This is the 220th true story we tell
I am Xiaoyu, a rural girl, and perhaps I am destined to live a strong life of twists and turns.
When I was a child, I was a left-behind child, and when I grew up, I met a reliable man and got married and started a family, and I thought I had something to rely on for this life. Unexpectedly, along the way, it was a thrilling step by step.
On the second day of marriage, my husband was seriously ill, and after 4 years, he was diagnosed with cancer, and his mother-in-law was still disabled. Now that my son is only 2 years old, I have been forced by life to become a female paper, and I will not hesitate to sell my house to save my husband.
(Now 33 years old, I have become the pillar of the family)
01
I am a native of Baoding, Hebei Province, born in 1989 in a rural family, with an older brother.
Like many rural post-80s generations, when my parents went out to work in order to make a living, my brother and I grew up with my grandparents. Maybe it's the children of poor families who have been in charge of the family early, but I have been a responsible person since I was a child.
There is no hobby in life, usually the favorite thing to do is to tidy up their room, from time to time to change the place of the ornaments, there is a sense of freshness, feel very decompressing.
With poor academic performance, I wanted to drop out of school to work after junior high school, but my father wanted me to continue to go to school, and then insisted until I graduated from high school, and I still went out to work.
In 2012, at the age of 23, I became a big girl, and under the arrangement of my parents, I went to meet several blind dates, and I felt that it was inappropriate. I haven't been in love and I don't know what romantic love feels like.
Overall, I'm a more traditional girl who just wants to meet a good guy and have a bland and pyrotechnic life.
(Before, I was also carefree)
Soon, such a man really appeared. At a friend party, I met my current husband, who is not handsome or talkative.
One day, he suddenly called and said that he wanted to ask me to go to dinner, I said that I did not have time, he said that he had already arrived downstairs, and I agreed to it.
I also had a few friends at dinner that day, and he talked to me all the time. Later, I learned that at that time, he decided that I was the one who was going to get married.
After contact, I was touched by his steady warmth, only to find out that this was also a bitter child.
Born in Tianjin, he grew up in a good family, studied Chinese painting, practiced the electronic keyboard, and also studied film and television performance. Unfortunately, after the parents were laid off and both unemployed, the family's situation plummeted, and those interests and hobbies were forced to be interrupted.
(The Chinese paintings painted by my husband when I was a child, my mother-in-law still keeps them)
His father died of illness a few years ago, and his mother fell on her knees and could not bend because she worked in the cold and damp workshop for many years.
The hardships of life make him very good at living, do not smoke or drink, do not like to dress up, a sweater can wear for 10 years, as long as it is not broken, it will not be thrown away, socks are torn and sewn twice and then worn.
We are very similar in slamming doors, both are people with low material desires, and have never quarreled because of shopping desires.
We, who have three views in harmony, were officially together in 2014. That day, he was so excited that my phone was about to explode by him.
When he was in love, he and a few friends partnered with an advertising agency, the business was still passable, and he saved money to buy a house.
02
By 2016, we had plans to get married with a license, and we changed to a big house close to his mother's house. Then we renovated together and prepared to move into a new home in half a year, looking forward to the new life in the future.
(Our wedding room, first floor, clean and bright)
But the day after we got our license, a serious illness came to us. That day, my husband suddenly had a lot of red spots on his body, thinking it was a rash, so he went to the small clinic to get some medicine to eat. As a result, after eating for a few days, the red dots were more and more, and I quickly went to the dermatology department of the hospital to see.
I had an ominous hunch because the haematologist said it was purpura nephritis, which was severe and had to be hospitalized immediately.
At that time, I knew how terrible this disease was, as long as my husband walked around, his thighs and waist would be full of red dots, and protein began to appear in his urine. And the disease is very stubborn, treated in the hospital for two months, there is no sign of improvement.
The doctor couldn't help it, so he let my husband out of the hospital, and we had to go home with disappointment.
(Husband was diagnosed with purpura nephritis)
Later, a friend introduced a foreign hospital to see kidney disease, but a new problem appeared.
Although I have a driver's license, I have no sense of direction and have not been driving on my own. Now my husband goes to see a doctor in a foreign country, he can't move around, his mother-in-law is old, I don't drive who will drive?
Lives matter, I can only overcome the fear of the car, cheer myself up, and adapt to the new identity of the driver as soon as possible.
The first time I drove, I walked carefully all the way, and after taking my husband to the hospital, my mother-in-law stayed there to take care of him, and I rushed to work without stopping. Before the bed has been on half a month's leave, now can only go to work during the day, after work to see him.
