I once watched such an interview, the reporter asked passers-by: What is the taste of mother?
Some people say that it is cold cucumber and fried crispy meat, some people say white-boiled prawns, iron pot stewed noodles, and some people say that it is fried pork with chili peppers and potato brisket.
Probably everyone has such a dish in the depths of their memories, which is the taste we miss the most when we are wandering the world, and the warmest waiting when we are frustrated by failure.
For the famous industrialist Kazuo Inamori, the warmest food in memory is small bean porridge.
When he was a child, his mother would often bring him a bowl of chestnut cake and brown sugar boiled small bean porridge, and then sit smiling opposite the steaming bean porridge and gaze at Inamori Kazuo with gentle eyes.
All of this is recorded in the book Kazuo Inamori: My Mother's Teachings Changed My Life.
The book tells how his mother took care of her family and educated her children during the difficult years, and her words and deeds deeply affected the growth of Kazuo Inamori and gave him the motivation to keep moving forward.
Perhaps as a parent, providing a superior material environment for children is not the most important thing.
In the process of growing up, it is a gift that children feel loved for life.
01
The mother's emotions are the child's world view.
Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said: "The influence of mothers on children is huge, especially the influence of emotions, which will accompany them for a lifetime." ”
A mother, accustomed to sighing and sighing, will raise a child who is dejected;
Positive and optimistic mothers will also bring full of positive energy to their children.
Kazuo Inamori's mother, Jimi, is a strong and optimistic woman.
In the early years, the family opened a printing factory, and the life was still relatively rich.
However, the outbreak of war destroyed the lives of the common people, and all the machines in the family were destroyed.
My father was devastated, in a slump, and couldn't do anything.
But life has to go on, and someone has to support the family.
Mother was not depressed, she first took all her better kimonos to sell, and then she got up early and ran to the countryside greedily, doing some small business for food.
Even though life is difficult, the mother never wants to let her children drop out of school, and she will make a bento every day for the children to take to school.
Kazuo Inamori writes in the book:
"All my mother did was to face life with openness and optimism day after day, to truly show her children the appearance of hard work, and to guard her children with her unparalleled love."
It is this kind of love that gives Kazuo Inamori the courage to face the difficulties of life at every moment in his future life.
Writer Mo Yan has also told the story of his mother.
At that time, the family life was bleak, the mother was sick, but she never lost hope, and she was still working hard every day, and she still hummed a little song in her mouth.
For a time, my father was framed, my mother had a recurrence of an old illness, and there was no money for medical treatment.
The family was afraid of the mother's short-sightedness, but the mother firmly told the children: "Rest assured! If Prince Yan didn't tell me, he wouldn't go. ”
It is such a sentence that gives the children great comfort and hope for the future.
In recalling these past events, Mo Yan said:
"The courage to struggle to survive in the face of suffering contained in my mother's words will always accompany me and inspire me."
Although materially poor, the power of love is enough to keep people passionate about life.
Such a mother can bring to the child not only the warmth of childhood, but also the nourishment of life.
02
The company of parents is the best love for children.
In The memories of Kazuo Inamori, his parents were busy and toiling.
In order to maintain the business of the printing house with small profits and high sales, my father was busy from morning to night every day, even on Sundays.
The mother was even more laborious, taking care of the housework and childcare, as well as assisting with the workers' affairs.
But as soon as there is a break, parents will take their children out to play.
They pick loquat together, recuperate together in the hot springs, and eat sukiyaki pots in a lively way.
Professor Li Meijin said: "No matter how good a substance is given to a child, it is better to give him the companionship of his heart." ”
No matter how many things there are, we must also leave some time for children, work is for a better life, and the family is happy and happy, which is the most important thing.
This reminds me of Deng Chao and Sun Li.
Turning over their Weibo, a lot of sharing is the daily interaction with children, accompanying children to look up dictionaries, play games, take children out to dig sweet potatoes, set up stalls on the street to sell things, and so on.
As actors, their work is very busy.
But I know in my heart that this play will not be picked up and there will be a next one, but the growth of the child, once missed, will never go back.
In an interview, Sun Li said that when Deng Chao was particularly busy, he would even sacrifice his rest time to rush home, just to accompany the child to eat a meal.
Usually, there are parent-child activities in the children's school, and they will also actively participate.
There is such a point of view in the "Strange Story":
We may rationalize the "no need for companionship" because of the lack of companionship from childhood.
But when children grow up and disagree with their parents to the point where they can't communicate, we understand that the important moments that were missed as children formed the gap that now exists between children and parents.
For a small life, every day of growth may encounter new challenges.
The company of the family will make the child more secure and brave, and it will also promote a deep understanding of each other and create a more harmonious parent-child relationship.
03
The trust of parents is the greatest encouragement to children.
"Looking back, the one who influenced me the most in my life was my mother, and her love took root in me and became a huge support for me."
At the age of 27, Kazuo Inamori founded a ceramic manufacturing company in Kyoto.
From the very beginning of the industrial ceramics, and then gradually expanded to electronic parts processing and communication equipment manufacturing, the company is developing better and better, Inamori Kazuo's ability is also getting stronger and stronger.
But every time he faced a new challenge, the conservative father still showed some concern.
But the mother is very calm, and she will say to her father with confidence: What her husband did must be right, let him do it!
It is this kind of trust that prompts Kazuo Inamori to constantly challenge himself and create one business miracle after another, making "Kyocera" and "KDDI" into fortune-500 companies.
This reminds me of the famous "Rosenthal effect" in psychology:
When we give our children enough trust and encouragement, this will definitely prompt the children to work harder and develop in a better and better direction.
Academician Zhong Nanshan, the recipient of the "Order of the Republic", once shared his mother's influence on him in a program.
When Zhong Nanshan was in elementary school, his academic performance was not very good, he was rebellious and naughty, and truancy was commonplace.
With such a learning attitude, I did not expect to achieve good results in an exam.
Mom was very happy to know and praised: You can still do it!
Just such a simple sentence, Zhong Nanshan remembered it for a lifetime.
His mother's approval gave him a great sense of accomplishment, and he was willing to study steadily ever since.
Educator Tao Xingzhi said:
"The whole secret of educating children lies in believing in children and liberating children, believing in children, liberating children, first of all, appreciating children."
Recognizing his ideas and supporting his decisions, children who grow up in this educational environment are more self-disciplined and self-motivated.
Even if life is difficult everywhere, he will not be depressed, but try his best to solve the problem.
Because he knows that he can never live up to the trust behind him.
04
Kazuo Inamori writes at the end of "My Mother's Teachings Changed My Life":
I am thankful from the bottom of my heart that I have been guarding my mother until I reached my old age.
This kind of protection is the care of life, but also the spiritual encouragement.
During the long years, she shielded her family from the wind and snow and brought warmth and anticipation to her children.
She is a consolation in the depths of the soul, a hope, and a strength to move forward.
A little attention for mom, dear mother, every day is at ease with you.