Not long ago, I took my son to play with his classmates.
When I went to deliver him, I just wanted to play for a little while.
As a result, they had a lot of fun, and the son wanted to stay in their house and play for a while.
In the end, I left my son at his classmate's house and went home alone.
Since then, when my son returned home, he would play the game of Plants vs. Zombies, playing the role of zombie every day.
At first, I didn't pay much attention, and after a long time, I found that my son liked to play this game very much.
I also understood that my son was very deeply influenced by his peers.
I didn't stop my son from playing this game.
Because in the child's world, everything is novel.
So, as long as it doesn't involve hurting someone, I'll allow him to do it.
And I bought my son a lot of picture books about plants and zombies, and he liked them very much, and asked me to read them to him every day.
He also gets along well with the children because they share a common "hobby".
Life cannot avoid associating with others.
From the moment children are born, they begin to contact people in the world, and the first person is their parents.
As the child grows older, the child begins to go to kindergarten.
From the first day he started school, he actually began to socialize independently in the true sense of the word.
When children interact with others, parents don't really need to interfere too much.
However, when children are young, they are very fond of imitation.
When friends like to watch Ultraman, they also like to watch Ultraman.
When friends like to play dinosaur games, they also like to play along.
When friends like to talk dirty, they still learn...
Therefore, a "good" friend may inspire children to grow better.
When the child is young,
Parents feel that the child is too introverted, always playing by himself, afraid that he is not social, and no one wants to play with him.
When the child grows up,
Parents think that their children are too playful, always following a group of children, crazy and crazy, and worried that he will make "bad friends".
As a parent, it is indeed a little difficult.
So, what is the correct attitude for adults about children making friends?
Parents remember three principles to keep their children out of the way.
Don't be afraid to suffer losses
Sometimes, there are always some contradictions between children.
When everyone is happy, they can't wait to play with each other for a day and a night.
When everyone is in trouble, they want to never see each other for the rest of their lives.
Therefore, the "noisy" between children is normal, and parents do not have to worry.
Imagine, isn't that true among us adults?
No matter how good friends and good relationships are, sometimes it is inevitable to make some contradictions with each other, let alone children who are not deeply involved in the world?
Sometimes, we can't make our children too calculating.
In fact, children rarely think about it.
The point is that adults are too calculating.
We all know that everyone should cherish their time.
There is no need to waste energy and time on useless things.
However, adults are often very concerned about these small things.
We have a relative in my hometown who sells eggs, and the neighbor next to us happens to be selling eggs.
They usually get along well on the surface, but in fact, secretly, they compete with each other and look down on each other.
However, their children have been playing together since childhood, which is considered to be a "girlfriend".
The two children have been glued together since school, inseparable.
Therefore, they also often quarrel over some things.
When the parents were not in front of them, after the two children quarreled, it was not long before they played together again.
However, one day, the children of relatives picked up a water gun on the side of the road.
His good friend said that he had seen it first and should have kept it for him, and in the end it was a lot of trouble.
Because both boys like water guns, in the end, in order to "compete" for this water gun, the two people fight each other.
My good friend's mother happened to come back from outside and saw this scene.
In an instant, this mother was not calm, and went directly to grab the child of a relative's family and asked, "How do you beat my son?" Who gave you such a boldness? ”
This mother was particularly angry and used her fists to scare the children of her relatives.
Suddenly, the children of the relatives were terrified and crying.
Relatives in the courtyard, heard their own children, as if tearing their hearts and lungs crying.
She ran toward the cry, only to see that it was the hostess of the neighbor's house who was bullying her son.
The two women wrestled with each other like crazy tigers.
Finally, it alarmed the entire village.
Since then, the two families have never interacted with each other again, and a pair of "girlfriends" have been separated.
Until now, I have heard people in the village say that the children of the two families seem to be enemies, and no one pays attention to the other.
After listening to this story, I can't help but sigh.
If parents always "cut through the thorns" for their children, do they not know whether they are for the sake of their children or harm their children?
