How do you use a psychological effect to make the person you love fall in love with you?
The "Barnum effect" in psychology says that it's easy for everyone to empathize with a general, general description of personality and think it's accurate to say itself.
For example, the constellation and blood type test we see in our lives, after measuring our own generation, we feel amazing, and we are completely talking about ourselves.
But can the horoscope and blood type really determine our own life, not necessarily, but because each of us will firmly believe in something in our hearts, and then find ways to find various evidence to support our own views, and finally form a hint to the self.
If we can apply the "Barnum effect" to feelings, or compounding, it is easy to make the other party have a sense of trust in you and achieve a relationship upgrade, so how to use it? Teach you a few specific steps.
To attack the other party's psychological defense, it is not a simple chat or a meeting that can be easily done, we need to spend our time to dig out the characteristics of the other party, so that he feels that you are the one who understands him best.
Based on the Barnum effect, we can conclude that most people are likely to have unrealistic optimism about their personality and abilities.
Smart people will stimulate the other party's awareness, so that the other party feels that when they are with you, they are constantly affirmed and encouraged, and the positive energy is bursting, then you are the one who understands him.
I give you an example, the boy said that the personality is not compatible to break up, said that the girl does not understand him, at the beginning the girl's various entanglements are useless, and then the girl changed the strategy, collected a lot of ex's recent situation, found that he has been really stressed recently, and then at ten o'clock in the evening, send a paragraph to the ex:
"You've been working so much overtime lately, it must be a lot of pressure." You are a Leo, a strong person, who thinks a lot about others and carries everything yourself. I also know that no matter how strong a person's appearance is, there will still be times when he is vulnerable inside, and when he is tired, he will rest well. You have such high demands on yourself, things will definitely develop in the direction you expect, take good care of yourself. ”
As soon as this was said, the ex who had been very cold came to a 180-degree attitude turn, and the "Barnum effect" played a role, and the boy was willing to communicate with his friends, which broke the ice and succeeded.
When the other person gradually relaxes the defense mechanism and begins to confide in you, all you need to do is use his behavior to further hit his heart.
For example, after breaking the ice, the boy confided in you, "When I was a child, my grades were good, my parents' expectations of me were relatively high, I did not want others to see my vulnerability, nor did I want others to see the imperfect me."
At this time, you can reply: "Before I thought you were an omnipotent person, later I slowly found that your strength is all disguised, in fact, your heart is also very soft, and sometimes you feel weak and powerless." ”
This sentence is also the use of the "Barnum effect", everyone will be vulnerable and helpless, as long as you say it, the other party will feel that you are experiencing his feelings with your heart, as long as you continue to use the "Barnum effect" to go deep into each other's hearts, the other party will feel that you know him very well, know him very well, and the intimacy of the two will rise.
There are many couples who break up are communication mode problems, such as one constantly complaining and accusing, the other repeatedly teaching, such a situation is actually no matter how much quarrel, can not solve the essential problem.
From a positive point of view, a breakup is actually a process of repairing a relationship, and it is an opportunity to use this opportunity to change this wrong pattern.
For example, you have complained that the other party is not self-motivated, lazy, does not do housework, and occasionally is not confident enough, but after each complaint, the other party has not changed, but more and more hate yourself.
So how do you guide the other person in the direction you want, that is, when you find that the other party is lazy and lazy, you can say, "I know that you are a person who has a position and can fight firmly for your dreams." ”
When you feel that the other party is not confident and begins to shrink back, you can say, "You know, I especially appreciate your independent confidence, which was the case when you were promoted before, and because of this, I feel that I will not worry about the future with you."
In fact, it is to "open your eyes and talk nonsense" when communicating with each other, and skillfully transform the shortcomings of the other party into advantages in affirmative language. And repeat and deepen such a point of view until it is deeply rooted in the other person's brain. Over time, the other party will really become better and better under your guidance, and care more and more about your opinion.
In fact, this is a process of deep love, using the "Barnum effect" can make a person who did not love you originally become love you, learned?
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C