Zhuang Di Xiaomeng / Seeing the essence through the story
An original emotion number that deserves your attention
Illustration/from the web
Recently saw a video posted by a blogger on the Internet:
When she got married, her father did not ask for a bride price, but when it was her sister's turn to get married, her father insisted on a bride price of 100,000 yuan and the real estate deed was named.
She did not understand her father's intentions, and his father said to him in a serious tone: "You have a house and a car, and your income is high, who in-laws dare to despise you?" But your sister is different, she has nothing, so I have to increase her confidence in the in-laws' house through the bride price and the house. ”
According to the blogger himself, she did live well after marriage, her in-laws treated her like a biological daughter, and her husband also loved her, as for whether her sister would get the same treatment after marrying, it is unknown.
Because he has nothing and is afraid of being despised by his in-laws, he tries his best to hold the money of his in-laws in his hands, so as to improve his family status and make his in-laws dare not slacken off.
This is the real psychology of many ordinary girls when they raise their requirements.
One's own conditions are inversely proportional to the requirements for marriage
A friend once said to me:
"Men have the conditions to find excellent women with high education and good jobs, and never touch the bottom women who have nothing." It's not just about post-marital quality and impact on the next generation, the most important thing is that women with poor conditions ask for more. ”
First- and second-tier cities usually do not pay much attention to the bride price, and even if there is, it is only a few tens of thousands of yuan to go, but for some relatively backward remote areas, high-priced bride price is a very common phenomenon.
Most of the highly educated women will not ask for a high-priced bride price, they have a very positive view, marrying someone, and the marriage requirements are often determined according to the specific situation of the man.
Most women who have nothing don't, they want a house, a car, a bride price, three gold, and they never think from the perspective of a man.
This type of woman has a characteristic, that is, she especially likes to have child warnings, and as long as the requirements she makes are not met, she threatens men with childbirth warnings.
This is also the main reason why many men are reluctant to marry women at the bottom.
The better the conditions, the fewer the demands; the worse the conditions, the more demands.
This is to be replaced by any normal man will choose the former, if someone chooses the latter, it is also because of their own poor conditions and no way.
Relying on the bride price to pinch the in-laws is not a long-term solution
It is often seen on the Internet that a woman says: "Women do not want a bride price, after marrying, they will be despised by their in-laws, they will think that you are not worth it." ”
It is not known whether this idea is realistic or exaggerated, at least in first- and second-tier cities.
What's more, if this situation really happens, it can only prove that the family's character is very poor, and since their character is very poor, then even if you want a high dowry, you may not be able to get their respect.
Even if they respect you, it is also for the sake of money, and such a relationship itself is unstable, unless their family suffers and is poor for a lifetime, once you turn over, you will be abandoned, even if you are not abandoned, they will not respect you.
Everyone must understand a truth: a woman is bullied by her in-laws because she does not ask for a bride price, not because of the bride price, but because you have found the wrong person.
If you don't understand the root cause of this, you won't be too good to marry anyone.
If you want to rely on the bride price to pinch a large family with bad character, your ending will not be too good.
Just as the so-called country is easy to change, the nature is difficult to move, they are not good people in their bones, how can they treat you kindly?
Now because you're taking their money, they ostensibly let you get three points, but when you encounter something, I'm afraid you see humanity that's worse than a ghost.
The root of a woman's happiness is to marry the right person
A woman who wants to have a happy marriage and wants to live a good life must find a good husband.
First, look less at the conditions, more on the character, the character
Don't cling to conditions, those who can't determine the happiness of your marriage, the key to really determining whether you are doing well or not, lies in the character and character of the other party.
A person with good character and good personality has a sense of responsibility and knows how to take care of the family, no matter what his conditions are, you will not be too bad.
But if the other party's character is corrupt, the personality is rough, and it is only a good material condition, you will only suffer after you marry.
Second, understand the family
Marriage is not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families, so be sure to understand each other's family before getting married.
Don't feel that you can't live together, his family has nothing to do with you, the family is a family for a lifetime, no one can get rid of the original family.
Everyone will affect the small family, so in this process, everyone must first understand the character of the other family, find it bad and immediately turn around and leave, do not jump into the fire pit.
Third, avoid flash marriage
Nowadays, many young people know each other through blind dates, and there is nothing wrong with blind dates, but many people are advocating flash marriage.
They went on a blind date at the urging of their parents and stepped into the palace of marriage in a month, and such a marriage actually has many drawbacks.
Marriage is a lifelong event, rushed, everyone must give enough time to understand each other and family.
After a detailed understanding and careful consideration, it is decided whether to enter the palace of marriage.
Original author of the Zhuang Di Xiaomeng/Emotional Column
May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as scheduled.