People who are married well are pretending to be stupid

Author: Yu Xiaonian

Source: Ten Point Reading (ID: duhaoshu)

I have heard an interesting analogy: "A happy marriage is made between a blind woman and a deaf man." ”

It seems like a joke, but it makes sense to think about it.

In a family, if two people are more real, then life is too tired, and the marriage will not last long.

And those who have consummated their marriages have mostly learned to pretend to be stupid.

There was a blogger who told her parents' marriage story online, which was interesting.

Her parents have been married for 25 years and have always been particularly happy, and the people around her are envious.

Her mother was a beauty lover and would often hide her father from buying new clothes.

When you buy new clothes, you don't wear them immediately, but you cut off the new clothes tag and secretly put them in the cabinet for several days before taking them out and wearing them.

When the father asked, buy new clothes?

The mother replied, "If there is, I have bought it for a long time."

The father smiled and did not care, but he knew in his heart that this was the new clothes that his mother had bought.

Sometimes on weekends, my father would use the excuse of working overtime in the study, but in fact he would close the door and secretly play games.

The mother didn't say anything, and sometimes she would wash the fruit and send it in.

When she was a child, she never understood why her parents knew each other was lying, but they didn't expose it.

She didn't understand until after she got married.

Two people are married together, not in prison.

You can't get everything out of the water and be clear.

To pretend to be stupid, to respect each other, too calculating and calculating, life will not be interesting.

As Professor Zeng Shiqiang said:

Keep your eyes open before you get married, and keep one eye open and one eye closed after you get married.

In this way, everyone lives a good life, definitely not to lie to themselves, but to respect both sides.

No one can stand to be picky, as long as you are picky, the other party must be wrong.

After a person has been carefully chosen, you should not pick and choose, you should not be critical.

It is difficult to choose a person, and if you can't live with him every day, you can't live with yourself.

And since she and her husband learned the secret of their parents' happy marriage, they found that life can be so beautiful.

Pretending to be stupid in marriage is not hypocrisy, pandering to each other, but respecting each other.

Yes, marriage is like a double spring, pretending to be stupid together, in order to have endless fun.

Those small hobbies that don't violate the principles, the bottom line, the little things.

Take a step back from each other, solve the trivial things in life by pretending to be stupid, and the days can be swaying.

There is a topic online:

"What happened to the men who liked to reason with their wives?"

Here's a high-praise answer:

"Most of the men who like to reason with their wives have become ex-husbands, and if they are reasonable, please go to court, and the home is a place to talk about love."

In a word, the truth of marital happiness is broken:

Home is a place of love, not a place of reason.

There are too many things in life, from what to eat for dinner to what kind of kindergarten the child attends, and whether to report for extracurricular classes.

Teeth and tongues still fight and collide, not to mention two people living together.

Many things are never right or wrong, and there is no need to argue about right and wrong.

Winning the reason, losing the feelings, not worth it.

Chen Ming once told a personal experience of his.

Once, he accompanied his wife to go shopping.

His wife took a fancy to a bag and wanted to buy it.

When his wife was looking at the bag, he peeked at the label next to it, and the price of the bag was more expensive.

Chen Ming pulled his wife aside behind the back of the shopping guide and told a lot of truths, saying that thrift and thrift are virtues, talking about the economic situation of the family, saying the benefits of supporting domestic products, and so on.

He thought he had convinced his wife, but she blinked and asked him, is his reasoning important, or is she more important?

What can Chen Ming do?

I could only obediently swipe my bank card and buy the bag that my wife liked, although expensive.

Chen Ming is the champion of strange things, and he is clever in the debate field, is he really not able to debate his wife?

The ancients said that the way of the saints is not to argue.

And the way of marriage, even more so.

In marriage, two people get along, if they calculate everywhere and fight for right and wrong, then even the best feelings will be consumed.

In fact, this bag is not bought, and they are a better choice for the present.

But Chen Ming was willing to pretend to be stupid to argue with his wife, buy this bag, and coax her to be happy.

It is difficult to buy the habit of loving a wife, and the wife is more important than the truth.

As a saying goes online:

"No one is a fool. It's just that sometimes we choose to pretend to be stupid and feel what is called happiness. ”

Watching "Young Pi", the couple lin Dawei and Wang Shengnan in the play left a deep impression on me.

The husband Lin Dawei is kind and generous, while the wife Wang Shengnan has a sharp temper, a hot temperament, a little cleanliness, and often nags her husband.

"Toothpaste has to be squeezed from the middle, pants are worn for several days without changing, get up without folding the quilt, eat to know it and spit ..."

For his wife's accusations, Lin Dawei never returned his mouth, smiled and said: "You are all reasonable." ”

Some people say that Lin Dawei is too spineless, subservient to his wife, a posture of "bowing his head and saying his ears", and his wife is what she says.

In fact, this is a technique for him to deal with the contradictions of family life, pretending to be stupid.

I can't hear your accusations against me, you say I'm wrong is I'm wrong.

This kind of pretending to be stupid, it seems to be a kind of submission, it seems that there is no status in the family, but it is actually a love for the other half.

Because Lin Dawei understands that his wife runs the life of a family, but also goes out to work, work hard, as a husband, the wife has a little temper, and if she can bear it, she must endure.

Understand your difficulties and be willing to tolerate your bad temper.

In Happy Marriage, Han Gottman said, "The hardest company in the world to run is the family; the most difficult relationship is husband and wife." ”

Marriage is never a fairy tale, and there is no perfect partner.

The art of marriage is not to expect the husband to be a god with a halo and a wife to be an angel in flight.

It is not to demand perfection, but to cultivate resilience, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.

Looking at those who are happy in marriage, marriage will be appropriate to pretend to be stupid, so as to harvest the sweetness and beauty that belong to it.

Read a sentence:

"There are only a very few people in the world who can interpret love to the fullest, grow up in love, and combine their lives with those of their partners until death."

The secret of their lifelong companionship lies in knowing how to respect and tolerate each other's differences, only in this way will the goddess of love care for them forever and the flower of love can flourish forever. ”

Love is not about finding a perfect person, but about learning to appreciate the imperfect person with perfect eyes.

No one is perfect, everyone has flaws.

A lot of times you're a little confused, and I'm going to pretend to be stupid.

Tolerate each other, love and respect each other, and you will find that happiness is all around you.

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