Text | genial
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Love is either a lifetime, or it is old and dead. For the vast majority of people, anyone who has loved each other cannot become friends because they have loved each other.
However, if the one-way love is just a one-man one-man show, then two people are likely to continue to be friends.
There is not only love in this world, but friendship is also rare.
Someone once said of her experience: "I always thought of a boy as my good friend, but I didn't expect him to suddenly confess to me." 」
I was very troubled in my heart, because I just regarded him as a good friend, and there was no male or female feeling for him at all. I was worried that he would never be able to be friends again after he turned it down, and I was worried that it would be embarrassing to meet in the future because we had a common circle of friends.
After repeated entanglements, I finally plucked up the courage to reject him, and I also told him that I would still be friends after I agreed, but I would involuntarily want to avoid him.
He may have also realized my avoidance, so he slowly alienated me, and then we were no longer in touch. ”
In fact, I believe that many people have encountered this situation. If it is not handled properly, then it is really possible that two friends who used to be very good will really drift apart.
In "Foreign Daughter-in-law Local Lang", Yumi once had a crush on Kang Qizu for a long time.
A note that Yumi hid in her homemade mooncake that read, "Do you know I'm waiting for you," was actually addressed to Azu.
When the love is strong, it may be unconsciously wanting to confess, so Yumi confesses in a solitary relationship with Azu.
Kang Qizu, who has been wandering around in the love scene, may not be unaware of how sincere Yumi's confession is. However, he still pretended not to understand, and rebuffed Yumi in a relaxed tone: "Impossible, I have always been your sister, how can you possibly like me, you must be joking..."
Azu's reply gave Yumi a clear answer in her heart.
Their feelings were not affected by Yumi's confession at all, and the relationship between the two has always been very good.
The reason why the effect can be achieved, in addition to Azu's explicit refusal, is that after getting along, Azu treats Yumi as before, and he does not have the slightest embarrassment and deliberate avoidance.
Some people, have nothing to do with the wind and moon, have nothing to do with love, but are worth carving into life, so they don't want a little frustration and lose it.
If friends of the opposite sex confess to you and do these three things well, you will most likely be able to be friends in the future.
First, open up to each other and make your attitude clear
When your friends of the opposite sex confess to you, the first thing to do is to clarify your attitude and do not choose to avoid each other's confession because you are too afraid of losing the other party's friend.
When many girls face this problem, they will always use "you are joking" to avoid each other's confession, but they do not know that this way will actually leave "hope" for each other.
Although Kang Qizu thought that Yumi was jokingly rejecting Yumi's confession, his own attitude was clear in his words: "I really just treat you as a sister, and it is impossible for the two of us." ”
Therefore, when friends of the opposite sex confess to you, what you have to do is to first clarify your answers, and then take into account their emotions.
If you can, then open up with the other person and tell the other person your true feelings and role positioning for him.
The answer is clear, the other party knows your intentions, and naturally refrains from thinking about developing in the way you are a lover.
Second, sort out the mentality, do not be embarrassed and do not avoid
In most cases, after your friends of the opposite sex are rejected by you, they will ask, "So can we still be friends?" ”
Maybe it's because they are still in love, so even if they are rejected, they still hope to be able to accompany you as friends.
So why do so many men and women who experience this eventually become estranged? The reason is that the defendant's party feels embarrassed and deliberately avoids it, resulting in the confessional party having to be estranged...
Therefore, when your friends of the opposite sex confess to you and you have also made clear your rejection attitude, you should correct your mentality, do not write embarrassment on your face, and do not have obvious "avoidance" from him.
In particular, don't let "fear that your normal care will give the other person the illusion" to occupy your brain too much, and dare not be good to the other person.
You can slightly restrain the degree of good for the other party, but you should not let the attitude contrast between the confession and the back and forth.
The attitude contrast is too great, the other party will take into account your feelings, and choose to be estranged, and even think that you have not thought of being friends with him, and eventually drift away from you.
Third, temporarily reduce the "frequency" of active contact with each other
Many times, when friends of the opposite sex have too much contact frequency, it is often easy to give each other the illusion of "he likes me too".
Therefore, when your friend of the opposite sex confesses to you, temporarily reduce the frequency of active contact with him, and give the other party time and space to recognize the fact that you are only treating him as a good friend.
In addition, don't take the initiative to comfort his sad feelings after being rejected by you, which will only make the other party unable to let go of you.
There must be pure friendship between friends of the opposite sex. There are boundaries, between friends of the opposite sex who have a measure, it must only be about friendship, and it has nothing to do with any wind and moon.
So, when you sincerely want the friend of the opposite sex who confessed to you to continue to be a friend, then keep the distance and boundaries that friends of the opposite sex should have.
Don't think that I want to be friends with you only, but I also want to continue to enjoy your treatment of your girlfriend. This is absolutely not allowed.
Men and women can always be friends, it must be because the two are heavy and heavy distance, so even if time passes, both sides have become a family, and they can occasionally contact each other in their free time...
When your friends of the opposite sex confess to you, but you sincerely want to continue to be friends with each other, the smart way is to do the above three points, give each other clear answers, and keep the good friends should have a measure and distance.
Only in this way can we give the other party enough time to recognize and believe that you are only treating him as a good friend, retract the feelings that should not be there, and be friends with you for a lifetime.
Some encounters are really rare, so I don't want to let them disappear into the years because they are contaminated with half a wind and moon.
EDN
I am Hexu, a creator of the emotional field of warmth and happiness in the heart, writing emotional texts, warming the heart with words, thank you for reading, I hope my words can help you, deeply wish you peace and joy!