Daughters should be protected, taken care of, held in the palm of their hands. Indeed, those who have daughters in the family will be slightly more pampered, but no matter how pampered, it is recommended that some pits should be avoided, after all, we parents cannot accompany our children for a lifetime, and they still need to go on their own for a long time. What we can do is not to give them too many restrictions because of their gender when they are young.
Therefore, these few misunderstandings of raising daughters, it is recommended that you do not step on:
Myth 1: Tell your daughter that girls should look like girls
Regardless of boys and girls, it is the nature of children to love to play. But until now, I still often hear my parents or grandparents say, "Play so crazy, like what, girls should have a girl's appearance."
Girls and boys are treated differently and expected from birth. Most of the toys that parents buy for their daughters are various dolls and household items; toy manufacturers will also make girls' toys pink or cute shapes.
Parents' expectations of girls are mostly beautiful, obedient, and well-behaved.
The author of "The Power of Play" said in the book: "The unrealistic and distorted expectations of girls' appearance have sent many girls into the swamp of powerlessness."
Freestyle skiing, which makes Gu Ailing famous in China, needs to take off at a very fast speed, spin in the air, and finally land on the ground. This series of actions seems to the audience to be smooth and complete, but the difficulties and challenges behind it, without enough courage and strength to control, it is impossible to complete.
Skiing is not only difficult, but also dangerous, and Gu Ailing began to learn at the age of three. In addition to skiing, she also loves running and playing basketball. These sports, in the eyes of most parents, are not what girls should enjoy. But it is precisely because Gu Ailing's mother did not set limits for her because of gender that she had such a decathlon daughter.
Myth two: let your daughter be obedient and obedient
In addition to requiring girls to be girl-like, "be obedient and obedient" is also what parents often say to girls.
Under this requirement, the child's desire to try and explore new things and new ideas will be discouraged, because doing so will be considered by parents to be disobedient and disobedient.
Children's curiosity and curiosity are extinguished, they cannot feel the joy of independent exploration and curiosity, they only know how to listen to others when they encounter things, they do not have their own opinions and judgments, they do not know what they want, and when they grow up, they are even less likely to be responsible for their own lives.
Gu Ailing was interviewed after winning the first gold medal of the Winter Olympics, and in the face of the provocation of American reporters, she confidently and powerfully replied: "I am just an 18-year-old girl, I don't need to please anyone, I enjoy the process of hard work, take responsibility for my life, and do my best to use my strength to bring positive changes to my field." ”
This is the mind and goal that a girl should have.
Myth three: reluctant to let her daughter suffer
Reluctance to let daughters suffer is a common disease of many "daughter slaves".
But the child's life will eventually have to be faced by the child himself, when he was a child, he was reluctant to suffer his daughter, did not have enough experience and growth, and when she grew up to face the hardships of life, she was likely to be unable to pick it up.
"Give your child a warm and solid reliance, but also a hard child's wings", we must believe that our daughters also have infinite potential, they can do a lot of things.
Wang Yaping, who is still on the lunar space station, is China's first female astronaut in orbit for more than 100 days, and behind her successful flight is the devil training. Overweight endurance training alone can make people smell discolored, facial muscles deformed, tears flowing, breathing difficulties, confusion. However, Wang Yaping successfully completed these difficult trainings and became the first female astronaut in China to go out of the cabin.
Girls and boys are actually no different, they can solve all kinds of problems, complete all kinds of challenges, do not need to deliberately protect their daughters, daughters also have to feel the value and meaning of life in the struggle.
Myth 4: Believe that your daughter should be rich and not teach her to be independent
The saying that "daughters should be rich" is widely circulated, and many parents believe that they should give their daughters all kinds of good material conditions within the scope of their abilities, so as not to be deceived by the small favors of boys when they grow up.
In fact, this statement itself is untenable, because a person's vision is not determined by her material life, her thoughts, her insights, is her independence and not to be fooled.
Esther Wojcicki, author of "Silicon Valley Super Parent Lessons", is revered as the "Godmother of Silicon Valley", and celebrities such as Jobs's daughter and Jeremy Lin are her students. As a mother, Esther has produced three outstanding daughters, two as CEO of the company and one as a professor at a prestigious university.
When asked "how to raise children to become CEOs", Esther replied, "In the long life and learning of children, they are their own CEOs, and parents should strive to make them learn to be independent, responsible, share and love." Getting them to have a sound personality is more important than becoming a CEO. ”
This is true for boys and so are girls.
As a parent, we must build a solid backing for our daughters with full love, give them more courage and strength on the road of their daughters' growth, and cultivate their children to grow into independent, confident and strong in their hearts.
"Parents' imagination is limited, and children's lives have infinite possibilities", putting aside the inherent limitations of girls' parenting, jumping out of the various pits of raising daughters, and giving them a broader stage to explore and grow.