Hello everyone, I am a tomato mother who practices lifelong learning!
Everywhere to compete for the first, everything is "so strong", such a character of the child is confident or inferior? It may be different from what most parents think, and parents must watch it.
Xiao Jia, who has always had a strong personality and looks optimistic and cheerful, uttered a surprising sentence: "When I was a child, I was a very inferior child. Unfortunately, in that era, my parents did not pay attention to the growth and education of their children, so that when I became an adult, I had a big character defect. Many people say that I am so strong, but in fact, this is purely my protective color, trying to cover up my vulnerability and inferiority. ”
"I really didn't expect you to have such a story behind your back." I have some sighs, and I have never thought that Xiao Jia is strong because of inferiority.
Xiao Jia said: "Now that I have also been upgraded to a mother, the losses I suffered when I was a child do not want to repeat it in my own children." Therefore, I pay special attention to the child's psychological feelings, but whenever I find that he shows signs of inferiority, I will guide him in time to avoid the child's inferiority complex from being continuously enlarged and causing personality defects. ”
"Is there still a trace of the child's inferiority performance?" As a mother, I am naturally very concerned about this issue. Therefore, Xiao Jia categorized the children's psychology and behavior that he had consulted and collected over the years and explained to me.
If the child appears in these four signs in childhood, it shows that the child's inferiority complex is very heavy, and as a parent, it is necessary to guide it correctly in time, otherwise the child is easy to develop an inferior personality.
★ Taking things is always habitually last
I often hear parents around me teach their children to know how to be humble, but at a young age, excessive humility, maturity and understanding beyond age are not necessarily a good thing. Excessive suppression of children's nature will cause the negative effect of "things must be reversed".
As it is: there is a child in our community, who is always habitually queuing up at the end to get something. People around me praised the child for his understanding, but once I heard him tell his mother, "I want to be in the front, and I am afraid of upsetting them." His mother said naturally: "Just rank last, what is the impact of taking it when people finish it?" ”
At that moment, I suddenly realized that it was not that this child was born sensible, but that the way he was educated made him suppress his own nature. Be patient in everything and not upset others. Behind the excessive understanding is precisely the performance of the child's inferiority.
Suggestion: If you find that your child is always queuing up at the end to get something, parents should not think that it is a trivial matter, and do not rush to praise the child for knowing how to be humble.
But to tell the child, everything is orderly, the queue also pays attention to "first come, then come", the standard of being a good child, only need to abide by the order of queuing to take, and do not need to deliberately fall behind people.
★ Overly concerned about other people's evaluations
Last week I took my children to a seminar where the organizers invited all the children to perform on stage. One of them, Guagua, acted resistant and finally came to power under the coercion and inducement of his mother.
Guagua's performance that day was very average, and when I stepped down, I clearly saw the child's eyes wrapped in tears of grievance. Then I heard the child whisper to his mother, "They must be laughing at me." What surprised me even more was that the child's mother's answer was straightforward: "Yes, people should laugh at you, you are behaving too badly." ”
This is another typical example of the failure of family education and the inferiority of children. Children are afraid of being frustrated, afraid of hearing bad negative evaluations, they don't care about their performance at all, they care more about the outside world's evaluation of themselves. They have strong self-esteem on the surface, but in fact they are humble and sensitive on the inside.
Suggestion: For the education of such children, parents must not give their children "the anxiety of selling wins and losses", but on the contrary, they must reassure their children that "victory and defeat are common things".
Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, not all aspects are better than others to be called excellent, do a good job, down-to-earth on the line.
★ Inability to integrate into social groups
People in society have their own small groups of "smelly" people, but some children always seem out of place. When a group of children have a good time, some children will only watch from a distance.
In fact, it is not that children do not want to mingle with their peers, but that children have "social anxiety", they are afraid that their peers will not accept them, and they do not know how to communicate with their peers. In the final analysis, this is also a manifestation of the child's inferiority complex.
Suggestion: For this type of child, parents should be willing to let go, let the child do something within his ability, and build the self-confidence of "I am great" and "I will do" in the child's inner world.
Gradually, the child can open his heart, and when he encounters children of the same age playing together, he will not feel stage fright, shrink back, and is willing to bravely take the first step to try.
★ Always hiding behind mom and dad
Some children meet strangers by holding their heads high, while others are diametrically opposed, habitually hiding behind their parents, acting very shy and timid. Children with this phenomenon is also a manifestation of inferiority, they are always worried that they are not good enough. Afraid of being ugly in front of strangers, he quickly hid behind his parents and looked for a safe harbor.
Recommendation: For such children, parents must not take tough measures to drag the child out from behind. This will only further undermine the child's inner sense of security and make the child feel afraid.
The right thing to do is to start by building up your child's self-confidence step by step, encourage your child more, let your child learn to recognize yourself, tell them that they are not worse than others, and let them dare to stand in front of strangers and accept the look from others.
Psychologist Freud once said that the feeling of inferiority in childhood usually accompanies people throughout their lives.
Therefore, if you want your child to be cheerful and confident and optimistic in the future, you must pay more attention to your child's daily behavior. After all, inferiority is not innate, and many times it is caused by acquired influences. Responsible parents can carry out timely and correct guidance when they can intervene at an early age, so that children can get rid of the psychological haze and grow up happily and confidently!
Interactive Topic: Have you ever carefully observed your child? Did he know enough to make people feel bad?
Slogan: Learning may not allow parents to cultivate excellent children 100%, but without learning, you can't cultivate excellent children, may every mother become a learning mother!