I don't know if my husband's illness can be seen this time, the whole person is very upset, and sometimes driving will inexplicably cry.
(Every day after work, I cook a sick meal for my husband)
Perhaps it is God's favor, the husband treated this time for more than two months, at most at a time to eat 18 bags of hormone drugs, the condition finally stabilized.
In 2017, after my husband recovered from illness, we made up for the wedding. On the wedding day, my parents and relatives at home took a bus to participate, and the scene was warm and lively.
In March 2018, I was pregnant, and my family was very happy, but who knew that after a few days of going to the hospital for obstetric examination, I found that the fetus had stopped. Although the doctor reassured me that it would not affect my next pregnancy, the blow still made me very depressed.
(The place where I go the most during pregnancy is the hospital)
After 3 months of hard work, I was lucky enough to get pregnant again. The first two examination results were very good, and later found that there was no fetal heartbud, and the doctor said that he could not keep it. Eager to be a mother, I suffered a miscarriage again, why is it so difficult to have a child? I was desperate.
The doctor knew I wanted a baby, and she asked me to hang up the expert number to see. It took two months to wait for the queue, and the expert didn't say anything wrong, just let me go home and prepare for pregnancy.
However, two months have passed, I have not been pregnant, my husband comforted me and said that we do not want children, but I am not dead.
In those days I was so anxious that I didn't sleep at night, my head was tight, and I often opened my eyes until dawn. After the second fetal arrest, I suffered from depression.
(After the second fetal arrest, I got depression)
My husband watched me sullen all day, and after getting married, I had a bumpy road, and so many heavy things happened. In November 2018, he took me to Xiamen to relax and spend my honeymoon.
In the new environment, I let myself think of nothing and live happily in the present moment. Life is already very hard, don't embarrass yourself anymore.
03
Too tight a fist to grasp the quicksand, and sometimes it is easier to let go of obsession.
One morning after I came back, I found that the usual punctual menstrual leave had not come, and I excitedly ran to the pharmacy to buy test strips, and I was indeed pregnant. At that moment, I held my husband and cried happily.
A few days later, I found myself with signs of miscarriage again, and all kinds of worries and uneasiness swept in. I asked my husband to take it with me to the doctor, and when the test form came out, the doctor shook his head while looking at it. In order to protect the fetus, I became a regular visitor to the hospital again.
I was pregnant three times, the storms were constant, and I was such a spoiled pregnant woman.
(A lot of checklists during pregnancy)
Every day during my pregnancy, I had to get injections, and every two weeks I had to take blood tests for ultrasound. After 4 months and the first day of doing the color ultrasound, I was extremely nervous and afraid that the baby would not develop well.
First did the abdominal color ultrasound, the doctor looked for half a day always frowned, see I panicked. She told me that she couldn't see the fetal heartbeat. Disappointed to see me, she told me to try again. At that time, I thought it was really difficult to get pregnant, and every step was like breaking through.
Later, the doctor could finally clearly see the fetal heartbump, and she said that this time it was a good baby with vitality. Hearing her words, my tears flowed. Although life is very humorous, fortunately, I am brave enough not to easily admit defeat.
Throughout my pregnancy, I had more than 300 injections of heparin. No matter how difficult it is, I also want to save the little life in my belly and protect him in the name of maternal love.
(Son desperately protected)
On August 13, 2019, the baby was born, and after two fetal stops, I was most concerned about the health of my child. When the doctor told me it was a healthy boy, the stone in my heart finally landed.
After giving birth, I was faced with a new problem of not having children with me. The mother-in-law is not in good health, and she also has to take care of the demented elderly in her 90s.
When I got married, my father didn't agree to me marrying, but there was no way out in life. I take care of my children at home full-time, read a lot of parenting books for high-quality parenting, and also began to share parenting experiences on self-media, but updated more Buddhist.
(High-quality baby, parent-child reading)
In the two years with the baby, I often took the baby back to my grandmother's house, enjoyed the love from the family, and lived a stable and happy life.
Until 2019, the husband's business was sluggish, in order to earn more money, he began to be an online car driver, leaving early and returning late every day, and life was irregular.
04
In June 2021, my husband began to bleed in the stool, we all thought it was hemorrhoids, so we took some medicine to eat. But unexpectedly, this was actually a sign of a serious illness. By November, he was bleeding more and more profusely and began to have diarrhea.
