Recently, the epidemic situation in Jilin, Dongguan, Nanjing, Langfang and other cities has been "repeated", and some schools have opened a "cloud learning" mode at home.
With the advent of the extended version of the winter vacation, while the time spent between parents and children becomes more, the situation of "motherly kindness and filial piety" can easily become "chicken flying dog jumping".
Parent-child relationship is an important part of family relationship, especially in the extraordinary period of the outbreak of the new crown pneumonia epidemic, which tests the harmony of parent-child relationship.
Tired of looking at each other? Is home learning the "fuse" for the deterioration of parent-child relationships?
"Every day online classes, grinding and rubbing to get up, learning to concentrate, always playing while listening, a little bit of two words, just say that I complain, I still need to work from home, work pressure plus children disobedience, really make me very anxious." 」 This is the words of a parent in the group who complained about his son.
In addition to her, many parents have reported that the parent-child relationship during the epidemic has become somewhat "tense", which can easily trigger a "family war".
During the home isolation period, the reason why children and parents quarrel is mainly because parents have many expectations for their children, such as: going to bed early and getting up early, studying hard, touching mobile phones less, not playing games, and working hard.
However, under the repeated reinforcement of parents, in the eyes of children, these have become urging, nagging and disgust, the stricter the management, the more serious and rebellious the psychology, the more rebellious, such a vicious circle.
So how should parents calm the "war" and deal with the "stay-at-home" parent-child conflict?
1.
Put it flat and look at the child's state correctly
The family naturally has a relaxed atmosphere, home learning lacks the collective constraints of the school, the pressure is reduced, and the child's self-requirements are more relaxed and loose, which is a relatively normal phenomenon.
Try to think differently: If I were a child, how would I feel?
Talk to your child on an equal footing on a rational basis.
Sometimes parents are easy to make a big fuss in the face of their children's problems, and the emotions are "on the head" in an instant, at this time you can ask yourself:
Are my negative emotions really because of the child? Or because of the pandemic, work pressure, or other reasons.
Solving the source of emotions is the right solution.
2.
Proactively enhance negative emotion management skills
Everyone has emotions, emotions are not good or bad, we should not control emotions, but manage emotions. Parents should lead by example and set an example.
When you recognize that your emotions are out of control, postpone the evaluation, leave the scene first, and stabilize your emotions.
Neither use the explosive way (such as: accusation, anger scolding the child), nor suppress their emotional state (such as: do not communicate, hold feelings), but choose a reasonable way with the child to actively express emotions.
For example, if you say to your child, I am very angry now, my emotions are about to explode, I want to pause, wait until I calm down and talk to you, or take a deep breath.
3.
Grasp the big and let go of the small, and have boundaries
Grasping the big and letting go of the small, there are principles in big things, and boundaries in small things.
For example, you can't skip online classes, you must write homework and other major things, and you must pay attention to principles. But in the harmless life section, try to respect the child's choice and do not interfere too much.
Respect the child's psychological boundaries and do not overly control the child, such as knocking on the door before entering the house, and not forcing the child to open the door to study.
If everything is accompanied, the parents also lose their lives. For example, every day to accompany homework, learning seems to become a parent's business.
4.
Combine work and leisure, and arrange time reasonably
Parents can work with their children to make a schedule of the whole family's life, rest, fitness, study, entertainment, etc., and do their own things without disturbing each other.
Control the time of use of the child's mobile phone, and the child agree on the time and market for the use of the mobile phone and the Internet every day, and abide by the rules formulated together.
Many parents are isolated at home due to the epidemic, but also have work, do not over-focus on children, do their own things, turn their attention, but also further alleviate anxiety.
During the epidemic period, pay attention to the psychological state of children in time, we cannot raise children like pets, but should establish a parent-child relationship of companionship and common growth.
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