In the long history of China for 5,000 years, there is a saying that has been handed down - filial piety under the stick, is this sentence still applicable today?
No parent has no waves in their hearts after hitting their children, and even blame themselves for being easy to do to their children, but when the emotions are in place, it is easy to control themselves, and afterwards they can only use "filial piety under the stick" to comfort themselves.
However, now that it is the 21st century, it is still an extremely developed Internet era, and there is still a lot of parenting knowledge on major social platforms, including whether parents should beat their children and what impact on their children.
Today Xin Xin suddenly took a few of his books and told me that he wanted me to take him to buy stickers and paste those blank patterns, and I said many times, that it was not for pasting, but for the teacher to teach drawing in class, but he just wouldn't listen.
After a while, I ran over to me and asked me to take him to buy stickers, I explained over and over again, in order to take care of his emotions I also comforted him, but he pinched me to death, and directly began to cry, saying that he just wanted to buy a sticker, why didn't you want to take him? Don't you love him anymore?
I immediately lost my temper and said, "I said that this sticker cannot be bought in the bookstore, and the pattern on the book is not used to paste, it is used to draw, do you really understand people's words?" The more I scolded him, the louder he cried, and I couldn't help but do it.
Just when I was holding a hanger in my hand, I hit his hand a few times, and his hands were red, but he didn't dare to cry, a very afraid look, as long as I raised my hand, he subconsciously hid back, and I was a little distressed to see it.
But I was his old mother, so how could I easily bow my head and succumb to him? After drying my clothes, I was lying on the bed playing with my phone, and then he came to me and found me under the steps, "Mom, you haven't apologized to me yet."
I also went down the steps he gave and said sorry to him, but I didn't expect him to cry again, "Is it useful for you to tell me that I'm sorry?" You just beat me to death, it's useless to apologize."
At that time, I was really angry and laughing, obviously he wanted me to apologize to him, why is it useless to apologize to me now? I don't know who taught him this set of words, but I also knew that my actions were wrong, and I knew it from the moment he trembled and hid from me.
Many people may think that filial piety can indeed be produced under the stick, at least after hitting the child, the child will still run to you and say "Mom I love you", "Mom, you don't get angry", "Mom, I won't do this next time", but what is the impact of often hitting the child, do you really know?
Children who are often beaten, the most important character is relatively fragile, no self-confidence, no sense of security.
Parental care is the best nourishment for children, no matter what they do wrong, children hope that parents can comfort themselves for the first time and give themselves an encouraging hug.
But now parents, often say that the child does not understand things, feel that the child is too naughty and mischievous, beat the child without a word, and will only regret it after the fight, and it is not good to pull down the face to apologize to the child.
But does regret help? For today's parents, the guilt after hitting the child is only the guilt of those few minutes, and the next time if the child is still mischievous, or disobedient, the parents will not be wrong.
It may be influenced by the thinking of the older generation, feeling that children will not obey if they are not beaten, but children who are often beaten will appear particularly fragile in terms of personality, and they are also insecure, timid and inferior, and they cannot develop the dating circle well out of society.
Children who have not been beaten are different, they are braver and more sunny than children who are often beaten, they will go forward when they encounter anything, their hearts are very strong, and the gap is obvious.
In addition, children who are often beaten have a more violent personality, cannot make friends, will also have hatred for their parents, and even rebel against their parents when they grow up.
Parents who send their children to kindergarten may find that some children are really naughty, very mischievous, always love to grab toys with other children, grab but fight, is a typical bear child.
Sometimes when the parents are called, the parents will sincerely apologize to the bullied classmates, but most of them say to their children, "I have nothing to do with me again, you see how I go home and clean you up."
In this way, children will have uncivilized behavior in kindergarten, which is completely inherited from their parents, and their temper is more grumpy, while other children naturally do not want to play together when they see such classmates.
At this time, the child may feel resentful of his parents for letting himself be humiliated outside, and may deliberately trip his parents up, and when he grows up, he may not be able to disobey his parents!
However, children who have been respected since childhood and have not been beaten and scolded are different, they will appear more calm in dealing with people, and when they encounter things, they will only think about how to solve things, rather than using violence to solve them, such children are likable everywhere.
Xin Mama's message:
In the 5,000 years of history handed down by our Greater China, there are many essences that can be passed down by future generations, but there are also many dross that need to be discarded, such as filial piety under the stick.
Nowadays, beating children will only make children more rebellious, and if they are serious, they may also break the law, which is completely inconsistent with the concept of filial piety under the stick.
Therefore, no matter how much emotion is in place, do not use your hands and feet on the child at will, because every slap you slap and every stick you hit on the child will be returned to you in different ways.