Three-year-old Carey, wherever he goes, he must take his childhood "little belly pocket". Because every time before going to bed, he had to hold his belly pocket to fall asleep, this habit made his mother particularly worried. Next, Kerry is going to kindergarten, is he going to take his belly pocket to school?
If this is true, it is inevitable that he will be ridiculed by his classmates around him, although his parents can understand his behavior, but other children will certainly not understand his behavior, which will definitely cause unnecessary trouble. So recently, Kerry's mother had a particular headache and didn't know how to deal with it.
In fact, in life, there are many children like Kerry, and their beloved items are really various. Without exception, they are all things that have accompanied them since they were young, such as pacifiers, pillow skins, mother's clothes, and so on. Some are even worn out, but children just don't want to throw them away, like babies.
For children's behavior, many parents are difficult to understand, once felt that they are mental illness, that is, people often call "fetish". But in fact, after in-depth understanding, I learned that the child's psychology is very healthy and there is no disease. Therefore, parents should correctly view their children's fetish behavior, rather than directly labeling them.
Why do children have fetish behavior?
The focus now is to find the reason for the child's fetish, in order to help them get out of the fetish dilemma. The most important thing is to help children get out of the misunderstood misunderstanding and live with a normal mindset.
The occurrence of fetish behavior is mainly due to the lack of inner security of children. Because the heart is too lonely, it can only use objects to transfer feelings and release inner pressure and unhappiness.
The reasons for the lack of children's sense of security are even more numerous, and they are directly related to their parents. For the sake of the family, many children are forced to become "left-behind children", separated from their parents from childhood, living with the elderly, and their hearts must be particularly lost; then there are parents who are busy with work and have almost no time to accompany their children.
There is also a kind of parent, who is too strong in life and education, always wants to control their children's thoughts and behaviors, and seriously interferes with their growth. Such children can easily become inferior and can only express their emotions by relying on favorite objects. Because the child knows that these items will not leave him, can accept all his bad.
I can't imagine that the child's fetish, there is such a big hidden feeling, I believe that many parents have begun to blame themselves, thinking that they have not done well before. As for whether the child's fetish is blocked or left unchecked, I believe that parents have the answer. Because behind the fetish is the lack of children's sense of security, it is not okay to stop and let it go.
Rationally looking at the child's fetish behavior is the attitude that a wise parent should have
Since children have something they particularly like, it is also a good thing to look at it from another perspective, indicating that their emotions have a place to pin down. Instead, don't worry too much about their emotional catharsis and psychological problems, I believe that when getting along with dolls, clothes or pacifiers, children will have their own way of expressing themselves.
What parents have to do is to accept it calmly, understand the child's behavior, and give it a certain amount of respect. If you can, share some of your own little secrets with your children to alleviate their guilt. It is likely that in the previous education, many parents unconsciously said words that hurt their children, and it was necessary to dispel their children's wrong views.
There are also many mothers who say: The child's fetish is a sign of growth, indicating that he is growing up uninterruptedly, eager to be liked by others, and eager to like others. Through the fetish plot, the inner anxiety, stress and unhappiness are all vented.
There are also a few details that parents should pay more attention to
1. Do not forcibly deprive children of their rights
At no time, do not forcibly seize or confiscate the items that your child likes, even if they are worn, they are also your child's treasures. If it is forcibly deprived, it will really be counterproductive and make the child more insecure. Patient guidance and distraction from them all help to quit fetish complexes.
Develop and tap more of your children's interests and hobbies, let them find things they like again, and slowly replace their previous hobbies.
2. Help your child find items
It can not be prevented, but it cannot be supported, after all, such a fetish behavior, in the eyes of outsiders, is somewhat abnormal. So parents do not help them to find, if the day they like something can not be found, it is likely to slowly forget, but it is easier to get out of the pit of lovers.
Of course, this also requires the patience of parents. On the road to growth, only when the heart and spirit are wrapped in love, can the child be physically and mentally healthy and will not lack a sense of security.
Written in the end: On the road to growth, every little habit of the child, as long as it is not a mistake of principle, will not hurt others, is worthy of parental respect. The rest of life is very long, take advantage of the young age, more time to accompany the children to grow, do not wait until they make mistakes, regret that the original education and companionship are not in place.