Professor Li Meijin once expressed envy for the happy life of her daughter's generation.
Unexpectedly, the daughter said: "Our generation is very envious of your generation, you are so happy." ”
Professor Lee asked the child, "Why?" ”
The daughter said, "You adults don't feel our pain.
Sit in the classroom at 7:10 a.m. every morning until 5:30 p.m., and go home in the evening to write your homework until 11:30 p.m.
Mom, not a day, it's 12 years, even Saturdays and Sundays are occupied by you. ”
Professor Li was shocked to hear this and sighed: "This person is not crazy to be strange." ”
But in fact, isn't this exactly the current situation of most children's lives?
1
Contemporary children, the captive generation
A University of California study of contemporary children found that:
Today's children, in addition to the time spent in school, 90% of their leisure time is spent at home.
Write your homework at your desk, watch TV in front of the TV, or stare at your phone and play video games.
Even when children are out and about, parents pay close attention to their children, whether at school, at home, or after meals.
And this phenomenon of narrowing the child's world, the whole world is happening.
Last weekend, taking the child to the park to play, a five- or six-year-old boy was "reminded" by his mother along the way:
"Don't run so fast, you'll fall; don't touch this railing, there's bacteria dirty; don't sit on this stone bench, you're going to have diarrhea when it's cold!"
But whatever the little boy wants to do, the mother will stop it one by one at the first time, for the safety of the child.
Finally, the little boy did not know what to do, and stood on the lawn in a daze.
As parents, it is our duty to protect our children.
But excessive vigilance will silently imprison the growth of the child.
Some time ago, a Hangzhou father was on the hot search because of a sentence.
His children were criticized by the class teacher for several weeks because they ran in the corridors between classes, and they were also on the criticism list.
Thinking that the boy might be too naughty, the father went home and educated the child.
But later I learned that it turned out that for the sake of safety, the school did not allow students to run in the corridors and classrooms for ten minutes between classes, and they were not allowed to visit the next class.
As for the boy, just because the teacher dragged the class, rushed to the toilet between classes and ran a few steps, he was criticized by name.
Dad roared: Why not let the child be wild?
Tying up children's hands and feet, binding children's hearts, such captivity, seems to be convenient and worry-free.
However, children who are raised in captivity, in this narrow circle, it is difficult to form their own independent and sound personality, and it is difficult to develop a happy and healthy mentality, and the consequences are endless.
2
Don't raise children in fish tanks
In psychology, there is a very famous story - the law of fish tanks.
It's about a few small fish that have been kept in a fish tank for many years.
The water temperature is suitable, the environment is beautiful, and people will feed it on time every day, but it just doesn't grow up.
At one time, it was thought that this fish might be this small size.
Then one day, the fish tank was broken, because the fish tank could not be found for a while, and people raised the small fish in the pond in the yard.
No one expected that in just a few months, these small fish would grow up a lot.
Small fish need free room to grow, especially people.
Children who are kept in captivity are like small fish in a fish tank.
Lack of sufficient space for movement and inability to establish a smooth connection with the outside world can seriously hinder physical and mental development, leading to a series of problems.
For example, obesity and frailty, attention disorders, and poor coordination of movements.
A monitoring data from the Ministry of Education shows that the obesity rate of primary and secondary school students has exceeded 10%, and the overall proportion is increasing year by year.
The Peking University Center for Public Health predicts that 50 million children in China will be listed as overweight or obese by 2030, based on the daily habits of Chinese children.
For example, if there is too much contact with electronic devices indoors, the sensory development of hearing and smell is weak.
Every day I went to pick up my baby at the school gate and found that more than half of the children who lined up to come out were wearing glasses.
The Ministry of Education has issued a document that as of 2020, the national student physical health failure rate is 6.5% for primary school students, 14.5% for middle school students, 11.8% for high school students, and 30% for college students.
Children are kept in captivity, chronically lack of exercise, and disconnected from nature, causing health problems that are not only physical obesity, weakness and myopia, but more serious, psychological problems such as depression.
