The contrast between children has been experienced by many mothers.
Usually at work is not at home, follow the grandparents, but well-behaved, as long as the mother comes home from work, the child will change 180 degrees.
For a while, Xiao En's ball also appeared in such a situation, which once led to the mother-in-law's great opinion of Xiao En.
Because of Xiao En's work, he often travels on business, and when he comes home from work after every business trip, he can see the surprised little eyes of the ball: "Wow! Mom is back! ”
Then immediately tired of coming over to ask me to play with me, often playing until 9 o'clock, he did not want to go to the shower and sleep.
When it comes to the weekend break, the ball must sit on the mother's lap to eat, and refuse to eat it yourself!
Small things did not go well with his heart, and he began to cry, make trouble, fall to the ground three times, and kick his legs four times!
Play games, watch TV, designate mom service, no one else is allowed to go near!
But when Xiao En was on a business trip and didn't feel comfortable calling home at night, her mother-in-law's report was: "You are not at home and the ball ball is particularly well-behaved, you took a bath and slept very early, much more obedient than when you were at home!" ”
Therefore, every time Xiao En is at home, and the ball is played until very late and does not want to go to bed, the mother-in-law will not play out against Xiao En.
Later, the mother-in-law really couldn't stand it, and complained to Xiao En: "You travel for a few days, the child follows me for a few days, does not cry or make trouble, obediently goes to bed, why do you come back, the child has become like this?" ”
Once, the child made a lot of noise and refused to go to sleep, and the mother-in-law saw the situation and said to Xiao En: "You come back later after work, and then go home after the child sleeps..."
what？ Am I the child's mother? How to do it like my stepmother! Xiao En is also helpless.
Many mothers have such a question: the mother is at home, why does the child behave badly, is there something wrong in the mother's company? Xiao En has received many similar messages in the background.
The child's sticky mother has become a crime of motherhood, and it has also caused many family conflicts. What happened to those children who are usually obedient and good to take?
Later, what really woke me up was the ball.
One business trip and came back on a weekend. As soon as he got home, qiu qiu played with Xiao En, and when he slept at night, it was more difficult than ever.
At that time, how to coax you not to sleep, suddenly the gas did not hit a place: "How others coax you to sleep, mother coaxes you not to sleep!" Or you'll sleep by yourself, and your mother won't accompany you. ”
Qiu Qiu was criticized by me, and with a small mouth, he said grievously: "Because I want to be mother!" ”
All of a sudden, my nose was sore.
I suddenly understood that all the little demonic acts of the child were all he was calling for his mother's attention in all kinds of awkward ways, expressing his need and love for his mother!
In fact, if you look closely, it is not difficult to find that children behave disobediently when they have a mother, mostly for these reasons.
The quality of mom's companionship is not high enough
In the case of Xiao En. Xiao En is convinced that he has given Qiu Qiu enough love, but Xiao En's business trip has disrupted the benign link formed between mother and son, and Qiu Qiu will worry, be afraid, and repeatedly use various ways to test and confirm that her mother's love has not changed.
Mothers who are stuck to their children should be thankful, because mothers who often cannot give their children high-quality companionship have completely broken the link between them and their children, and the children will behave calmly and indifferently to their mothers.
Therefore, when the child is noisy and clingy, the mother must not ignore the signal sent by the child, and should immediately give a positive and patient response.
When the child is particularly tired and irritable
When children are particularly tired, sleepy, and particularly annoyed, they are often easy to be clingy and noisy.
Because of physical exhaustion and psychological confusion, he did not have enough will to control his behavior.
It is precisely because the mother is the person who can make the child feel the safest and most relaxed, so he will be in front of the mother, ignorant and not obedient.
The child is in a period of separation anxiety
The famous psychologist Margaret Mahler believes that children from 6 months to 36 months old are in the separation period, which is a delicate and complex and changeable psychological process.
Children will encounter many difficulties and challenges in the process of exploring the world, and often feel anxiety, contradictions, frustration, and helplessness.
In the separation period, he was afraid of the dark, afraid of being alone, afraid of greeting strangers, and even the enthusiasm when he first learned to walk was gone, so he had to let people hold him.
Under careful observation, children in the separation period will often be particularly clingy to their mothers, and even clash with their mothers and make trouble.
This just shows that the mother is the person the child trusts the most.
The emotions that the child cannot release in front of others can be released in the mother; what he does not have the courage to do in front of others can be strengthened in the mother.
What should a mother do when a child is particularly clingy to her mother?
Exclude interference and judgment from family members
The first thing to do is to exclude the judgment and interference of other family members. Tell your family that this is normal, that neither the mother nor the child needs to be blamed or criticized.
Then, don't tell your child that you have to be sensible, to be considerate of your mother, and so on.
You might as well hug him tightly and tell him: I know you're tired/sleepy/in a bad mood/Thinking of mom, mom with you, mom loves you.
As long as we can give the child more attention, hugs, understanding and tolerance, let his emotions have an outlet for release, and a safe place to stay.
I believe that the child will slowly become stronger in this kind of love and grow into an independent and energetic person.
Try to spend as much time with your baby
Since the "sticky" mother is the psychological characteristic of the baby at this stage, the mother should first satisfy her desires, which is equivalent to emotionally "feeding" the baby first, and as the baby grows, this viscosity will naturally decrease.
Say goodbye to him every time you go out
Give your baby a hug and comfort, tell him exactly when you're back, and get home on time as promised. Your act of keeping your promises again and again is a solid foundation for your baby to trust you.
Slowly he would understand: Mom had left and would still be back. More importantly, you will earn your baby's trust, which will be deeply rooted in his subconscious and vital to his growth.
Ask Dad to get involved
In the daily care, please involve Dad.
For example: changing your baby's diaper, bathing, feeding, etc. Let him carry the baby around and play with the baby. But in the beginning, it's best to stay where your baby can't hear or smell you so he doesn't look for you anymore. If possible, you'd better work with your husband to take care of your baby, or take turns coaxing him to sleep each night.
When the baby has fun in the interaction with the father and enhances the self-confidence, it will not stick to the mother.
With this clear, it is not difficult to understand why the baby is a little angel when others bring the baby, and the baby is not well-behaved when the mother is at home. Dear moms, is your little baby sticky to mommy? How did you respond? Welcome to leave a message below and discuss with Xiao En.