Hello everyone, I am a tomato mother who practices lifelong learning!
My son and daughter are 4 years apart! Once after school, my son's homeroom teacher left me behind. The son stood behind the teacher with his head bowed, and I thought he had made some mistake, and the teacher dragged the child over, and there were several deep scars on the back of his hands, all of which were bleeding, as if they had been scratched by fingernails.
It turned out that in the self-study class, my son's table was a little girl, because his hand reached half of the person's side, and he scratched his hand several times. The son actually put up with it, or the children behind told the teacher.
Back at home, I asked my son, "Why don't you tell the teacher when others bully you?" The son said, "I don't dare, because she is a girl, and you said that boys should give way to girls." I told the teacher that the teacher would criticize me. ”
I began to realize that something seemed wrong with my son's education. Because my daughter is younger, I always pay more attention to her and ignore my son's inner feelings. Then, the child does not trust the parents and teachers, and does not know how to solve the problem.
At home, parents often want their older children to let younger siblings, which is a very wrong approach. The child has learned to blindly tolerate, he can not distinguish what is "play" and what is "bullied". Therefore, I think the first thing I should do is to let my son understand that what is "bullying".
☆ Teach children to distinguish between "joking" and "bullying"
Children and children have conflicts together, in addition to competing for play, it is competing for food, and it may also be a joke. I said to my son, distinguish between what is "playing" and what is "being bullied", and you have to judge it according to your own feelings. If you volunteered to participate in this matter, it is to play with the children. If you are passive, you will be bullied by others.
When a child wants to play with you, or jokes, his expression is very pleasant, and you can also feel happy. If the other party says that it is a joke, but the expression is very vicious, bringing you a feeling of repression, it is a painful thing.
Playing with friends, even if it is a fight, everyone will control their own strength, and such a fight is mutual, not one-sided. You don't feel pain, you don't feel pain.
I told my son that if my classmates played with you, just like you and your sister, even if you were injured, you probably wouldn't feel aggrieved and afraid. Therefore, when others make you feel uncomfortable and feel wronged, you must find a way to seek help.
As a parent, sending your child to kindergarten and school is the first step for your child to embark on society. Of course, we hope that children can get along well with everyone and will not become bullied. However, there are always some children who will "bully the soft and fear the hard" and choose to bully other children who are good at bullying.
Children with these two characteristics are easily bullied by others, and parents should be cautious
Timid, insecure children are more likely to be bullied.
People who are timid and afraid of things are more likely to be bullied, because all people, including adults, have the characteristics of bullying soft and afraid of hard. If you are a "hedgehog", you will tie your hands as soon as you grab it, and if it is soft cotton, he will dare to do it.
Children are timid, lack trust in the people around them, and dare not tell teachers and family members about things, the more cowardly children are, the easier they are to be bullied by bad children.
Honest and obedient children who are not good at interpersonal communication are easily bullied.
Those who bully in school, when they choose, often choose those children with withdrawn personalities and single personalities to bully. If you often have three or five friends to accompany you, the bad guy will be afraid when he sees it, and he does not dare to bully you. Therefore, bad boys often bully those honest people who are lonely, they are not sociable, and they are often alone.
When children are young, character growth is very important. Parents should accompany their children more, pay attention to their children, and give their children enough love and attention in their hearts, so that the child's personality will be more confident and lively.
If the child's personality is more honest and introverted, it is unlikely that the parents will change, what if they are afraid that the child will be bullied? From being bullied to being upset, I took my son to do it.
Signed up for a taekwondo class to improve the child's self-protection ability.
Strengthening physical fitness is a lot of benefits for children, strong children are less likely to be bullied from the outside, and when children practice for a period of time, I find that his willpower is stronger, and when faced with some unexpected situations, children also become brave.
Even if you don't learn professional exercises such as taekwondo and judo, parents take their children to physical exercise, and the benefits to their children are very much. Children are physically strong, not afraid of setbacks, and people will be more confident!
Through cases, let children understand when to resist and protect themselves.
I told my son a lot about his childhood, and I had conflicts with friends, how I did it. When someone bullied me, how did I ask adults for help. When someone bullies me, tell him out loud: It's not right to bully people.
Someone beat me, first protect yourself, you can run away to find the teacher, go home and tell the parents. In addition to their own experiences, picture book stories are also a good choice, through reading stories to let children understand how to seek help in case of emergency.
Parents give their children enough attention and companionship to let their children learn to make friends.
I often take my children to play in crowded places, and in the process of getting along with children, the children are becoming more and more cheerful, and they have several friends. The company of friends makes the child very happy, and the attention, support and companionship of the parents also give the child a lot of courage.
Children are the treasures of parents, and no one wants to be bullied, but schools and society are not always concerned by parents, so it is important to teach children self-protection.
Interactive Topic: What is your child's personality? Have you ever bullied others or been bullied?
Slogan: Learning may not allow parents to cultivate excellent children 100%, but without learning, you can't cultivate excellent children, may every mother become a learning mother!