More and more parents are seeking psychological counseling and help because of their children's school weariness and Internet addiction.
01
Han Ming is 13 years old and a junior high school student.
He was an only child, playing mobile phones and games every day, day and night, not going to school. Buying things is generous, hoping to get instant satisfaction of everything you want, otherwise it will be noisy, and sometimes the parents say a few more words, Han Ming will "explode", and even start with his parents.
Every morning in the bed, Han Ming didn't know whether to pretend to sleep or not wake up, how could not wake up, unwilling to go to school. Sometimes I promised my parents to go to school the next day, but I couldn't do it afterwards, which made my parents very helpless.
At night, it is always very excited, staying up late to play mobile phones, parents are worried, worried about their son's health and studies, persuade their sons to play less mobile phones, and resume school as soon as possible, but Han Ming either ignores his parents' bitter mouths, or pushes his parents out of the door in a fit of rage. Sometimes they will say that they do not need to take the college entrance examination, and they can be very successful in the future if they do not go to college... In the face of their son's "crooked reasoning", parents do not know how to help their children although they have a headache.
In desperation, my parents went to the Guangzhou Listening Bar Psychological Counseling Center for help after learning from many sources.
02
Li Li was a senior in high school, slept all day in class, did not listen to lectures, did not do homework, and her academic performance dropped sharply. Not interested in anything, not socializing with people. According to the feedback of the school teacher, Li Li could not see whether she was happy or sad, and she looked wooden, and curled up by the window like a plant between classes. I was particularly sleepy every day, and although I drank a lot of coffee and tea, I still didn't look sober.
But sometimes she will suddenly be very excited, singing, dancing, joking, playing, very excited, and do not know under what circumstances she will suddenly turn the wind and be very irritable, smashing things, cursing and yelling.
Her parents often found that she was still playing mobile phones, playing games, and chatting with netizens late at night, not only ineffective persuasion, but also sometimes slamming mobile phones and slamming doors, and her mental state was worse the next day. From the beginning of reluctantly going to school to sleep in the classroom, to not going to school for 1 or 2 days a week, gradually developed to not going to school every day.
Her parents were in a hurry, but Li Li's temper was so big that she was "on fire" and could not persuade her to go to school at all. Moreover, she also felt that she was fine and was reluctant to carry out psychological counseling.
In this case, helpless parents have to unilaterally make an appointment to come to psychological counseling to see how to help their children.
Guangzhou listened to the interpretation of teacher Li Jianxue, chief expert of psychological counseling
In the above two cases, the appearance is that the child is addicted to the Internet or does not want to go to school. But through communication and evaluation, you will find that behind their problems, there are various emotional problems hidden.
After a series of consultations and evaluations, Han Ming and Li Li suffered from "bipolar disorder" (also known as bipolar disorder).
Simply put, bipolar disorder = depression + mania, it is a mood disorder.
The key feature of bipolar disorder is extreme mood swings, which fluctuate back and forth between the peaks of mania and the troughs of depression, deeply affecting a person's emotional experience and "emotions."
A netizen described the experience of bipolar disorder:
Manic period: Lao Tzu is a fairy ~ hahahahahahahaha Tomorrow...... This time must be done...)
Depression period: I tm nothing, hey (crying) don't want to move.
Manic Period: The Fallen is a Talent!!!
Depression period: it is really tm tired to live, I want to escape, but the only way to really escape is death.
The typical symptoms of a manic attack are extreme excitement, extreme irritability and sensitivity, increased activity, almost no need to sleep, sparks of thinking, and then these symptoms are embodied in rapid speech, self-confidence in their own abilities, energy and mobility will be significantly improved, and the conviction that no one can stop them.
After a break in mania, patients may gradually spiral into depression or suddenly fall into major depression without warning—some patients will move from the mild depression that is forming to the next, while others may suddenly develop severe depressive symptoms when they are feeling well in all aspects of their lives.
At this time, the patient may become extremely depressed or depressed, feel tired but difficult to sleep, have a decreased appetite, lack of vitality, lack of interest in things, inability to enjoy things that ordinary people can enjoy, often feel helpless and hopeless, and even conceive of suicide plans in contemplation.
Teenagers are in the most critical period of growth in life, so parents are very anxious, worried that their children's school and future will be ruined.
▼ So, what are the characteristics of adolescent bipolar disorder? When a child suffers from bipolar disorder, what should parents do?
Build the right cognition and understand the child
1. Many children diagnosed with bipolar disorder have to take a break from school, mostly because of the condition.
First of all, the child's extreme mood fluctuations are very challenging to the patience of parents. When he was in a good mood, whatever he said to him, he said yes. For example, promise parents to buy a mobile phone and go to school, but words do not count, and promises cannot be done; Some children go for a day or two and find it difficult to stick to it and give up halfway; Some children asked to transfer schools, and as a result, they did not go after transferring schools for less than 2 weeks; Some children agreed to go to school next Monday, then postponed it to the next week, and after a few weeks, said they would not go to school; Even when some children go to school, they are dozing off in class, do not do homework, and are frequently complained about by teachers.
