People will have emotional out of control when, who has not collapsed on the road to raising a baby?
Even if you silently repeat "biological" a hundred times in your heart, when faced with the child who has fallen into an emotional black hole, you will still be angry and attack your heart, a split-head and face-covering roar!
Instead of letting yourself fall into the infinite cycle of "tantrums– self-blame – tantrums again", let it go and face it calmly:
I am a real person, not a perfect mom.
Real people have emotions, tempers, and negative moments full of negative energy.
The perfect mother is not necessarily the mother who never yells or screams, but she must have a healthy emotional flow and a heart that tolerates the child's wrong behavior.
Having a stable emotion is a good thing for children, for ourselves, and for life, but what we have is the emotions of ordinary people, and we are really not as omnipotent as gods. So we break down, we get angry, we get negative emotions.
In this way, I don't mean to say that we can throw tantrums with children at will. But suppressing their emotions is not recommended, as long as our emotions are not venting, in fact, sometimes we can let children know that parents are sad, broken, and angry because of them.
Because the growth of children is not isolated, they need to adjust their own way of dealing with the world by feeling the joys and sorrows of others, and a positive emotional bond must be both sides to gain and pay.
Accepting our emotions and gradually finding adjustments that suit ourselves, this period of self-redemption is not for better parenting, but for our own happier life.
While accepting emotions, we also need to be brave enough to face the problem, and the dilemma of parenting is the small grip that evokes the collapse of emotions.
More confidence, more attempts, when encountering parenting problems do not have a fear of difficulties, this attempt failed, we summarize the experience, and try more. There is no problem to press the body, naturally the heart is comfortable, and there are fewer negative emotions.
After emotional stability, you must take the initiative to show closeness to your child
This is very important, otherwise children can't judge whether their parents are unhappy or not.
If two people argue and have a relationship with the child, tell him to correct it in a suitable way; if the bad emotions have nothing to do with the child, be sure to tell them clearly: the quarrel between mom and dad has nothing to do with them.
If you lose your temper with your child for no reason, be sure to apologize to him
Children are small, but they also aspire to be treated equally. When they make mistakes, we often ask them to apologize, and when we make mistakes, we should also apologize generously to our children.
Children are especially easy to forgive for adult mistakes. And this kind of calmness and responsibility of adults also sets a good example for children to dare to do and dare to be bold.
As the saying goes, "Good medicine is good for the sick, and good advice is good for the ear." ”
Regarding family parenting, if you have more insights, you can leave a message in the comment area to communicate~
Share articles with friends and family who have children around you to help them improve family relationships.
——————————
[Author of this article]: Secretary Zhang of Orangutan Village
[Original Statement]: Some of the content of the article is excerpted from the Network, if there is infringement, please contact the author to correct and delete.
[Column Introduction]:
"Orangutan Ball Has Something to Say" is a parent-child education column of the new media channel under "Orangutan Ball Village". We aim to help more families improve their parent-child relationship and let the flowers of the motherland have a good childhood.
For more content, click on your avatar to follow us.