Da Zhang recently sighed because of some conflicts between him and his mother-in-law, and recently he complained that his children were also affected by this trivial matter between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Every time the grandmother and the mother quarreled, the child would say to the two parents with grievances, "Don't you quarrel anymore, every time you quarrel, I am very sad." ”
Mom responded impatiently, "We have contradictions that are two of us, you just have to study your habits, don't care so much." ”
Da Zhang was very confused, although there was a contradiction between him and his mother-in-law, but the two people in front of the child is still the same, usually do not ignore the child, she asked me "There is a contradiction between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, does it really have an impact on the child?" ”
In fact, the mother-in-law war is a dark dispute, no matter which team the child stands on, it will be injured, and the family contradictions must be adjusted in time, otherwise the impact of these three points on the child cannot be ignored!
First, growing up in an unstable family environment, children are easily insecure
Many parents think that as long as they tell their children clearly, "The things between adults have nothing to do with you, you can study with peace of mind." "I think that such a statement will not affect the child's mood change."
But in fact, whether it is the relationship between husband and wife, or the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the family has a contradiction, and parents will inevitably release their emotions when communicating with their children, and it is likely that they will inadvertently complain to each other with their children and take their children as their own objects.
Even if the parents are too emotional and do not hold back for a while, the child may become their own punching bag, if the child is often in such a tense and worried family atmosphere, it is easy to be worried and uneasy, no sense of security.
Second, families with long-term quarrels can easily make children uncultured
In addition to the child's sense of security will be affected, if the long-term family atmosphere is in a cold environment, the child lacks the companionship and common parenting of parents, and the personality will also be changed.
Because it is a disputed environment, the family cares less for each other, and the child naturally does not know how to understand others. In the process of ordinary life, or meet elders or teachers, naturally will not take the initiative to say hello and become very uncultured. In the interpersonal communication of children when they grow up, children do not know how to care about and understand others.
The second is the long-standing dispute between the family, the mutual insults, accusations, etc., these bad behaviors will also let the children learn and emulate. When children have conflicts and conflicts with others, it is naturally difficult for children to learn how to communicate and resolve their emotions. When encountering things, their first reaction is not how to solve them, but to argue and shirk like parents, and even repeatedly sarcastically and hit others with particularly bad words.
Third, children are prone to repeat the same mistakes and do not know how to deal with future family problems
We often hear such a sentence, children who live in happy families from childhood will grow up to be happy, and children who are unfortunate in childhood are likely to repeat the same mistakes in their lifetime.
The reason behind this sentence is because of the power of parental example. Children who have been in a good family atmosphere for a long time know what the correct way to deal with contradictions between family members is what is the right way to deal with them; on the contrary, if the relationship between the elders is not handled well, how can the child learn to deal with the relationship?
Moreover, it is generally difficult for both parents to agree on their children's educational ideas. If the child makes a mistake, the parents will accuse each other of their mistakes at this time, which will confuse the child's concept of right and wrong, and learn how to evade responsibility from the family loophole.
Disclaimer: The pictures in the text are from ins, the blogger is @kidzootd, if you also have your own unique insights in the process of educating and parenting, or encounter problems that confuse you, welcome to explore yo ~ together