the child's desires infinitely large.
They are accustomed to being held in the palm of their hands by their parents, or even grandparents, and are accustomed to being self-centered, so it is difficult to appreciate the kindness of their parents.
Good education should let children understand the difficulty of parents and the difficulty of life.
Only when you are touched by the efforts of your parents will you plant the seeds of gratitude in your heart and take root in the future.
Children without a sense of responsibility are easy to become "deserters"
As the old saying goes, "Raise children to prevent old age." ”
Once this idea germinates in the mind, it will take the future of the child as the greatest expectation of adult life.
As a result, parents will carefully plan their children's future, learn what is most beneficial and what is most worthwhile, depriving children of the right to choose and the ability to think independently.
The child seems to be in the center of gravity of the family, but he can't help himself, which is the child's biggest grievance.
The parents said, "You don't understand, everything I do is for your own good." 【WeChat public account: Sinology Life】
Such children, because their parents "do" too many things, do not have their own sense of responsibility; once the family encounters changes, or encounters any setbacks in the future, they often retreat without fighting and become deserters in life.
In fact, for anyone, the sense of responsibility is more important than the ability; the ability can be sought, but without the sense of responsibility, things are often yellow before they start.
The love of parents is not endless, properly let go, let the child learn to take responsibility for themselves, will understand the good intentions of parents, and then nourish a grateful heart.
There is no experience, it is useless. It is precisely those trivial things that teach children to understand the importance of diligence, the value of paying, and the meaning of cherishing.
Knowing gratitude is the result of accumulation over time
The biggest misunderstanding of parenting education is that as long as the child is capable, it seems that the so-called gratitude and upbringing are insignificant, and they will naturally come to fruition when they grow up.
It is true that abilities can be cultivated quickly, but parenting is the result of water droplets and stones, and it is difficult to "quickly achieve".
As the saying goes, "The country is easy to change, but the nature is difficult to move." ”
We can't wait for a child to grow up and settle down before we panic and teach our children what gratitude is and what filial piety is, and that's too late; a child's prejudices are already deeply ingrained and difficult to change.
They only know that good things should be kept exclusively, and they will not be ashamed of selfishness.
The story of the ancients having Kong Rong let the pear is actually teaching children to know how to be grateful, and it is also teaching parents how to cultivate grateful children.
In life, the reason why children will "occupy" everything with peace of mind is because parents do not teach them how to share:
When eating, parents do not move chopsticks, and children are not allowed to move first;
Usually, if there is anything delicious, do not let the child "exclusive", but "ask" to share a part of the parents;
If the child has any troubles or setbacks, listen more and give more advice, rather than solving them on behalf of the child;
Learn to say "thank you" and respond positively to everyone's efforts.
The so-called filial piety, the so-called gratitude, the child can not understand it, and it must be rooted in the habits of life to easily integrate into the bones.
Before becoming a talent, you must first become an adult.
Otherwise, with all effort, the child will not have the slightest gratitude.
It is instinctive for parents to love their children, but teaching children to love others and know how to be grateful is the true meaning of education.
Children know gratitude, know how to reciprocate, and everything is what they deserve.