Truly confident children are never boastful, and parents must learn these 5 golden rules

Pediatrician Bao Xiulan

2024-05-20 20:00Published in the Chief Physician of Pediatrics, Peking Union Medical College Hospital, Shaanxi

Seeing other children's confidence and sunshine, but their own children are silent, shy and introverted, many parents say in their hearts that it is impossible not to be anxious.

As a result, some parents often take their children to play outside, or participate in some public activities, hoping that their children can be confident and bold.

Who knows, instead of becoming cheerful and confident, the child is more timid and hesitant because of the fear of failure.

In fact, cultivating children's self-confidence requires scientific methods.

Truly confident children are never boastful, and parents must learn these 5 golden rules

01. Treat your child with full respect

As parents, there are times when we force our children to do things they don't want to do for the sake of their own face. For example, ask your child to show off his talents at a family gathering, or force him to give his favorite toy to a friend's child.

As everyone knows, not respecting children's wishes and forcing them to behave will only make the originally introverted child become inferior, and the originally confident child becomes more sensitive.

Because, children who are not respected since childhood cannot form an independent personality and cannot feel the happiness they deserve.

Respect means treating the child as a thoughtful and independent individual, rather than being condescending and a good teacher as a parent.

Respect for a child can manifest itself in a variety of ways, the most obvious being respect for the child's choices. When he is young, he can let his child choose his favorite clothes and clothing, and when he grows up, he can arrange his study and work independently.

Respect makes people confident, and the greatest blessing for children is to have parents who know how to respect themselves, everything is negotiable, there is room for choice, and the seeds of self-confidence will quietly take root in their hearts.

02. Affirm the child in a timely manner

Have you ever noticed that you can easily spot the strengths of other children, but always focus on your own children's shortcomings?

You also know that your own children also do well, but they are always stingy with praise, and focus on the areas where those children are not doing well, and often emphasize repeatedly.

In fact, if we do this often, not only will we not help our children to correct their behavior, but it will seriously damage their self-confidence. If you remind too much, it will also form a strong imprint in the child's heart - I can't do this well, I can't do it, which is very detrimental to the child's self-confidence.

Many times, children come to know themselves from their parents. As parents, we should magnify the things that our children have done well, and give timely recognition to their progress and success, so as to further strengthen their self-recognition and thus enhance their self-confidence.

Everyone wants to be affirmed, recognized, and firmly chosen. Affirmation is like a beam of light, which can always bring great spiritual satisfaction and psychological comfort.

03. Always encourage your child

Any progress is slow and gradual, and so is a child's growth.

As parents, we need to allow our children to explore, try and learn new skills when it is safe to do so, rather than focusing on repetitive skills that have already been learned.

In fact, the process of learning and mastering new skills can help children gradually gain self-confidence, as they prove their ability to take on challenges and master new skills through first-hand experience.

If the child's progress is slow or even frustrated in the learning process, parents should give timely encouragement and comfort.

Parents' encouragement is like a steady stream of water, injecting inexhaustible strength into children's hearts, which will allow them to break through obstacles, move forward bravely, and shine on their own stage of life!

There is a good saying: "Parents with high emotional intelligence are the audience who applaud their children, and they are the best lighting artists for their children's shining points." ”

Parents' encouragement, praise and support are the most precious wealth of children, and they are also their greatest confidence!

04. Know how to appreciate children

Educators believe that every child is born with innate talents and traits, but unfortunately, parents often fail to find out.

As parents, we are often swept away by a uniform "social standard", focusing on the distance between our children and the standard, but ignoring their own shining points. Most commonly, parents will use academic performance as the only criterion to measure whether their child is doing well or not.

In fact, every child has different hobbies and specialties, and helping children discover these traits can also help children better understand themselves and enhance their self-confidence.

As Hayao Miyazaki said, "The true love of parents for their children is understanding, appreciation, and encouragement." ”

Parents who know how to appreciate can always find sparkle in their children. For example, if a child does not like to socialize, it can also be understood as having a rich heart and being cautious in making friends; The child's stubborn personality is actually a more principled performance.

"All our lives, we want to get rid of the expectations of others and find our true selves", and parents' appreciation of their children is a light in their hearts, which will eventually guide them to find their own direction!

05. Love children unconditionally

Before the age of 6 is a critical period for children to develop a sense of security, which is also the emotional basis for them to develop self-confidence and trust in others. The undifferentiated love of parents for their children is an important source of their sense of security, and love is the foundation of all education.

The reason why Sayaka in the movie "Bottom Spice Girls" was able to counterattack all the way from a poor student to being admitted to the best university in Japan is not only because of her own hard work, but also because she has a mother who always believes in her, tolerates her, and loves her unconditionally.

Mom will allow her to do what she likes, and no matter what the people around her say, Mom will stand by her side. And her mother's evaluation of herself has never changed because of what she has achieved.

Life is a long and bumpy road, failure and frustration are inevitable, and some people succeed because they never give up easily. Because as soon as they look back, they will find that their parents, who love them dearly, are always behind them applauding, shouting and cheering them on.

The unconditional love of parents is priceless and the most powerful for children, and it will make children more courageous to work hard, to try and make mistakes, to face failure, and to live a shining self!

Socrates said, "To educate is to really guide a person's heart and help him to become what he is." ”

Only when parents fully respect their children, affirm their children in a timely manner, encourage their children often, know how to appreciate their children, and most importantly, love their children unconditionally, will their children's hearts give birth to endless strength. This power will invisibly increase children's self-confidence and help them start their lives bravely!

Every child is a spirit scattered by God to the world, and needs the careful care of his parents.

Please plant a seed of self-confidence for your child, and you will reap fruitful results in the end.

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