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Although material is important, interpersonal relationships will inevitably affect our development, but this can only give us short-term happiness and feelings, but in the end, its origin should follow its spiritual essence, and spiritual values are the basis for supporting self-growth.
Friends are our growth and progress on the road to support and companionship, but not the foundation, more essence should be based on themselves, too much hope on friends, and try to use friends to promote their own progress, in fact, is the end of the upside down, maintain the so-called order, identify with the so-called social operation, but also in the loss of their own road to go farther and farther.
We will even find that the higher the people are, the lonelier they are, because everyone grows up alone, and the more they grow, the fewer the excellent people around them, after all, excellent is only synonymous with a small number.
Then when our spiritual realm is raised to a certain level, our pursuit of interpersonal relationships will be reduced, and we are not willing to put too much energy and time into social and emotional.
And for those who always think of themselves as "my friends", the person who analyzes interpersonal relationships to the top usually lacks relatively deep cognition and self-instinct, because he spends too much time in dealing with others, thinking that as long as he goes with the flow, maintaining superficial peace and intimacy is his capital and ability.
And those who "don't fit in" will spend more time on themselves, neglect the skills of interpersonal relationships, will cherish the real friends who accompany them, a person indulges too much in unnecessary socializing, and spends time and money to deal with the so-called "fox dog friend" relationship, there is no real sense of growth for each other.
They will lack the ability to see the essence through the phenomenon, and mistakenly regard interpersonal relationships as the criterion for their own success. Even with the recognition that making friends now is the capital of your future success, you can judge your own behavior.
For those who like to form gangs and call brothers and brothers, they hope to strengthen their own abilities with the superficial harmony of this group, and even engage in antagonistic behavior by excluding dissidents, the more naïve people are, the more they try to increase their abilities through the power of others.
Increase your sense of existence from group relationships, even make interpersonal relationships your life choices, replace all other work with interpersonal relationships, and think that your abilities and resources are here.
"Gentlemen are harmonious and different" Perhaps the ancients have also recognized this level, too immersed in the so-called "friendship relationship", will put the cart before the horse, and the friend as a kind of degeneration tool that can be used, too immersed will only make themselves appear naïve and extremely counterproductive.
Schopenhauer also once said: "The premature understanding of the world by young people indicates mediocrity of nature." ”
But Schopenhauer's original intention was to see whether a person was mediocre, not to see the achievements of this person, nor to see his wealth and his ability and leadership value, but to see whether he was pure in mind, had endless curiosity about the world in society, and was willing to explore the secrets of the world with himself.
If young people are too early to understand the world, they will prematurely have the wisdom and worldly ability of life, then thinking and wisdom and even the philosophy of life have nowhere to hide.
Such a young man seems to have many friends, thriving in society, and at ease, but in fact he has lost his philosophy of life, lost his ability to explore higher wisdom, lost the value of critical thinking, and what remains is the pandering of social interpersonal relations, being assimilated by society, using all objective rules as a tool for the use of his own life, thus degenerating into a thoughtless crowd, and the final result is "mediocrity".
The essence of young people's growth is the spirit of criticism and thinking, when we can arouse passion for emptiness, not satisfied in desire, we will reflect on what we do, have a higher pursuit, then we can have more philosophy of life.
Although man himself is a social animal and identifies with order in the process of adaptation, while interacting with society and other people, it is actually a process of losing himself.
To cope with it with ease in society, to learn too much about the ability to adapt to society and to drill camps, it is getting earlier and earlier from their own hearts, divorced from their own nature, and lose their freedom.
So for those who like to make friends, spending too much time will be eager to turn themselves into "social people", and even complacent that their social skills are particularly strong, but this act of losing themselves is actually very stupid and very sad.
True socialization is not simply assimilation, but while respecting the social order, maintaining one's own alienation and individuality, blindly pandering will only lose oneself, and the deeper the socialization, the more one identifies, the more one loses oneself and becomes a tool of order.
- The End -
Author | Tommida
Edit | Wan'an
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).