After going to the hospital, my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. This news, like a thunderbolt on a sunny day, sentenced him to death in his prime.
What's even more tragic is that her husband's illness was discovered too late, missed the best time for surgery, and now can only rely on chemotherapy to continue his life. When I heard the news, my husband and I cried in the hospital, overwhelmed.
(After the husband suffered from cancer, he was very uneasy inside)
After the grief, we still have to face the reality. After more than 20 days, after a series of tests, my husband began to treat, and I officially lived a life of escort for cancer family members.
I have to say that chemotherapy is really very uncomfortable, after the husband's first infusion, the stomach churned until more than 2 a.m., and everything was spit out. By the time I was discharged from the hospital the next day, I was panicked and sweated a lot.
It takes a lot of patience to take care of the patient, but in addition to that, I have to support the whole family alone. Two days ago, I went to my mother-in-law's house, and I told him about my husband's cancer, and she cried for a long time.
I was going to clean up my mother-in-law's place and let her move in with us. Although the family is old (95-year-old grandfather), young (2-year-old son), sick (cancer husband) disabled (disabled mother-in-law), but the family together can also be considered complete.
When I was hospitalized for chemotherapy for the second time, my husband was still nauseous and vomiting. In order to make him more comfortable, I got him a computer, playing games is his only love, playing games is happy like a child, and a better mentality is more likely to defeat the disease.
(Husband's hobby is playing games)
After two rounds of chemotherapy, in addition to medical insurance reimbursement, we have more than 50,000 self-funded. Since her husband fell ill, the family has no financial resources.
In order to prepare more money for medical treatment, when the real estate price began to drop last year, I told my husband to sell the house. He listened and held my hand tightly, knowing that I was doing my best to save him, saying that marrying me was the greatest blessing.
05
In February this year, the house was sold, and according to the agreement, we will move to the rental house in a month. I all know that cancer ends up "empty of money", and many people advise me not to sell my house, but from the day I was diagnosed, I never thought of giving up.
(Signing of the house sale contract)
Good people may really have good rewards, and soon I received good news that the insurance my husband bought before had claimed 190,000 yuan. On the day of arrival, we were both very happy.
Although I don't want to use it for a lifetime, I am really sick now, and this money is simply a carbon in the snow for my family.
Life is hard, but the family is warm. Although the child is only two years old, he is becoming more and more sensible. When we went to the hospital, it was my husband's aunt who was taking care of him, and when I got home, I cried when I saw us.
He knew that his father had wounds on his body, so he felt sorry for his father not to let him hold it, afraid that he would hurt.
The second time I went home from chemotherapy, I told my husband that I couldn't touch the cold, my son heard it on the side, and my aunt took two pieces of rock candy for him, and my father said to give me a piece of it? He said wait until I rubbed it hot for dad to eat.
(Busy sneaking around reading with the baby)
After being sick, my husband can accompany us every day, and my mother-in-law will soon move in with us. We have no mother-in-law and daughter-in-law contradictions, her legs are not good, and there is a 40-year history of diabetes, eating must be paid attention to, I will carefully prepare delicious and nutritious meals for her.
We often had breakfast together at the small kitchen table, and my husband said it was a pleasure to eat the home-cooked meal I made. I will also accompany my son to do parent-child reading, accompany my mother-in-law to the hospital to see a doctor, and there is no lack of warmth and happiness at home every day.
Even the aunt who helped said that she liked the atmosphere of our house, wanted to move in together, and said that she would give 2,000 yuan a month for living expenses. I said no money, you like to come, feel free to welcome.
(Spend a long time every day cooking in the kitchen for your family)
Although I live on the bottom floor, I want to keep my character high. Just like doing self-media, I found that the income of patients who sold miserable was high, but I didn't want to aggrieved myself, I still wanted to show truth and optimism.
These positive energies are more useful to society than money, aren't they?
In February, when my husband was in good shape, I took him to my favorite ski resort.
The doctor said that the chest wall port was installed, as long as there was no strenuous exercise. He skied alone, and I pulled the kids on the tires and had a lot of fun. Even neighbors said he didn't look like a cancer patient.
The road ahead is still very long, I hope that our family can be healthy, the 2-year-old son grows up happily, and I, the female man, can continue to support the family.
The most hopeful thing is that the cancer special drug will be developed as soon as possible, and I hope that the husband who has a delicious mentality can defeat the disease as soon as possible, and also hope that there is no cancer in the world!
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Dictation | Xiaoyu
Edit | Nanfang
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