Author:Daughter Hong (Parents Intensive Reading Author)
EvolutionAry Mother: May all parents attend their children's education on time; may all children have parents by their side at every critical moment in life.
Recently watched "Juvenile Court", I can't help but feel sorry.
This drama, which has just been online for 3 days and has a Douban score of 9.2 points, is based on a real juvenile delinquency case.
It mainly tells the story and truth behind those juvenile criminals who have gone astray.
As a mother, I was heartbroken after reading it:
In fact, many times, behind the children's criminal behavior, is the lack of parental education.
Every absence of parents in education is destroying their children step by step
There is such a story in the play:
An eight-year-old boy was looking for his mother in the park, and when he saw Xiao En sitting on a bench, he went straight up and asked:
"Sister, can I borrow a mobile phone from you?" I'm going to call Mom."
At this time, Xiao Feng's hollow eyes flickered, as if he had heard the word "mother" for the first time.
Suffering from persistent persecution paranoia, Little Eun believes that the boy is mocking her for not having a mother, so she takes him to a friend's house and strangles the boy alive with a wire.
Afterwards, the bodies were shredded and discarded in the kitchen waste bins and on the roof of the residential building.
Before this, Xiao En's parents had been working abroad for a long time and ignored Xiao En.
Even Xiao En suffered from severe depression, bipolar disorder and persistent paranoia about being victimized, but only entrusted others to take care of her, and never did it herself.
Lack of discipline went from torturing and killing small animals to directly becoming murderers.
When Xiao En was caught, the parents entrusted a law firm with full authority to handle the child's affairs.
At the final trial, Xiao En was sentenced to up to 20 years in prison, but her parents still did not show up.
Luo Xiang, a professor of criminal law, once said:
"I myself know that I am not a good child, I rely on the strict discipline of my parents. If my parents hadn't beaten me, if my parents hadn't ignored me, I wouldn't have accomplished anything today.
If when I was a child, my parents didn't care, it was impossible to go to a good school and find a good job, all the achievements of mankind were achieved by hard discipline and training. ”
I am reminded of a story:
One child went to the hospital for a psychological examination.
As a result, the mother never expected that the son who usually did not make a sound and completed the homework alone had many psychological problems such as bipolarity, anxiety, social degradation, and aggression.
But in fact, the occurrence of anything has been predicted:
The son has many homework mistakes, but he refuses to show it to his parents, and once he finds that his parents peek at his homework, he is furious.
Several times because of grabbing toys with her sister, the mother did not say anything in the face of her son who had no sense of guilt.
Over time, the son's behavior parents did not dare to say or manage, simply handed over to the teacher to deal with.
It's just that my mother often posts photos of her sister in the circle of friends, except for her brother, and even if there is, she only appears in the corner.
Children develop a self-centered, irritable personality, and even when they get along with other children, they will have feelings such as loneliness and hatred.
The long-term neglect of parents and the absence of education have gradually eroded the happiness of children, making him accumulate into a disease and drill into the tip of the horn that cannot be extricated.
Education is a serious cause, and parents must supervise and guide more.
Children cannot grow up alone and need guidance from their parents
There is also a scene in "Juvenile Court":
At a recovery center specializing in hosting bad girls, Xiaoying took advantage of the center's report and encouraged other girls to escape together.
When she escaped, Xiaoying found her mother's home.
Her fingers trembled, she rang the doorbell, and a rosy-faced woman in a long skirt opened the door.
Xiaoying and the woman looked at each other for a while, and it took a long time before they spit out the word "mother".
But as soon as she heard the man inside shouting "Who's coming?" the woman immediately reacted back: "It may be that the unknown child has rang the wrong doorbell." ”
Then, without turning his head, he closed the door.
It turned out that mom was not sick, but met a new man who ignored her.
In Xiao Ying's lonely eyes, sadness and anger instantly flooded.
She kept knocking on the door until the men who were chasing her beat her so badly that she refused to give up.