The "2019-2020 National Mental Health Report" released by the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences has a set of data that is shocking:
At the primary school level: the detection rate of depression is 10%-13%;
In the middle school stage: the detection rate of depression is 25%-30%;
High school: Depression is detected at about 38%.
Basically, 1 in every 10 elementary school students will be diagnosed with depression, and 3 out of every 10 junior high school students will be diagnosed with depression...
Along with high rates of depression, the tragedy of teenagers jumping off buildings to commit suicide is also frequent.
On March 15, a 14-year-old junior high school girl in Nanning, Guangxi Province, fell from a building due to severe depression;
On the evening of April 13, a 15-year-old female student in Changchun jumped from the roof of the building to take her own life;
On May 4, the third year of Changji High School suffered from 3 years of depression and chose to jump off the building before the college entrance examination...
Rousseau said, "A weak body can never cultivate a vibrant soul and wisdom."
A child in captivity is a weak body dragging a weak soul.
3
The fish tank can not raise big fish,
Children need a wider world
If you want your child to grow faster, you must give him the freedom to move, and don't let them stick to a small space.
(1) Participate in outdoor sports more, so that children become "lifelong athletes"
The Power of Habit reads:
"Certain habits, once formed, trigger a chain reaction that over time will change everything and reshape lives.
For many people, exercise is the core habit that triggers widespread change. ”
I feel this very well.
When my son was in kindergarten, he was very timid, and his expression was not clear, and the children were reluctant to play with him.
When he was in middle class, he was specially allowed to participate in football training, insisting on outdoor training 4-5 times a week, rain or shine.
In sports, colliding with teammates physically, sweating together, winning together, losing together, the son easily met new friends, and the whole person became proactive.
During the process of exercise, the body will secrete dopamine, which can reduce anxiety and stress, make children feel relaxed and happy, and improve attention, self-control and learning ability.
The hippocampus in the brain also produces new nerve cells that make the child more positive and energetic.
The American Pediatric Association recommends that children aged 3-6 years exercise 2-3 hours a day, depending on their constitution and actual situation.
Adolescents and children over the age of 6 should engage in intensive physical activity for at least 1 hour a day.
(2) Get closer to nature and cultivate the wisdom of life
Rousseau said: The best enlightenment education is to perceive in nature, not to read books.
The child's self-perception must be through feelings, connecting the emotional world hidden in the heart with the outside world and positioning his own coordinates.
Returning to nature is the great wisdom of education.
For the healthy growth of his children, South Korean film star Lee Young-ae moved his family to Yang Ping, which is far away from the hustle and bustle of the city.
She opened a vegetable garden in front of her house.
In the spring, plant a variety of vegetables and fruits, and water with the children;
In autumn, we pick the fruits together, wash the ingredients with natural groundwater, and bring the children to cook.
Spring, summer, autumn and winter, the four seasons alternate, birds, fish and insects, all kinds of plants, nature has given children more aura and happiness.
At the age of 9, his son Chengquan was able to discuss Einstein's "Theory of Relativity" with adults, and his daughter dreamed of becoming a musician when she grew up.
Being close to nature is the best nourishment for life.
Psychologist Li Zixun also appealed: "It is better to take 100 early education classes than to take children close to nature." ”
As parents, we should let our children experience a variety of experiences through close contact with nature through sight, view, touch, smell, and feeling.
If you have the conditions, you can take your children on a hike to feel the magic of the world.
There are really no conditions, plants at home, parks, downstairs gardens are good places.
4
American psychologist David Elkett once said:
No matter what a person's living environment is, to be a good parent, the most basic thing is to give the child two things:
Roots and wings.
So don't raise children in the "fish tank".
Born like Kunpeng, when into the sky and the sea.
Soar freely and wander fast.
Encourage parents all over the world.
Source: New Oriental Family Education (xdfjtjy) conveys the concept of professional family education, provides family education information at home and abroad, and shares absorbable and operable methods and suggestions. Make continuous learning a habit for families. The original title of the article is "How painful is the life of this Chinese child?" Li Meijin: Raising children like this, it is not crazy to be weird! reprint has been authorized.
EDIT: Cocoa
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