When parents cultivate their children, they hope that he is smart and obedient, but they also hope that he has independent opinions, rather than listening to adults like puppets in everything. When I was a child, I thought that my children's obedient parents could save a lot of worry, but when they grew up, parents inevitably worried about their future. There is a reason for a child's lack of assertiveness, and it can be corrected.
Image source: @Visual China
First, the reason for the child's lack of assertiveness
1. Too much intervention
As the child grows up, he will come into contact with many strangers and strange things, and these things are all tests for him. Since childhood, parents are accustomed to doing the work for their children, subconsciously thinking that the child has not experienced, they have helped the child make a decision, and repeatedly deprive the child of the opportunity to judge and act, the child's judgment and action can not be exercised, how can there be an opinion?
2, too much negation
Children will be a little helpless when they encounter new things, parents should not use their own behavior and values to ask their children, let alone blindly deny the child's practice, do not deny because they feel that the child's approach is naïve and immature. You have to look at things from your child's point of view, encourage him to make decisions, and be your child's guide and backing. When the child can't do that thing well, give the right guidance, so that the child gets the opportunity to exercise and progress.
Image source: @Visual China
Second, how to cultivate children's opinions
1. Give your child the opportunity to exercise
The child does not have the ability to take care of himself when he falls to the ground, but he is learning, learning to speak, learning to walk, learning to communicate with others. Parents should give their children the opportunity to exercise, let him participate in the life of the group, and communicate with peers to make friends. When the child encounters difficulties, do not rush to help, but encourage him on the side, or let him think quietly, deal with it in his own way, give encouragement when the practice is correct, and correct it in time when the practice is wrong.
2) Results and processes are just as important
The result is the most able to show the child's effect of doing things, but as a parent, do not pay too much attention to the result, but should pay attention to the child's process when moving towards the result, like the child running slowly, but he did not give up halfway, but step by step to the end. At this time, parents should give him support and praise, rather than losing the result, and when the encouraged child will work harder next time, the results will inevitably be better.
3. Give children the opportunity to express themselves
The child is also a member of the family, even if his idea is immature, but can let him participate in the affairs of the family, give him the opportunity to express his opinions, such as selecting daily necessities in the supermarket, you can let the child choose, and say why he chose XX products, which not only expresses the child's preferences, but also exercises his thinking and speaking ability.
4. Cultivate children's ability to be good at questioning
Good at questioning can achieve better development. Parents should give enough patience to their children's doubts, because of experience, children's questions are too common in the eyes of parents, but children do not know why. At this time, parents should actively answer their children's questions, encourage him to express his opinions, and guide him to divergent thinking and consider problems from multiple angles and dimensions.
Assertion is a person's valuable ability, this ability is not born, but need to exercise in the process of life to obtain, parents should create more exercise opportunities for children and give encouragement, so that children from a variety of challenges become more assertive, become more independent.