It is precisely because of her mother's absence again and again that Xiaoying has gradually become a pimp who bullies the weak and sells flesh.
At the end of the case, the female judge asked parents to participate in parent-child education and pay more attention to accompanying their children's growth and life, because it was the absence of parents that made these young girls go astray in crime.
Many parents, because of their work and trouble, give their children to the care of acquaintances or ignore them, thinking that handing over their children to teachers can be used as a hand-throwing treasurer.
However, the establishment of children's behavior habits is a long and complex process, and expecting children to grow up freely is irresponsible for children's lives.
Liang Qichao, a busy man, is not only an encyclopedia of the Republic of China, the key is that nine children have become one of the few talents in various fields, and the Jianghu people call them "super daddies".
In history, there is a good story of "one discipline and three academicians, nine sons are talented", even if he is busy with work, he still has not slackened his education of his children.
No matter how busy a parent is, it cannot be an excuse for a child's absence from discipline.
In this world, there have never been born bad children, but only parents who have been absent for a long time and children who have gradually become cold.0
For their children to have a good future, parents must attend every critical moment of their child's development.
The best parents are never absent in education
Compared with the success of the career, educating a good child is the proudest and happiest thing for parents in this life.
Obama is most proud not of his career, but of his never being absent from his daughter's education.
As he put it: "I can't be president of an American all my life, but I know that I've been the father of two daughters all my life." ”
In order to ensure that children's education is not absent, we must pay attention to the following three points:
1. Parents and teachers need to cooperate with each other
No one in this world cares more about their children than parents, so please cut off all illusions of entrusting children to anyone.
Many parents believe that the teacher is a living bodhisattva sent from heaven, but the teacher is only a mortal, not a panacea.
Problems in children's learning and life cannot be eliminated one by one, and parents need to personally supervise and counsel.
Chen Baosheng of the Ministry of Education said: "Family education is not in place, which will not only offset the effect of school education, but also cause a certain negative impact on children's development." ”
To achieve a child, 20% comes from the input of teacher knowledge and morality, and 80% comes from the efforts of parents.
2, when the child makes mistakes, it is necessary to be appropriately "fierce"
When the child's worldview and outlook on life have not yet been established, it is necessary to strictly require it at this time. For some moral errors, the necessary punishment is imposed.
There is a case of collective sexual assault in Juvenile Court.
Criminals Adu and Ah Jun deliberately threw stones at the age of 11 in a high-rise prank, and unfortunately a 6-year-old child was hit by a pass, resulting in instant death.
Because the two were too young, they basically escaped punishment in the end.
So the two boys played the law as a child's play, paving the way for them to make mistakes from then on.
The child is a blank piece of paper, they can't tell right from wrong, and the parents are the child's first enlightenment teachers.
Only by educating the child strictly and abiding by the rules of morality and law as soon as possible will the child be grateful to his parents in the future and not indulge when he should be disciplined.
Be tough on the child now, and the child will go farther and farther on the right path.
3. Parents lead by example and set an example for their children
There is a scene in the movie "Galaxy Tuition Class":
Late at night, my father was writing with his head buried, and his son Ma Fei asked, "Daddy, can I not sleep?" ”
Dad replied, "Don't ask me about your own business in the future." ”
Looking at his father who was buried in his work, he also got up and flipped through the books.
The American writer Emerson said:
"What kind of person a child will eventually become depends largely on the quality of the love, companionship and exemplary role model he receives from the first educator."
What parents say is important, but it is more important to let the child see how the parents do.
The process of raising children is also the process of parents' self-cultivation, and even if there are all kinds of difficulties, they are all disasters that we and our children will have to live in this life.
May all parents attend their children's education on time;
May all children have their parents by their side at every critical moment in their lives.
Author's Profile: Daughter Hong, Rich Book Columnist, Article: Parents Evolution, the copyright of this article belongs to Rich Book, unauthorized, may not be reprinted, infringement must be investigated, Rich Book 2018 launched a new book "Good Life"