Refusal to go to school is when children are very frustrated with the idea of going to school and often miss part or all of their school days. This distress will not go away.
Refusal to go to school can mean that the child has difficulty going to school or leaving home – they may not go to school at all. Children who refuse to go to school often spend the day at home knowingly by their parents, even though their parents work very hard to get them to go to school.
Refusal to attend school can be a problem for children in primary and secondary schools.
Refusal to attend school is not a formal psychiatric diagnosis. This is the name of a problem with emotions and/or behavior.
Signs of refusing to go to school
If your child refuses to go to school, you may feel that the evening and morning of school is a "battle of wills." Your child may:
Crying, throwing tantrums, yelling or screaming
Hide or lock in your room
Refusal to move
Begging or begging not to go
Complaining about pain, aches, and illnesses before school usually gets better if you keep your child home
Exhibits a high degree of anxiety
Difficulty falling asleep
Threaten to hurt yourself.
Reasons for refusal to attend school
There is rarely a single reason for refusing to go to school. It may be associated with anxiety or worry about leaving home, phobias, learning difficulties, social problems at school, or depression.
Absenteeism may begin gradually or suddenly. It may occur at the same time as or after the following:
Stressful events at home or at school or with peers
Family and peer conflict
Start or change schools
uproot
Bullying or teasing
Teacher's question
Poor school grades.
By not going to school, children may be able to:
Avoid scary things – for example, exams, certain teachers, cafeterias, etc
Get rid of social situations with peers or teachers
Keep an eye on what's going on at home – for example, if a family member or pet gets sick.
Find out about your child's school refusals
The first step in addressing your child's refusal to attend school is to try to understand the problem from your child's point of view. This means you can go to school with useful information.
Determine why your child is having trouble going to school
Talk to your child about school and why they don't want to go. Try to find out if your child has a problem with their peers or teachers, or if they are trying to avoid something. For example, "If you could change one thing in school, what would it be?" ”
If your child finds it difficult to talk about this issue, ask your child to rate each part of the school day —for example, by bus, classroom, professional class, teacher, classmate, recess, and lunch break. Younger children may find it easier to tell you how they feel by pointing to symbols like sad faces or smiley faces.
Think about whether something happened at home that made it difficult for children to leave and go to school. For example, has your family passed away or recently moved? Is your child worried about someone in the house, or your dog is unwell?
Find solutions to reject schools
Help your child address any barriers to leaving home or going to school. Clearly define the problem and then brainstorm possible solutions. Select the option that has the best results.
Tell your child that you will be with their school to help them get to school.
If your child feels that they cannot control their worries or fears about school, talk to your child about going to see a counselor or psychologist.
It's important when your child is getting help with an issue that leads to refusal to go to school. When your child goes to school, this builds their confidence and resilience. It keeps your child connected to learning, which is important for social development. If children don't leave school long, it's usually easier for them to return to school.
Work with schools to address school refusals
The best way to get your child back to school is to work with your child's school. It's best to talk to your child's classroom teacher, homeroom teacher, or grade coordinator first.
Here are some of the things you can cover:
Explain your child's situation and why your child refuses to go to school – for example, bullying, learning difficulties, mental health issues, etc.
If your child is being bullied, talk about how this is affecting your child. You can ask the school about their management and strategies to prevent bullying.
Ask other support staff, such as school counselors, if they can help your child. Ask if you can regularly update your child's progress and support needs.
If your child has learning difficulties that make it difficult for your child to enjoy learning, ask what support the school can provide.
If your child needs ongoing support to continue school, ask your school if you want to form an attendance student support group. The group can work with you to find the best way to support your child's attendance.
Talk to the school to gradually get your child back to school. For example, your child might start with a shorter school day or their favorite subject and start there.
Children have the right to learn and develop in a safe and healthy school environment. If refusal to attend school is related to school-age bullying or bullying by teenagers, it is best to work with the school to resolve the issue.
Addressing School Denial at Home: Practical Strategies
Here are some practical things you can do at home to encourage your child to go to school.
When you talk to your child
Show your child that you understand. For example, you could say, 'I can see you're worried about going to school.' I know it's difficult, but it's good for you to go. Your teacher and I will help you.
Use clear, calm statements to let your child know that you want them to go to school. Say "when" instead of "if". For example, you can say "When you're at school tomorrow..." instead of "If you come to school tomorrow...".
Show that you believe your child can go to school by saying positive and encouraging words. For example, "You showed how brave you were by going to school." This will build your child's self-confidence.
Use direct statements and don't give your child the opportunity to say "No!" For example, "It's time to get up" or "Joe, get up and take a shower."
When you and your child are at home
Hold your horses. If your child sees you worried, stressed, or depressed, this can make your child's anxiety worse.
With morning and evening routines, plan to start the day calmly. For example, prepare a uniform, lunch, and school bag the night before, have your child shower or bathe in the evening, and get your child to bed on time.
Class time makes your home "boring" so you don't unexpectedly reward your child for not going to school. This means little or no TV or video games, etc. You may want to consider not having your child use the phone during school hours.
Have your child at home in school-provided jobs. This will help ensure that your child doesn't fall behind in class assignments.
Offers to reduce the consequences of children getting attention for not going to school – for example, going to bed early or having limited time with you at night.
School
If you can, have someone else send your child to school. Children often cope better with separation at home rather than at school gates.
Praise and reward your child for going to school. For example, if your child goes often, they can get extra technical time, a special outing with their parents to their favorite park, or their favorite dinner.
Your child needs your love and support to get back to school. So focus on whatever effort your child is making to get back, be patient with your child's progress, and try to frustrate yourself as much as possible. This will help your child build the confidence they need to return to school regularly.
Take care of yourself
Refusal to study can be difficult to deal with and can be very worrisome. Taking care of yourself with healthy food, regular exercise and adequate rest are good for your health and well-being. When you are healthy, you will be better able to support your child in school.
Getting support from a trusted friend or mental health professional can often be of great help as well.