Two years of fighting sleeping scum: from anxiety to Buddhism

Do you have a sleeping scumbag baby in your house? How did you "wrestle wits" with your baby?

Let's listen to the story of Lilac Mother Planet's Bao Mama @ Lan Xiao Lamb.

My baby is very worthy of the title of sleeping dregs, two and a half years old or do not sleep, how to wake up two or three times a night.

Before weaning, the highest number of night awakenings is 11 times in 10 hours, it is difficult to fall asleep, wake up on the ground, frequent night awakenings are routine operations, I feel that the old mother can live all by a breath of fairy breath hanging; one year old and eight months of weaning, naïve I thought I could sleep well after weaning, too young too naive; two years old and two months when I slept for the first time, excited I want to beat the gong and drum, thinking that spring is coming, but unfortunately only once or twice, night awakening is the norm.

As a senior late mom, for more than two years, I experienced the torture of staying up late for a long time, physical overdraft, and mental breakdown. Fortunately, I insisted on it, from the initial restlessness to the current Buddhist calmness, which is the result of fighting wits and courage with sleeping slag treasures.

Round 1: The beginning of the crash

I am a person with an extremely regular schedule during pregnancy, the sleep time will not exceed ten o'clock every day, itself is also a sleep god physique, there is no insomnia problem during the whole pregnancy, my husband is also the kind of person who falls asleep in seconds, I thought that two sleeping god children, how to be a small sleeper, who ever wanted to give birth to a sleeping dross baby.

At first, I didn't understand, the child always cried, always woke up, woke up once every two hours at night, more exaggerated during the day, and woke up once in ten minutes, I was always afraid that the baby was not uncomfortable. When the sister-in-law helps to take care of it, I can relax a little, after the sister-in-law left, the baby experienced neonatal pneumonia, intestinal colic and other kinds of discomfort, making me highly nervous, the child cried I thought it was physical discomfort, the child slept less I worried that it would affect the development. At its worst, I often collapse and cry, and I feel a little anxious and depressed.

After surviving the first half of the year, I gradually began to understand the temperament of this high-demand baby, excluding the association between crying and waking up at night and physical discomfort, and the growth indicators were also normal, I was relieved for a long time, and the fighting spirit of fighting with sleeping dregs was rekindled.

Round 2: Tossing and Turning

Because of the baby's sleep problems, I bought a lot of books, checked a lot of materials, learned a lot of sleep methods, and tossed for a while. In the stage of the baby's 5 to 8 months, after the pneumonia was discharged from the hospital, I began to start independent sleep training, and the online method and the method taught by friends tried one by one, and the results were not great. Even once, in order to train him, I forced him to cry for three hours, and the result was that I was exhausted and the child cried heart out. After that, I began to wonder deeply to myself: What the hell am I? What's the point of doing all this?

After training for a period of time, the sleeping dross problem is still in place, there is no hope, and in the end it is still the most effective to sleep in the hug and milk. Coupled with the fact that I have always been with my own children, staying up during the day and staying up at night, I really don't have more energy to toss and turn, so I simply give up.

After tossing and turning for a while, I understood that whether it is sleep or independent sleep training, it is really divided into children. For example, my colleague's child can sleep seven hours at night from two months and can't come to sleep.

Round Three: The Dawn of Weaning Milk

The mothers in the parenting group all said that after weaning the milk, I can sleep the whole night, so that my original heart that was a little bit of recognition of life was stupid and wanted to move, so it was better to try to wean the night milk first.

To nine months, sleep is relatively regular, generally wake up four times at night, for me, has been a very good state of sleep, compared to the previous intestinal colic, I and My father two people from two or three o'clock in the morning to take turns to sleep, to now a sleep of about three hours, after eating milk can continue to sleep, I have been too satisfied, no other requirements, can let me sleep with peace of mind.

So in more than nine months, on the question of whether to wean the night milk, I struggled for a long time, I was afraid that if the night milk was not successful, I would go back to the liberation overnight, and I felt that if I succeeded, I would be completely liberated. Finally, I decided to take a gamble and started my first attempt at weaning.

My father and I took turns to stay up for two nights, basically kept crying, crying tired and sleeping for an hour, and then woke up and cried for a few hours, after tossing and turning for four days, the two of us adults couldn't stay up at all, the child still cried very strongly, this is really afraid, I instigated, take the initiative to give up. The worst result came, and the sleeping dregs who re-fed night milk began to revolt fiercely, and the number of night milks rose to 11 times.

Round 4: Negative compromises

The failure of the first night milk was still a big blow to me, and for a long time, I was a little negative and did not dare to act rashly. Objectively speaking, in addition to the sleep is a bit of scum, the child is still relatively well-behaved, the complementary food is added smoothly, the body development is also very good, that is, from time to time there will be a little problem, itself is the sake of premature babies, in the heartache and maternal love filter of the double blessing, I have not considered the problem of weaning, one is because breast milk is the best ration, good for the child's resistance, the second is the thought that one day will be weaned, but also let me a little reluctant.

During this time, I have been quite calm, and I have not asked for anything to sleep and fall asleep on my own. It doesn't matter how much you sleep, you can wake up frequently at night, my requirement is that as long as you can sleep, you can't go any lower.

At this stage, I have no anxiety at all, the baby's intellectual development is normal, there is discomfort can also be expressed, there is nothing to be anxious about, children who are born with less awareness and lack of security, they will work hard and stay up a little.

Round 5: New Strategies for The Buddha

When I was one year and eight months old, breast milk was seriously urgent, and there was also a plan to return to the workplace, weaning must be put on the agenda, unexpectedly, weaning is still smooth, it may be that the child is older and more sensible. I was completely weaned, but I still woke up at night, either drinking water or touching milk, which also bothered me at one time.

I have completely let go of the obsession with sleeping, and for new problems, I have adopted a new strategy of soldiers to block and water to cover up: Mom and Dad take turns sleeping with their children one day.

After weaning, it is not necessary to be a mother, and I accidentally found that sleeping with my father is not bad, at least not touching the milk. When you sleep with your mother, you have to sing nursery rhymes, play games, tell stories, and when you sleep with your father, there are not so many rituals, and you can fall asleep like your father for seconds. So we are currently responsible for coaxing the father to sleep, and then one person takes turns to sleep with him every day, so as to at least ensure the quality of a person's sleep, which is the experience summed up in the long-term struggle with the sleeping scum.

After spending more than two years with sleeping dregs, I think that the most important thing to transform sleeping dregs into sleeping gods is two points: the sleeping god physique and scientific methods of coaxing, try not to let children fall into the vicious circle of milk sleep and night awakening.

But each child's situation is different, like my family's, I have tossed it with my heart, and I have not successfully transformed it. My experience as a sleeping scum mother is like saying, I understand the reason, that is, I can't learn, the fact is true, meeting a sleeping scum baby is really a bit of a heart, I am still fighting in the front line of the struggle, but after the mentality is flattened, I feel that the day of the willow dark flowers is getting closer and closer.

Audit expert Zhu Xiaojie

IMPI Mother and Baby Sleep Counselor

Happiest Baby Certified Infant Comfort Instructor