Text | Thirteenth sister
I heard that many children's hospitals now have a department called "Learning Difficulties Clinic". Alas, as soon as I heard the name, I didn't have to go to the doctor, I already felt anxiety ...
At first, I thought this was some kind of unpopular outpatient clinic, but I didn't expect some parents to say that No. 1 is difficult to find. Someone took the baby to the doctor, and waited in line for the morning...
In order to take their children to see this outpatient clinic, some people grab the number appointment at a fixed time every week, and the number one is difficult to find, it seems that not only have to fight for speed, but also have to fight character.
Good guy, the last time I saw so many parents lining up for their children day and night, it should still be at the door of some cram school before the double minus, right?
A few years have passed, and parents have not snatched a hard-to-find gold medal sprint class for their children, and have become the hard-to-find expert clinic for the baby...
Some doctors said that the "Learning Difficulties Clinic" receives an average of more than 500 consultations a day, and the number of people visiting this clinic has increased several times since the resumption of offline school.
Alas, I don't know how, how this class of children has so many learning difficulties.
Some netizens don't quite understand, how can learning difficulties become a disease? Still need to see a doctor? Do you even need to take medicine?
A mother took her baby to see a "learning difficulties clinic" and prescribed more than 700 yuan of medicine, and some netizens did not understand: can you solve learning difficulties by taking medicine? Wouldn't everyone be a top student?
That's not really the case.
It is said that it is a "learning difficulties clinic", but in fact, the disease seen can be interpreted as "treatment of problems related to learning difficulties". Many children are not subjectively "do not like to learn", but due to various such and such physical or psychological problems, learning difficulties are only a symptom.
But this leads us to think about another question: Why do so many children suffer from these physical or mental disorders?
This is probably the really complicated reason for our thinking.
There are children who reject everything that adults want them to do well, not just studying. You let him learn, he rejects learning, you let him play, he even rejects playing.
At present, among the patients received by some psychologists, there are many students in the first and second grades of primary school. Do you think children will not be depressed or anxious? In fact, their psychological problems are more difficult to detect.
There is a concept in psychology called "mental resilience", and children must go through a series of risks or adversities that are not conducive to development in order to achieve mental resilience. But if you don't get protective factors when experiencing these risks or adversities, you will not only not gain mental toughness, but also mental illness.
So you see it, right? The focus is on this "protective factor", which includes a lot, but the part from the family is the top priority.
So how can families protect their children's resilience? Here's a "parenting model" diagram:
"Responsiveness" refers to whether your response to your child's questions or needs is timely and reasonable. "High and low" represents your various requirements for your baby, including learning.
The four quadrants are the four types of parents:
Demanding but less responsive = dictatorial
Low requirements, low responsiveness also = ignorant type
Low requirements but high responsiveness = doting
High requirements, high degree of responsiveness = authoritative
In the most ideal parent-child relationship, the parent type is "authoritative", that is, the requirements for the baby are relatively high, but they can also give a timely, reasonable and equal response in time.
The other three are not good, each has its own hidden dangers -
Authoritarian parents force their children to learn this and that, ignore their children's feedback, and insist on pulling out seedlings to help them, this kind of low-response hegemonic parents is easy to force their children out of psychological problems.
Neglectful parents under the banner of "free-range" of "pure happy education", have too low requirements for their children, and do not care about their children's needs. Permissiveness will also frustrate children's self-esteem and produce some psychological problems of low self-esteem or lack of love.
Coddling parents rely on the baby for everything, the whole one "no requirements only obedience", the harm of doting no longer need to be said, everyone should understand.
If you change to a more understandable expression, you can refer to the figure below.
Therefore, as long as you think about it, you can probably understand why there are so many children with problems now, and the "Learning Difficulties Clinic" No. 1 is difficult to find.
Paradoxically, some parents seem to be more likely to receive treatment than children with "learning difficulties".
It is said that about 20% of the children who take their children to the "learning difficulties clinic" are not a problem at all.
In other words, it is the parents of these children who "self-diagnose" their children, conclude that they have "learning difficulties", and then bring their children to "treat".
Just because the child does not meet the expectations of the parents, they think that the child is "difficult to learn."
Maybe it's only when the child's academic performance is outstanding and the parents' faces are bright every time, and in their eyes the baby is called "no difficulty"?
If they know that the parent's "protective factor" is the most important part of children's "mental toughness", will they only want to have a light on their face, regardless of the child's health?
In fact, I quite suggest that next to these "learning difficulties clinics", an auxiliary clinic be added, called "Parenting Difficulties Clinic".
Parents are also first-time parents, it is normal to have problems, may really not be clear whether it is their own problems or children's problems, since learning difficulties need treatment, parenting difficulties can not be cured?
Once the doctor of the "Learning Difficulties Clinic" confirms that there is no problem with the child, he can immediately refer the parents to the "Parenting Difficulties Clinic" next door to diagnose them where their problems are, which should be channeled, and whether they should prescribe medicine.
This year, when parents see a "difficult clinic", there is really no shame, everyone is healthy is really healthy.