Kids love to watch TV and can't stop? Try this trick

The child wants to watch TV, and you just have something in your hands that you are not busy with, ok, then show him for a while.

When you are busy with your own business and want to turn off the TV, the child does not agree, and the child cries.

Give it to him to continue to see, worried that looking too long will not be good for the eyes.

Don't show it to him, crying heart-rending, it's really painful.

And every three to five minutes there will be such a scene.

Children's ability to control themselves

Ideally, the child will be able to turn off the TV after watching it for ten or twenty minutes.

If this is the case, it means that the child's self-control is very good.

How to cultivate self-control?

Self-control is a child's active control over his or her own psychology and behavior.

In early childhood, this control is assumed by the parents, who stop and remind the child of some of the language and behaviors.

But as the child grows, this responsibility can be borne by the child himself.

At this time, it is still the parents who make rules and force their children to enforce them. Then this responsibility will never be transformed into the child.

Many parents often complain that their children have no self-control and no sense of responsibility.

In fact, it is because these responsibilities are on the parents of the children.

Children will never learn self-control without the opportunity to make their own choices.

Boundaries of parents

At this point, you might say that if you let your child choose on your own, your child may choose to watch TV all day.

There is a passage in Dr. Dubson's book" "Courage to Discipline": "If there is a railing on the edge of the cliff, then one dares to look down against the railing, because there is no fear of falling; if there is no railing, everyone will stop far from the cliff, let alone stand on the edge of the cliff and look down." ”

Children do not know boundaries, do not know the boundaries of safety, do not have a sense of security, and cannot talk about independent choice.

When we say that independent choice is not unconditional choice, it is to provide children with free growth space within a safe boundary.

The child is within the boundaries, and the parents let the child do whatever they want.

The child touches the boundary, and the parents resolutely stop it.

That's the bottom line for parents. And this boundary should be stable enough, not today's border is big tomorrow's border is small, all depends on the parents' mood, so that the child will be very contradictory.

The child's own choice

Back to the question of watching TV.

First, set boundaries.

Children are actually sometimes very reasonable, provided that the parents are calm.

Tell your child "I know you enjoy watching TV, but..."

But "what follows can be said by the child's acceptance level," and what I said to my daughter was that "the ophthalmologist said that watching too much TV would have an effect on vision, because she had always been more convinced of the doctor's words."

More and less issues require parents and children to agree on a time frame that is acceptable to both parties.

The result of my communication with my daughter was to watch 2 episodes of TV (1 episode of 10 minutes) a day.

Second, make your own choice.

Everyone wants to have their own little coffers, where they can decide for themselves how and when to spend it.

The same goes for kids.

Parents throw all this time watching TV to their children, and these times are their children's small coffers, and the children can decide how to spend it.

For example, you can watch 2 episodes a day, and you can watch 14 episodes a week. This is the total number of the child's vault, within which the child is free to choose, he can choose to watch 2 episodes a day, every day to watch TV; he can also choose to watch 14 episodes a day, and the next 6 days without TV.

Of course, you can also use some props to make children more involved, such as signing a "contract" to cover a handprint, drawing 14 circles, and painting this circle after watching 1 episode, so that children can more intuitively see their "balance".

With such a sense of participation, a sense of responsibility, then there can be what we later call self-control.

In fact, children are very smart, many children have a small treasury, will save "flowers".

The day after I made an agreement with my daughter, she told me on her way home from kindergarten, "Mom, I'm not watching TV today, I'm going to save today's 2 episodes for tomorrow." ”

I was particularly pleasantly surprised, and of course I gave her timely positive feedback: "I appreciate you because you enjoy watching TV, but you can still control yourself, and I am proud of you." 」 ”

Once she also "spent" her Share of Sunday on Saturday, but on Sunday she would tell me, "I don't watch TV today, because I've watched it all this week." ”

Third, hold the border.

It is ideal for parents and children to agree and children to follow the rules.

Of course, some children will also choose to watch 14 episodes a day, and then cry the next day to continue watching.

There are also children who make rules well and roll when it is time to turn off the TV.

At this time, parents need to guard the border.

The child is testing the boundaries of the parents.

If the boundaries of the parents are fragile, the child will attack and the parents will retreat again and again.

If the parents' boundaries are strong and stable, and the child cries and finds that there is no way to break through, he will begin to think about how to get more power and more benefits for himself within this boundary.

Of course, in the process of crying, parents should also do a good job of handling their children's emotions.

As we often say, gentle and firm.

Believe that children will be within our stable boundaries, free and upward!