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A good tutor in Yang Chen's eyes
She is an expert scholar, writer, translator, and "the most virtuous wife and the most talented woman" in Qian Zhongshu's eyes.
When she was a child, she entered Qiming and Zhenhua, and when she grew up, she went to Tsinghua and Oxford, and from childhood to adulthood, she went to a famous school, and "good education" almost accompanied one; as a "new woman" who grew up in an enlightened family and education, she married into a "traditional" family that required prostrations to her in-laws, but still loved her husband for a lifetime... It can be said that Mr. Yang Dai's life is legendary, no matter how difficult the fate, the body is always filled with a kind of uncomplaining and unrepentant upward atmosphere, and in old age, the calm and calm on the face exudes a different temperament.
She and Mr. Qian Zhongshu's daughter, Qian Yuan (nicknamed Ah Yuan), are also a talented woman, who was a professor of English at Beijing Normal University, and although she died in 1997, the story of "the two of us" has been circulated to this day and has touched countless people.
So, in the eyes of Mr. Yang Dai, what kind of education is considered "good education"? You must not think of it! The answer given by the gentleman... It's that simple!
1
With the child, let the child play and learn
Zhong Shu could never show off his father's majesty, he was even more naughty than his daughter.
When Ah Yuan was a child, he often said: "My father and I are the most buddy, we are my mother's two naughty children, my father is not worthy of being my brother, only worthy of being a younger brother." ”
Once, when Ah Yuan was asleep on a hot day with her belly exposed, Zhong Shu drew a big face on her belly, and I reprimanded her and did not dare to draw again. Every day before going to sleep, he also had to bury "landmines" in his daughter's bed, burying large and small toys, mirrors, brushes, and even brick platforms or large brushes, and when his daughter screamed, he was overjoyed, and he was eager to stuff brooms and dustpans into his daughter's bed. Before the daughter went to bed, she must carefully search and take out the contents of the quilt one by one. This kind of thing is not much fun to play every day, but Zhong Shu is not tired of playing.
In addition to teasing his daughter to play, Zhong Shu also taught his daughter English words, seeing that there is potential to be tapped, and also taught some French and German words, most of which are foul language with farts and. When a friend came, Zhong Shu asked his daughter to show off. Ah Yuan replied like that to the starling's tongue, and the guests laughed and thought that they were very "erudite", and they could not help but be complacent, and their noses were cocked.
When Zhong wrote "The Siege of the City", he told his daughter that there was an ugly child in it, and it was her. Ah Yuanxin believed it to be true, but he didn't care. Later, when he wrote "Lily Heart", he said that one of the most hated girls in it was her. At this time, Ah Yuan grew up slightly, afraid that her father would wrongfully accuse her, and every day he looked for his manuscript to peek, and Zhong Shu hid the manuscript in another place every day. One hides, one finds, and becomes a hide-and-seek game. Later, even I didn't know where the manuscript was hidden.
"Zhong Shu's 'infatuation' is also strange and chic. He said to me very seriously, 'If we have another child, maybe better than Ah Yuan, we will like that child, then how can we be worthy of Ah Yuan?' Advocating the theory that a pair of parents has a child, it has never been said that parents only have one in order to be single-minded. ”
And I don't know much about modern education. I read in the newspaper that the artist Han Meilin made a painting and gave it to a two- or three-year-old child, the child happily went back, and quickly took the painting to Han Meilin for signature, asked him what he did to sign, and the child said: "You signed, this painting is worth money!" "Unfortunately, such a young child has been affected by the bad atmosphere of society, shouldn't the education of values be noticed?"
2
In a good education, the role of role models is very important
I experience that "good education" is first of all to inspire people's interest in learning, to learn consciously, to cultivate people's self-motivation, to guide people to be eager to learn, and to constantly improve themselves. Let students be educated unconsciously and let them subtly. The role of role models in this regard is very important, and words are not as good as examples.
I myself was influenced by my parents and turned from naughty to studious.
My father spoke sensibly, exported chapters, and the "Declaration" commented one after another, arrogantly and loudly. I admired and wondered, asking for the secret, and my father said, "What is the secret?" Read more books, just read good books. "My mother was worried about the family's food, clothing, and housing, and she always had to turn over classical literature and modern novels when she had time, and read them with relish. I followed their example, looked for my father to collect books to read, and it was really interesting, and from then on I read well and read good books to be fascinated.
His father was the director of the Beijing Higher Procuratorate, and because he insisted on trying the bribery case of Xu Shiying, the chief minister of the Ministry of Communications, he preferred to be deposed by the Beiyang government, which was protected by officials. When he was the director of the Jiangsu Provincial High Court, a warlord came to Shanghai, and the local gentry jointly appeared in the newspaper to welcome him, and his father's name was also included in the list of welcomers by his subordinates. During the fall of Shanghai, his father met an acquaintance who was a traitor and turned a blind eye, so some people rumored that Yang was blind.
My father never taught us how to do it, and through his actions, I realized the true meaning of the ancient precept that "the rich cannot be adulterous, the poor cannot be moved, and the mighty cannot be bent."
We never instruct our daughters. She saw that me and Zhong Shu were addicted to reading, and she was also a monkey learner, so she took this book to read as usual, and gradually entered the Tao. She learned foreign languages, there was a difficult word, turned over three dictionaries and did not check, ran to ask her father, Zhong Shu did not tell, let her continue to look up, looked up the fifth dictionary and really looked for it.
3
A good family must have a good husband and wife relationship
I am a like-minded couple with Zhongshu Zhong. We were attracted to each other precisely because both of us loved literature and were obsessed with reading. Zhong Shu said that he "has no great ambition, but only wants to contribute his life and do research." "That's the same thing I have.
I love my husband more than myself. I understand the value of Zhong Shu, and I am willing to sacrifice myself for the success of his research and writing career, and to give full play to his potential and creativity. This kind of love is not blind, it is understanding, and the deeper the understanding, the better the feelings. Only by understanding each other can we consciously support each other.
The poet Xin Di said that Qian Zhongshu had a "wife-like fetish", and Zhong Shu really appreciated me, whether it was life work or translation and writing, which encouraged me a lot and was also the basis of love. Similarly, I am also very concerned and familiar with Zhong Shu's works, in 1989, Huang Shuqin wanted to put his "Siege" on the screen, came to my house to discuss how to highlight the theme, I felt that the main connotation of "Siege" should be expressed, and immediately wrote two sentences to her, that is, the people who were surrounded in the city wanted to escape, and the people outside the city wanted to rush in. Marriage or career. Most of life's aspirations are like this.
The meaning of "siege" refers not only to Fang Hongwei's marriage, but also to some sad factor in human nature, that is, dissatisfaction with his own situation. Zhong Shu agreed with my generalization and analysis, and felt that this keyword "really won my heart".
END