In the normal development of mankind, whether it is a real danger or an imaginary danger, it will manifest itself in various forms. If the ego fails to find a way to deal with the danger, it will fall into a long period of helplessness and panic. The instinctive reaction to danger is anxiety.
At the beginning of life, babies behave as if any accident were a danger to them. For example, a sudden loud noise or sudden exposure to strong light may make him "stunned". Later, as the baby's attachment to his mother deepens, he will feel anxious about the mother's disappearance from his sight, which is still a reaction similar to shock. A large number of similar situations can cause anxiety in the infant, and if the infant's response to all such things is always frightened and helpless, it will be almost impossible for him to survive in this world.
However, we will soon find that the number of such "dangers" has decreased. Repeated experiences can help babies overcome feelings of danger, and the "stunned" response weakens to something like a slight surprise or surprise. At the same time, babies are also developing another ability to cope with "dangers" that are dangerous for babies but not for us adults. He learned to anticipate and prepare for the "danger" to come. Moreover, he is preparing for danger with anxiety!
While he was sleeping, his mother left. In the early stages of infant development, the infant may show a certain anxiety about the departure of the mother, which is caused by the surprise or shock caused by the mother's disappearance from her own sight. In the later stages of infant development, as soon as he is close to his bed, or even whenever he walks into his room, he develops a certain anxiety, followed by crying and protesting.
He had foreseen that his mother would leave this terrible thing and prepared himself for the anxiety that arose before it happened. This anticipatory anxiety helps him cope with the pain of separation from his mother. We have reason to believe that separation from the mother in this way reduces the pain it causes to the baby, compared to the early days when he regarded separation from the mother as a surprise and shock to him.
At this point, we should realize that anxiety itself is not a pathology, but a necessary and normal physiological and psychological preparation that individuals take in response to danger. In fact, in some cases, anxiety that lacks anticipation can actually trigger neuroses! Those who are frightened away by the horrors of war, for one reason or another, do not develop the necessary anticipatory anxiety to prepare him for danger and thus be unable to avoid traumatic neurosis.
In some cases, anxiety is essential for a person's survival. A lack of understanding of the dangers and failure to prepare for them can have disastrous consequences. Moreover, we found that anxiety helps people achieve their highest goals. In fact, the anxiety of performing artists before taking the stage may prompt them to perform at their highest level.
Anxiety is beneficial to the social development of the child, and it is one of the motivations for the child to gain conscience. It is precisely the fear of being criticized by the loved ones and the desire to be loved that the child forms a conscience; it is precisely because of the fear of the condemnation of the conscience that people are prompted to behave in accordance with moral standards. Initially, it was out of anxiety about genocide that different groups of humanity lived closely together for each other's safety. With a long list of human inventions and human institutions, we can continue to demonstrate the dangers and the need to resist them, and how they provide the impetus for humanity to pursue the highest level of civilization.
Of course, we know that anxiety doesn't always benefit individuals or society. Unmet dangers can make people feel helpless and lose confidence, leading to avoidance or antisocial behavior. Only in these cases can we see anxiety as pathological. However, it is more accurate to say that this solution to the problem or the attempt to solve the problem is pathological.
So let's go back to the goal of promoting children's mental health, understand the nature of the fears that arise in early childhood, and take a closer look at the ways in which children cope with the dangers that occur at all stages of a child's development, which may be real or imagined.
Before a child develops the ability to cope with danger, for a long time, he needs to rely on his parents to meet needs, relieve stress, anticipate danger, and get rid of troubles. For infants and young children, parents are not only very powerful, they can see through their own secret desires, but they can also satisfy their deepest desires.
So, in the eyes of children, how do their beloved parents become monsters? If you look closely at the life of infants and young children, you will find that this transformation occurs mainly in some occasions: when it is necessary to interfere with the child's happiness; when the child is interrupted by a pleasant activity; when it refuses to meet a certain wish of the child; when the child's wishes or attempts are blocked in some way.
Then, when the child is angry, the mother becomes the worst, most evil, and most despicable mother in the world. As you can imagine, if we never interfere with a child's pursuit of pleasure, fulfill all of their children's wishes, and do not object to anything they want to do, we may never have to experience this negative reaction from our child. But then it is impossible to raise a cultured child.
In the process of raising children, we need to intervene in the child's happiness, not only for practical considerations such as health, safety, family needs, etc., but also because we want to raise the child to be a cultured person. What do you think of these views? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area...
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