The biggest lie of contemporary education: children, you just have to be happy!

1、

Once in class, there was a three-year-old boy in the class who was very active, running all over the place, unwilling to queue and wait, and would go to grab the toys in the hands of children.

Of course, these are all normal.

Three-year-olds have more or less similar problems.

What makes me feel puzzled is that my mother smiled and squinted at the children the whole time.

Even if the children break the rules in various ways, they even push other children down and do not stop it.

After class, I communicated with my mother, and my mother said that her educational philosophy is happy education.

She feels that it will be hard enough for the child to go to school in the future, so she must give him a happy childhood.

So what the child wants to do, she basically won't stand in the way.

I:......

Such parents have really encountered many in my six years of professional experience.

In a word, they pursue the so-called liberal education, and children can do whatever they want.

2、

But is the so-called freedom really about doing whatever you want?

Freedom is a relative concept, and the opposite is the rule.

Let's take a simple example.

You have the freedom to drive.

But your freedom to drive is based on the fact that you have to obey the rules of the road.

If everyone does not obey the traffic rules, road killers run rampant, retrograde trucks and ox carts in line drive together on the highway, who goes first at the intersection depends on tonnage and speed, crossing the road is up to fate.

At this time, what is the meaning of your freedom to drive?

If there are no rules, there is no freedom.

Back to parenting, children live in society, so social rules are important content that children need to know and learn.

These are the foundations of life and learning after the child.

Just like children can play carefree and happy in early education institutions and playgrounds, but this freedom of play is based on some rules.

For example, you can't hurt others, you can't queue up public goods, you can't grab toys in the hands of others, you can't influence others while playing...

These things are very simple in our adult eyes, and for children whose cognitive abilities are still developing, they still need to learn slowly.

But if parents neither demonstrate nor guide, and put it all down to liberal education, I think it's irresponsible.

And from the reality of the situation, if a child grows up in an environment where he can do whatever he wants, can he adapt well to kindergarten? Can you adapt to a more restrictive elementary school?

3、

How can parents cultivate their children's sense of regularity in their daily lives?

1. Start with living habits

For example, go to bed and get up on time, do not look at the mobile phone when eating, do not play with toys, sit on the dining chair and other habits.

Parents of older children can also discuss the time of day with them and make a schedule together.

A good routine can help children better understand the concept of what time and what to do, so as to help children establish rules.

2. The "traffic light" in life.

Set up a red light item for the behavior of the child, and the red light is something that cannot be done.

This includes not touching the socket with your hands, not attacking others for no reason, not making noise in public places...

All family members are executors.

When a child makes a move to run a red light, it should be stopped in time and demonstrate the correct practice.

Remember, never have infighting among the enforcers, where mom thinks it's a red light and can't do it, but Dad acquiesces.

The ability of children to watch people's dishes is definitely beyond your imagination.

3. Parents' demonstration.

You don't want your child to hit someone, so you don't want to hit your child.

You don't want your child to always get angry and smash things, then you have to control your emotions.

There is a saying that children are our copies.

There is a problem with the photocopy, can you tell us that these originals are out of touch?

Kids won't listen to what we're saying, they'll see how we do it.

4. Let the child take responsibility for his own actions.

Many parents say that they will also make rules for their children, but it always does not work.

For example, if you tell your child that if you don't pack up the book this time, you will cancel tomorrow's story time.

But in the end, he could not stop the child's crying and compromised.

Why didn't it work?

Because what your child learns from your compromise is to avoid their own responsibilities.

Anyway, even if I don't clean up my mother, I can't stand my crying, and I can just cry when the time comes.

The correct approach is that since the communication has been made and the agreement has been reached, it must be resolutely implemented.

Let children know that each of their actions will have different consequences.

And the ultimate bearer of this consequence is himself.

Encourage all parents.

I am Early Childhood Teacher Pete, an early childhood education teacher who has been in the industry for 7 years, a positive parenting instructor, a psychological counselor, a daily update parenting dry goods, pay attention to me, and grow up with your children.