Safety Education | @ All Parents, there are adolescent children at home, do you hold it?

In order to help teachers, students and parents fight the epidemic with a good mental state, and study, live and work healthily, safely and smoothly, we hereby launch the "One Question, One Answer" family psychological adjustment guide series.

Follow the editor to see what are the tricks in this issue!

Q

What should I do if my adolescent child loses his temper and gets angry?

1. Catch your child's bad temper. Adolescent children have great emotional fluctuations due to physiological changes and the expansion of self-awareness. At this time, the child is a contradiction: on the one hand, trying to get rid of the control of parents and teachers, on the other hand, he longs for the love of the people around him, does not like adults to manage his feet, but lacks sufficient self-reliance. Their hearts are full of intricate contradictions and conflicts, resulting in emotional extremism, easy to be excited and irritable, we must first accept the child's anger, do not have to be too true and theoretical with it.

2. Guide your child appropriately. After the child is stable, find an opportunity to review with the child, tell the child the impact of emotions on others, and guide the child to manage his emotions reasonably. In the process of communicating with adolescent children, it is better to say less than to say more, leave room for children to think, and do not stimulate bad emotions again.

3. Understand the needs behind your child. The underlying cause of a child's tantrum is that the needs are not being met. For example, if you want to be independent, parents should give their children a certain space for independent decision-making and reduce control; for example, they are eager to be trusted, and they hope that parents will not imagine themselves as a child who has not yet grown up; for example, parents need to have spiritual resonance with themselves, parents need to strengthen learning, keep up with the pace of children and the growth of the times, and be a spiritual coach for children.

4. An example for parents to do a good job of emotional management. The emotional management of adolescent children is largely learned from parents, so parents should make a good model, reasonably release their emotions, do not transfer their bad emotions to others, pay more attention to positive things, stimulate their positive emotions, and thus subtly affect children.

How can adolescent children communicate effectively when they make mistakes and avoid parent-child conflict?

1. Discuss things as they are, and do not turn over old accounts. When the child makes a mistake, he communicates with the child about the current problem and discusses the current matter with the child. If it is wrong, point out exactly where the mistake is, and do not re-mention the mistakes that have been similar and deny the child completely.

2. Calm down and go straight to the target. Parents should first judge their emotions, if they feel that the anger is very large, the subjective emotions have been greater than rational thinking, they should control themselves to remain silent first, and then after putting aside the negative emotions, and then communicate with the children in a peaceful tone, the communication is not left or right, still focus on solving the current problem.

3. Sincere attitude and familiar with the "trilogy". According to the nature of the problem, communicate with the child sincerely and skillfully use the communication trilogy:

Tell the truth – Describe what the eye sees and hears with the ear without judgment and objectivity. For example, I saw yesterday it was almost twelve o'clock and you were playing with your phone.

Say feelings – how you really feel after seeing your child's behavior. Such as: I saw yesterday that it was almost twelve o'clock, you were playing with your phone, and I was worried about your body.

Say hope – the demands on the child can be euphemistic. For example: I saw yesterday that it was almost twelve o'clock, you were playing with your phone, I am worried about your body, I hope you go to bed early tonight.

4. Make a good belly draft, and be targeted. Communication with children, especially adolescent children, is an art worth studying, can not be straightforward, can be regarded as an "important person", before communication, first through the brain serious thinking, consideration, think about what is the expected goal of their own expression, what is the way the child can accept, and then carry out effective communication.

5. Make good use of silent language. Teaching by example is more important than words, parents' words and deeds affect children all the time, and they hope that children will correct which mistakes, parents should first set an example and influence children with silent language. Children also want to see the figure of parents working hard, when you become a role model for your children to be close at hand, children will naturally look back at your back and work hard silently!

Adolescent children are depressed and have many negative emotions, what to do?

1. Listen, don't interrupt or deny. When the child has negative emotions and is in a bad mood to talk to you, listen patiently, be less reasonable, try not to give advice in the process, and sometimes it may be possible to pat your back or a hug. In the process of children talking, parents should respond, do not let the child feel that you are coping or impatient, and appropriately ask some details to help guide the child.

2. Analyze and make personal suggestions. Children have negative emotions, because only see the bad results, parents should calmly with a positive, positive attitude to analyze the problem, and put forward specific suggestions to help the child solve the problem, give him sunshine and hope, the child will feel that home is a harbor to rely on, parents are their strongest backing.

3. Respect and accept the growth of children. By puberty, the child has entered a new stage of growth, there will be more independent ideas and more changeable emotions, sometimes parents may feel that their authority is offended because of the child's resistance and emotional venting, so they begin to be anxious, feel that they can not control the child. However, if the child's emotional guidance is taken as an opportunity for growth, grasp the boundaries of getting along between parents and children, not overly harsh and not blindly tolerant, and communicate calmly, rather than suppressing him with the authoritative posture of the tip of the needle to Mai Mang, I believe that better results can be achieved.