Therefore, bipolar children sometimes think and behave out of touch, they sometimes think and say very well, but can not do, this is what parents need to understand, because the child's emotions are fluctuating, when his emotions, feelings change, it is easy to give up.
Parents should establish a correct understanding of bipolar disorder and learn to understand their children.
2. Understand that behind these misdeeds in children is a disease
Many parents complain that after their children fall ill, especially if they are suspended from school at home, they play with mobile phones and computers all day, go to bed late and get up late, and black and white are reversed.
Parents must understand this behavior.
When the child is depressed, there will be some characteristics: anxiety, avoidance, fear, hostility, dislike of subjects, bad experiences and feelings will make him repulsive to school; For some events, children are prone to interpret them from a negative point of view, thus becoming hostile to others (teachers, classmates). In this state, he would avoid school.
In real-world interpersonal communication, children have interpersonal barriers, are often nervous, and are easily frustrated and distressed. And facing all kinds of practical problems, which is very depressing and desperate for them. But the virtual world can give them a little comfort, on the one hand, playing online games is also a social way, you can get a certain sense of identity from others, on the other hand, he plays games very well, can find a sense of happiness and value, this situation will lead to his addiction to mobile phones.
For people with bipolar disorder, in 24 hours, the morning is a relatively poor state of the day, and the state after 7 or 8 pm is better and more exciting.
Therefore, many parents see that children will turn black and white upside down on the Internet, play games, and do not want to get up in the morning.
After understanding this situation, parents should learn to understand their children on the one hand, and understand that behind these inappropriate behaviors of children is a disease. On the other hand, actively seek help to cure the child's disease, when the child's condition gradually eases, the child finds the goal of effort, and the behavior of addiction to the Internet will gradually decrease.
Improve the relationship with the child and help the child
Bipolar children are often more sensitive, smart, high IQ, ideologically tall, action can not keep up, on the one hand, they are afraid of school, on the other hand, they also want to go to school, worried that the basic academics are not completed, the starting point of later life is relatively low, so he is also very contradictory, very painful, but do not know how to do.
When the relationship between parents and children is hostile, no matter what the child does, he is not willing, and the parent also feels that the child is very rebellious.
Only by establishing a good relationship with the child will the child be willing to cooperate with the parents and seek the help of professional psychological counseling.
Before the child does the counseling, the parents need to come over and communicate the child's situation with the counselor.
Under the guidance of the counselor, parents can understand their children, parent-child relationship is good, parents and children are like friends. When parents are distressed and troubled because of their children's problems, but do not know how to help their children, very painful and helpless, please ask the children can accompany their parents, go to study together, seek the help of a counselor, and help parents reduce pain? In this case, the child is more willing to come over.
3
Reduce negative stimuli to your child
When the child is emotionally manic and excited, parents should not have a positive conflict with the child, sometimes they can leave for a while, wait for the child's mood to calm down, and then communicate with the child.
At this time, do not stimulate the child's problem, because every time there is a recurrence, the child is noisy and hysterical, and the situation will be aggravated. For example, if the child is irritable and angry as soon as he mentions it back to school, the parents do not mention it for the time being, and do not force the child first, otherwise the condition is easy to worsen. Wait until the condition is relieved before returning to school, do not be too hasty.
Parents should also pay attention to creating a good family environment for their children, not overly harsh, and not to put too much pressure on their children. Try to communicate peacefully and reduce quarrels.
Even if it is a stage of rehabilitation, it also needs lifelong attention: guide children to pay attention to their own large emotional changes, pay attention to the impact of the environment on themselves, try to avoid contact with information that will bring negative stimuli to themselves, learn to manage and control emotions, change wrong cognitive patterns and thinking habits, and develop good living habits.
4
Guide the child to accept the sick self,
Encourage your child to stick to counseling
Children with bipolar disorder are unusually active during the manic period, but deeply blame themselves when they fall into the depressed period; Either you are in an anxious and energetic impulse, or the whole world is at a standstill and there is no way out. It's like the soul is lost, fluctuating in the ups and downs, unable to find its way.
Psychological counselors are the stable and firm companions and guides of the parties.
Depression and mania, able to experience two kinds of life more than others. On the positive side, depression can make a person more acute and deeply aware of everything around them; Mania can increase creativity and self-confidence. Many people with bipolar disorder are like children who have been given superpowers by the care of God, and have innate advantages in art or music or some aspects that ordinary people cannot match.
The process of disease confrontation is also a process of self-exploration and learning psychological knowledge.
Even if a person suffers from bipolar disorder, he can still have the most wonderful life.
As a parent, you need to understand and accompany your child as much as possible to help him accept his sick self.
Bipolar children are not solved by counseling once or twice, and the counselor will guide the child to face his emotions, accompany the person to grow, let him have the strength to manage emotions, and learn to study, work and live with emotions.
This requires a process. Therefore, parents should encourage, accompany and support their children to adhere to counseling, and encourage children to learn and live with emotions.
Patients with major mania and major depression need to be combined with medication during psychological counseling and hospitalization when severe illness occurs.
Li Jianxue
Chief expert of the Psychological Counseling Center