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Most people, after liking someone, will think about getting close to each other. They don't know what kind of way they can bring each other closer. So they may go to please, but many times, a brief flattery will not be exchanged for the other party's attention, and may even ruin an intimate relationship.
Many emotional cases tell us that if you want to maintain a relationship for a long time, it is not enough to just please. Perhaps short-term flattery can bring each other closer, but over time it is likely that they will be kicked away by the other party.
If you want to be close to the person you like, then you must use psychological skills skillfully. Understand that direct flattery is useless, and it is often better to use hints.
One: Flattery will only make the other party look down on themselves
I believe that most young people have made the mistake of doing their best to please someone when they like someone. When they see that the other party is in the circle of friends and expresses their love for something, they will find ways to buy it and give it to each other.
At this time, the other party may behave very happily, and the flatterer may feel very satisfied, and the two people may go along with nature. But such a relationship does not last long, and may not even last more than three months.
After experiencing such a thing, many people will think that the reason why the feelings cannot last for three months is because the freshness is at work, and after three months, the freshness between each other has been exhausted, and naturally cannot go on.
We can't deny that, but it's not entirely true.
At the beginning of a relationship, the novelty must be there. Freshness can make a relationship, but whether the relationship can sustain it depends on the way they get along with each other.
If the novelty at the beginning exists because of flattery, then the corresponding changes must be made later to maintain the relationship for a long time. Regardless of men and women, if they have been in a low position in their feelings, humbly thinking of pleasing each other, the ending is naturally unsatisfactory.
Only equal feelings can be maintained for a long time, and excessive flattery in a relationship will only make the other party look down on themselves, and it is only a matter of time before they are kicked away.
Second: Skillful use of the hint effect, in order to do more with less
People in intimate relationships, if they want to avoid being kicked away, must refuse to please, and then hint at the other party at the right time.
In psychology, there is an effect called the suggestive effect, which refers to influencing the behavior of the other party in a more subtle and abstract way at the right time, so that the other party can accept some opinions and make his thoughts and behaviors change.
Many teachers will use this effect when educating students, but in fact, people in feelings are more likely to be affected by the suggestive effect.
For example, when some people first start a relationship, they will feel that they and the other party may not go to the end, and the result is that the two people really break up.
In this case, some people will think that their hunch is accurate, but is this really the case? It may not be, in fact, the reason why two people will be separated is likely to be that one of them is affected by the suggestive effect.
If at the beginning of the relationship, it is implied that you will not go to the end with the other party, then in this relationship, you will unconsciously make some excessively extreme moves, and eventually create a failed relationship.
Some people will think that the suggestive effect is very frightening, but everything has two sides.
Since the hint effect can ruin a relationship, it can naturally achieve a relationship. So how can lovers in intimate relationships use the suggestive effect to maintain their relationship with each other and have a long-term and sweet love?
The answer is not difficult, if you want to use the suggestive effect to firmly grasp the heart of your lover, in daily life, you should hint at each other through some actions or words: each other is the most suitable person. Don't have a negative mindset, and don't think that sooner or later the two will be separated.
For example, if you find that the other party has some shortcomings, but it is not good to say it too directly, you can also see a similar situation in the TV series, discuss it with him, and then hint at the other party that he may also have this problem.
In this way, most people can realize their problems and accept the opinions of their partners. At the same time, you will also feel the good intentions of the other party and take the relationship more seriously.
Don't be afraid to start a new relationship, and don't be insincere for fear of being abandoned.
Sincerity is never wrong, but when you are sincere, you must also learn to play some careful machines, do not be flattered, in order to better manage a relationship.
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