Parents want their children to study hard and have a better future in the future.
But sometimes even if parents give all their efforts to their children, it is difficult for children to do what their parents expect. For children with heavy learning responsibilities, children are reluctant to go to school, which makes parents feel a headache.
High school students who were originally studying very well suddenly refused to go to school, refused to get up from sleep, and had poor mood, what to do?
Guangzhou heard that the youth psychological counseling is for you.
Wenwen is 13 years old this year, just a freshman in high school, originally had very good grades, and was also admitted to a good high school in the city. The family is very happy and hopes that her daughter can study hard and be admitted to a good university in the future.
However, two months after going to school, Wenwen suddenly did not want to go to school, and every day she was listless and her grades declined.
Ms. Hao thought that the child was a little uncomfortable when she first arrived at the new school, and after a while she adapted. Now the child has not been in school for more than a month, sleeps lazily every day, refuses to get up, and has no energy every day.
Her parents talked to her, and she didn't care. When her parents asked a few more questions or were in a hurry, she cried incessantly.
Ms. Hao was very anxious and did not know what was wrong with this child, that is, she did not go to school. Seeing a child like this, the parents are also very distressed, and they don't know how to persuade her.
So I took the child to Guangzhou to hear that the psychological counseling center made an appointment with the chief counselor Qiu Yihuan for adolescent psychological counseling.
At first, Wenwen was very reluctant to come over, and after being brought over by her parents, she was also very resistant and refused to speak.
Teacher Qiu Yihuan, a psychological counselor, is very able to understand Wenwen's current emotional state and behavior, so he communicates with Wenwen alone and slowly opens Wenwen's resistance and defense.
It turns out that Wenwen has been thinking about how bad the former primary school teachers and classmates were lately, thinking about those things is very sad, very depressed, sleeping badly at night, often insomnia, not wanting to get up in the morning, there is no spirit in class, I feel very bad, thinking of the primary school teachers and classmates are not good to themselves, it is even more sad. In such a vicious circle, the grades have dropped and it feels worse.
Wenwen herself is also very painful, and she also wants to change, but she always thinks uncontrollably, and she knows that the past things have passed, and they are all very small things, there is no need to think about it, but it is impossible to do it. I can't tell my parents about this kind of thing, I really don't know what to do.
▏ Everything makes sense, so why does Wenwen repeatedly think of the bad feelings of her elementary school teachers and classmates?
In the consultation, Wenwen and Teacher Qiu Yihuan discussed these things in detail, and it turned out that Wenwen was extremely introverted and inferior in the first to fifth grades of primary school, and she did not get along well with her classmates, and the teacher did not like her very much.
In fact, some of the things we experienced in the early years were very capable of influencing us now, although now we feel that it is a very small thing, it is not worth mentioning at all, but at that time for that small us, such things were very big, difficult to deal with, and brought us a lot of harm.
During the consultation process, Ms. Qiu helped Wenwen release the fear, anger, helplessness and depression that these things had brought her in the past.
When Wenwen is no longer trapped by the past, her inner energy is also enhanced. After evaluation, Teacher Qiu Yihuan felt that Wenwen could face what was happening now. So I went with her to explore why she would think back and forth during her freshman year of high school.
It turned out that Wenwen entered the first year of high school and changed to a new school, the classmates were from different places, she was a day student, and sometimes she especially wanted to communicate with the classmates in the class, but the more she thought about it, the worse the situation would be, and there would be some small troubles, which led to her frustration.
However, when I saw that the other students in the class got along more harmoniously, the atmosphere was very good, it would be very lost, I felt abandoned by the group, and when I tried to talk to others, I found that everyone did not think so, everyone hoped to get along well, there was no contradiction.
However, it is strange that sometimes I feel that others don't like me. I am also very strange to myself, sometimes showing an extroverted and cheerful personality, sometimes I am extremely introverted, I don't know what kind of person I am, I am very annoyed.
Adolescent children face a crisis of self-unity, and self-identity refers to the individual's attempt to combine all aspects related to himself to form a self that is self-determined, coordinated, and different from others.
In this process, the individual will seek self-development, self-affirmation and thinking and choice of some major questions about self-development, such as what kind of person I am, ideals, careers, values, outlook on life, etc.
In this process, the temporal dimension of the individual's past, present, and future development must be involved. The establishment of self-identity means that the individual has a full understanding of himself, can combine the past, present and future of the self into an organic whole, establish his own ideals and values, and make his own thinking about the development of the future self.
Wenwen is difficult to form a unified understanding of her personality because of her past experience, one moment she feels that she is cheerful and extroverted, one moment she feels that she is extremely introverted, one moment she feels that everyone likes herself, and at the other time she feels that she is not liked... Many contradictory views and evaluations filled her heart.
In the consultation, Mr. Qiu helped Wenwen to establish a healthy and good self according to her specific situation and learn to be self-accepting. After a period of psychological counseling, Wenwen learned to recognize and affirm herself, went to school happily, and studied hard for her dreams.
Guangzhou heard about the bar adolescent psychological counseling reminder
There must be a reason why children are bored with school and refuse to go to school. Parents force their children to go to school, the child will be very resistant in the heart, still have no intention of studying, but also affect the child's physical and mental health, hurt the parent-child relationship.
In the face of the problem of children's boredom, parents should try to analyze the reasons for their children's boredom, pay attention to the causes and consequences of everything, and find out what the reasons make children tired of learning, in order to be targeted, in order to have the effect of having half the work.