The elderly often say: Suffering loss is a blessing.
This sentence is very wise.
It is not the literal meaning that people think, and every time it is wronged, it is swallowed in the stomach.
We tell our children not to be afraid of loss, not to blindly tolerate others, but in the face of anything, do not waste their precious time on "useless" disputes.
Such a loss is not a pure loss, but a strategy of retreating into progress, and it is a general pattern of all kinds of rivers.
Don't interfere
When children grow up, they all have their own "circle of friends" and they will make different friends.
We generally encourage children to take the initiative to make friends with positive energy, and are reluctant to let children contact those "bad children".
This is a very normal thing.
Because we are afraid that our own children will also become a "bad boy".
As the saying goes: those who are close to Zhu are red and close to ink are black.
That's the way it is.
You may have heard a story: Meng Mu three moves.
When Mencius was very young, his father died and he was raised by his mother. Mother was a simple woman, but she was wise.
Mencius's first family lived next to a tomb, and when he was a child, he often saw others come to the funeral for funerals, and over time, Mencius began to learn the rules of funeral sacrifices, and sometimes he would set up a "grave" with children to worship.
Meng's mother knew that her child was doing these things, and she was very anxious, so she moved with Mengzi.
Mencius's second home lived next to the market, which was bustling with people every day. Mencius went to the market for a long time. Mencius found a group of children and learned to shout and sell in a similar way.
Meng's mother felt that it was not suitable for children to wander around the market every day and learn to be a businessman. So they started moving again.
This time, Meng's mother chose a quieter place, near the public school. The people who came out of the academy were all knowledgeable and gentle. Mencius saw that everyone else was reading, so he heard it himself, read and studied at home, and learned etiquette.
At this time, Mencius's mother said with confidence: "This place is the most suitable for my son!" ”
The story of Meng's mother's three migrations tells us that the environment is very important for the growth of a child. The people around us also have a great influence on us.
When our children take the initiative to make friends, parents do not have to interfere too much.
Because, sometimes parents interfere wrongly, which can backfire.
The only thing that can be done is that parents must enrich themselves and always maintain the ability to learn, so that they can attract excellent friends.
When your child has his own unique personality in terms of knowledge, quality, three views and other aspects, it will naturally attract friends who can "talk".
Because children also have their own "values", only people who match their values will be willing to interact with each other.
Let the child be the one who influences others, make himself strong, the flowers bloom, the butterflies come...
Not afraid to lose "friends"
Everyone is afraid of loneliness, whether adults or children, they are eager to integrate into the group and have their own social circle.
Because we are all social people, we need to interact with others.
But sometimes the circles are different and don't have to be strong.
When children go to school, they build their own "little circles", sometimes two people, sometimes three people, sometimes a group of people.
They have common interests and hobbies, and they have things or topics that they like in common.
Over time, children will have their own ideas, and everyone's opinions will be different.
So, friendship is not wishful thinking, but a two-way street.
Others have the right not to play with you, and you also have the right to choose who not to play with.
You don't have to curry favor with anyone in order to make friends.
Don't please others for fear of losing a "friend", because the relationship you get is not really friendship.
When a guy makes you happy on a regular basis, you can take him as a friend.
Because true friendship is what makes you feel comfortable, not wronged.
Alienate your friends for the first time. They don't really like you, so you don't have to be too upset.
Whether you like it or not, some people always leave you first and face it calmly.
Stay away from the person who consumes you and don't be afraid to lose such a "friend" because he was never your friend.....
Write at the end:
Friendship is a two-way choice,
Everyone has the right to make friends,
There is also the possibility of losing friends,
Tell the child,
It is a good thing to meet a good friend,
It's okay to lose a "friend",
Don't rely on gifts to get friends. You have to contribute your sincere love and learn how to win a person's heart in the right "way." - Suragdi
Don't force your classmates to like you,
It is important not to lose "your own bottom line".
Make friends with great people,
More importantly, strengthen yourself.