The recent hit drama "Heart Residence" starring Haiqing must have poked the hearts of many stay-at-home mothers in real life. After 8 years of hard work, the family status is not as good as that of the nanny.
Feng Xiaoqin (HaiQing), a daughter-in-law from a foreign country in Shanghai.
Because of the poor family conditions and the lack of reading, he came to Shanghai at the age of 16 to work hard, but he had no academic qualifications, his education level was not high, and he could only do some low-level work that earned money by selling coolies to support himself.
In order to gain a place in the bustling metropolis of Shanghai, she chose to marry a mediocre-looking, cowardly and unmotivated man in Shanghai. After marriage, in order to let Feng Xiaoqin take more care of her son, father and grandmother, her husband suggested that she quit her job and concentrate on being a full-time mother at home.
She did her best to do everything in the family, big and small things, every day together, that is, to buy vegetables, buy breakfast, manage the family of 5 people three meals a day, and the weekend dinner of the extended family. But the result? The family always regarded her as an outsider, and the son also had a virtue with his father and looked down on his mother!
(Image from the Internet)
Chu Yin, a university Internet celebrity professor, has also said such a thing,
"When a woman becomes a full-time wife, she pins her future on men's sense of responsibility and conscience, and men's sense of responsibility and conscience are intermittent."
As soon as this statement came out, it immediately set off a heated discussion on the short video platform, with opponents and proponents, but most people's consensus was that "full-time wife is the most dangerous profession in the world."
Even if you are outstanding before marriage, getting married and having children is a watershed, letting you get away from the quiet years of the past, leaving only chicken feathers on the ground. This, perhaps, is the idea of many people.
"After all kinds of ideological struggles, I plucked up the courage to become a full-time mother, and I was so lucky that the result was different from what I thought." I have a girlfriend Xiaoqing said excitedly.
I remember that when she graduated from graduate school, she had boldly said that she would do something in the workplace and would never have children early. But soon he was punched in the face by reality. After having a child, she is very conflicted and confused, not only do not want to miss the growth of the child, but also afraid of giving up the work, long look forward to losing herself at home, being eliminated by society, and being disliked by her husband.
I wanted to come and go, but I didn't know what to do, so I found a bunch of our girlfriends to help her come up with ideas.
A crowd of people chattered and disagreed.
A said: "When the mother will feel very happy, full-time mother is not necessarily Oh, like you a highly educated person, at home with a baby, so many years of books are not in vain?" What a waste! Don't go to the workplace to shine, take the children at home every day, in addition to washing diapers, feeding, the rest is to eat and sleep, people will soon be scrapped, and you will feel very painful after a long time. ”
B said, "I'll know if you look at it!" I am now at home taking care of the children, with no income, and can only rely on the salary of the child's father to work to maintain our family. I used to have a job, I wanted to buy what I paid for, and I never felt financial pressure, but now what? I had to ask him for every penny I wanted, explain to him what I was going to do, and give me money when I agreed. In order to improve the success rate, as far as possible not to hurt the temperament, to trigger a big war, it is necessary to observe the color, each time is careful, take advantage of his good mood to dare to open his mouth. This feeling is so unpleasant! ”
C said: "Children, or to bring their own, the mother to bring up the child and the elderly to bring up the child, in the speech and behavior, personality, the establishment of a sense of security and other aspects are a big gap." If the economic conditions permit, it is best to take care of it yourself, and full-time mothers have more time to educate their children than working mothers, and their children will be better."
In the end, for the sake of her children's education, she resigned and took the baby at home full-time, but she was still a little nervous. Worry about derailment from society, worry about money problems, worry about everything not matching expectations...
This moment, 3 years have passed, the girlfriend is still lucky, met a good husband, do anything in most cases are quite supportive of her. Her husband never felt like he was raising his wife because she didn't have a financial income. On the contrary, he always felt that his wife was not easy, very hard, and made a great contribution to the family.
In summary, I think that although the stay-at-home wife is risky, it is only an option and cannot be described as a sacrifice or a waste.
The situation is different for each family, not all families have the ability to help with the baby, and not all families have the financial strength to hire a satisfactory and reassuring nanny.
(Image from the Internet)
Stay-at-home moms have no sacrifices but only choices in their careers and children.
Stay-at-home moms shouldn't have a sense of self-sacrifice, or she might never be in the role. Because if there is such a thought, always feel that you are making a sacrifice, once you experience twists and turns, it is easy for her to regret it, feel unworthy, and lead to psychological imbalance. Others feel like being a stay-at-home mom seems to have a lower status at home. However, if even you are not confident and feel inferior, then it will be really low. ”
The human mindset is important, and when you think it's a good thing, your whole being becomes positive and things really go in a good direction. And vice versa.
Children are our future and the inheritance of the family. More and more Kochi women are actively choosing the profession of "stay-at-home mother".
A housewife in Vancouver named Lisa Yang has raised three outstanding "genius" children by teaching her children math and logic lessons at home for more than a decade.
Parenting is also a career, and it is not wasteful for highly educated women to be full-time mothers
The child's growth is only once, and accompanying the child is not "loss" at all.
Compared with the children brought up by the elderly, the cultivation of the living habits of the children brought up by the mother will be better, and the language expression ability is stronger; although the full-time home with the child, the income is indeed reduced, and the career may be affected, but the child's growth is only once, and if it is missed, it will not start again, and it can cultivate a good parent-child relationship and participate in the child's growth process, in fact, it is not "loss".
Highly educated mothers cultivate excellent children, and the books they have studied for many years are also useful
Some people only see that their highly educated mothers do not earn money after resigning, and they think that the books they have read for many years have been read in vain, and there is no value of "monetization", which is a "loss-making" thing. However, many people ignore such a truth, and being able to educate children well is a significant thing for a family and even the whole society.
They take care of their children at home not simply to take care of their children's eating, drinking and sleeping, they will pay attention to children's learning, psychology, nutrition and other aspects to help children grow up healthy and happy. Parenting is a big project, and it's not as simple as we think it is for less educated mothers to do it.
Highly educated mothers choose to take their children full-time, not necessarily "completely give up on themselves"
This may just be an option for them at this stage. For highly educated moms, they have more options for how to live and earn money. Unlike weak mothers, if they give up their jobs and return to their families, it may mean that they have zero income, their own value is devalued, and they are abandoned by the workplace.
For highly educated mothers, even if they are full-time at home with their babies, they will often not forget to improve their competitiveness in addition to taking their children, and they also have the ability to use professional knowledge to earn pocket money.
And such stay-at-home mothers should not be blamed by anyone, because they are not only excellent, but also great.
What do you think? Is it a waste for highly educated women to give up high salaries in the workplace and bring a baby at home?
Thumbs up, + pay attention to small raindrops, a better life does not get lost!